Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Revenge - Chap 5"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
20 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Bravo! You did say that you enjoyed writing the emotional stuff, and you handled this scene as a true professional. It's an utter tease to the reader, but a torment to Garth, who is loath to tell the woman who has obviously become the love of his life, that her sister has most likely been murdered.
I found a single error:
What did Ortez tell you?"
-->
What did Ortiz tell you?"
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Allie's reaction is predictably distraught, but she's holding onto a shred of hope, and we as the readers are rooting for her.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Bravo! You did say that you enjoyed writing the emotional stuff, and you handled this scene as a true professional. It's an utter tease to the reader, but a torment to Garth, who is loath to tell the woman who has obviously become the love of his life, that her sister has most likely been murdered.
I found a single error:
What did Ortez tell you?"
-->
What did Ortiz tell you?"
***
Allie's reaction is predictably distraught, but she's holding onto a shred of hope, and we as the readers are rooting for her.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Thanks so much for the review and for enjoying my story. I hope it continues to draw your interest. It's tough to be able to read, review, answer, and write...but I am trying to do my best. Thank you for understanding.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
and I still have another one to read! That was the hardest part for Garth, I can't imagine having to tell someone something as awful as that. You wrote it really well, Carol, I kept wanting to tell Alie to shut up, and let Garth tell her, and I wanted to shout at Garth for messing around and not coming to the point! What a chapter! Well done again, my friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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and I still have another one to read! That was the hardest part for Garth, I can't imagine having to tell someone something as awful as that. You wrote it really well, Carol, I kept wanting to tell Alie to shut up, and let Garth tell her, and I wanted to shout at Garth for messing around and not coming to the point! What a chapter! Well done again, my friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Forgive me please for my poor display of gratitude and appreciation. I truly am grateful for all your time, your review and your thoughtfulness. I'm struggling with life and I apologize for neglecting your efforts. I am weeks behind in responding so I must at least cut and paste a thank you and hope you understand. I am thrilled that you have taken the time to read my story and to enjoy it.
Smiles, hugs and much love for all the support.
Carol
Comment from lancellot
A very good chapter. The readers can understand Garth's evasiveness. Allie isn't an FBI agent, and Garth really shouldn't be telling a journalist the confidential stuff her does. It makes you wonder if his love affair will come back and bite him.
Good work.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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A very good chapter. The readers can understand Garth's evasiveness. Allie isn't an FBI agent, and Garth really shouldn't be telling a journalist the confidential stuff her does. It makes you wonder if his love affair will come back and bite him.
Good work.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Wow... Thanks so much, lance. I wonder since she was undercover I the prison and helped on other things, if in this new story I should somehow update her status with the FBI, though I don't know what that would be. I do believe the love affair might interfere in his usual quick, direct thinking regarding the job.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Mary Shifman
Somehow I missed the first couple of chapters of your story so I went back and read them. This is riveting and so well written. I got chills as I read the last few paragraphs. I'm going to keep up with the rest of the chapters. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Somehow I missed the first couple of chapters of your story so I went back and read them. This is riveting and so well written. I got chills as I read the last few paragraphs. I'm going to keep up with the rest of the chapters. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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You are very welcome.
Comment from dmt1967
Allie felt (the butterflies fluttering around inside her stomach.) (butterflies in her stomach.) That is all you need, in my opinion. It still explains how she felt. Thank you for sharing and another great chapter. Hope you are well?
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Allie felt (the butterflies fluttering around inside her stomach.) (butterflies in her stomach.) That is all you need, in my opinion. It still explains how she felt. Thank you for sharing and another great chapter. Hope you are well?
Comment Written 19-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Wow. Not an easy bit of information to share and he knew how it would be received. That's going to start a whole new direction. Will she be able to know it's not her sister? Very curious....
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Carol,
Wow. Not an easy bit of information to share and he knew how it would be received. That's going to start a whole new direction. Will she be able to know it's not her sister? Very curious....
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from karenina
You did not disappoint. This chapter fully explored the struggle to both give and receive heart-wrenching news. Allie--being her naturally inquisitive self could not have expected Garth would have such a thing to share! Garth, realizing his growing affection for her would have struggled to quell her playfulness and barrage of questions and calm her before he presented what he knows-- The reader knows it's not Jaz. Poor Garth and Allie have yet to discover that! I like the pace of this chapter... It allows us to dwell in the moment. I'm ready for more!
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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You did not disappoint. This chapter fully explored the struggle to both give and receive heart-wrenching news. Allie--being her naturally inquisitive self could not have expected Garth would have such a thing to share! Garth, realizing his growing affection for her would have struggled to quell her playfulness and barrage of questions and calm her before he presented what he knows-- The reader knows it's not Jaz. Poor Garth and Allie have yet to discover that! I like the pace of this chapter... It allows us to dwell in the moment. I'm ready for more!
Karenina
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Forgive me please for my poor display of gratitude and appreciation. I truly am grateful for all your time, your review and your thoughtfulness. I'm struggling with life and I apologize for neglecting your efforts. I am weeks behind in responding so I must at least cut and paste a thank you and hope you understand. I am thrilled that you have taken the time to read my story and to enjoy it.
Smiles, hugs and much love for all the support.
Carol
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Hugs...
K
Comment from Ric Myworld
Never a dull moments in Carol land. Stretching the bounds of our imaginations pass where we've ever thought they might go. All I need is some hot, buttery popcorn. Thanks for sharing. :-)
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Never a dull moments in Carol land. Stretching the bounds of our imaginations pass where we've ever thought they might go. All I need is some hot, buttery popcorn. Thanks for sharing. :-)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
A good write! I like the way you showed the emotions between Garth and Allie. She just kept badgering Garth to tell her what he knew, and he was struggling so much to have to give her the bad news. Very realistic. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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A good write! I like the way you showed the emotions between Garth and Allie. She just kept badgering Garth to tell her what he knew, and he was struggling so much to have to give her the bad news. Very realistic. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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You're welcome. Love & prayers.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Allie appears to be facing a very tough situation. I'm not sure how GArth going to share the information and will he blow his top? Many ifs nad buts.
A bit premature to guess. Overall, the chapter is interesting.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Allie appears to be facing a very tough situation. I'm not sure how GArth going to share the information and will he blow his top? Many ifs nad buts.
A bit premature to guess. Overall, the chapter is interesting.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
