Excellent Heroes come in all forms. This Is A Job For Capt. Scarlet! by Michael Jefferson Worlds Collide: A Character Mashup contest entry

Heading to Fire Station 41, Blaze Grissom and his commanding officer, Chief Smokey Hotspur, stop at a sidewalk cart for hot dogs. “Two with mustard, onions, and chili,” Smokey says, rubbing his washboard stomach. The fortyish friends have been firefighters for a dozen years. Known for his expressive dark eyes and charismatic smile, Blaze is dedicated, polite, and caring. With bushy eyebrows, a ruddy complexion and a military crew cut, Smokey is the epitome of a take-charge leader, which belies his playful nature. Blaze is about to order when he glances at the vendor. His jaw drops. “What’s the matter, Blaze? You cash strapped again?” Smokey looks at the vendor. “Holy crap! It’s one of those A.I. things. I didn’t know they were so advanced that they could man a hot dog cart…” Blaze looks closely at the A.I.'s bottomless blue eyes and black hair. “That’s not an A.I. or a robot. It’s Paul Metcalf… It’s Captain Scarlet!” “Who?” “You’ve never watched Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons? This is the hero, Captain Scarlet!” “…He’s a puppet…” “A marionette!” Captain Scarlet says. “Sorry, I missed the show. What was it about?” Blaze gushes like a true fan. “Captain Scarlet and the members of Spectrum were agents who fought against Captain Black and the Mysterons to keep them from conquering Earth. The Mysterons were from Mars, and they would kill people, resurrect them, put them under their control, and use them to blow up military bases and assassinate Earth’s leaders.” “Sounds kinda heavy for a puppet show.” “You should have seen it, Smokey. Spaceships, ray guns, cool battles, and lots of explosions. It had everything a kid could ask for.” “So, Captain, how did you wind up slinging hot dogs?” Smokey asks. “The network canceled the show. They said it was too dark and violent for kids.” Smokey looks behind the marionette. “Who’s operating him?” he wonders. Still giddy, Blaze asks, “Where are the other members of Spectrum?” “Colonel White hired himself out as a figurehead for a sailing ship. Captain Blue runs his own security company, Captain Magenta is on the convention circuit, and Lieutenant Green started a coconut farm.” “What about your nemesis, Captain Black? His deep, slow voice scared the bee Jesus out of me.” “Me too,” Captain Scarlet admits. “That threatening tone of his has helped him get a lot of work doing voice-overs.” “And the Angels, Harmony, Symphony, Rhapsody, and Melody?” Blaze asks. “I know it sounds weird, but as a little boy, I had a crush on those four girl pilots.” “They formed a singing group,” Captain Scarlet replies. “Their first single is…” “Let me guess, ‘Wooden Heart’?” “Close, ‘Wooden Ships.’” “You do realize you’re talking to a puppet, don’t you?” Smokey asks. “I’m not a puppet!” Captain Scarlet protests. “I’m a marionette!” Smokey looks skyward. “So, who’s pulling your strings?” Blaze looks up in the air, hoping to detect the wires operating the marionette. “…I don’t see any…” “Might be one of those anatomic gizmos or a robot that runs on batteries,” Smokey says. “I can’t believe my boyhood hero is selling hot dogs…” “The network brought the show back four times since it went off the air,” Captain Scarlet says. “I’ve spent the rest of the time in a fog, wondering what I would do with my life.” Smokey looks around. “This gizmo thinks it's alive. We’re being punked, Blaze. Somebody’s having a good laugh at our expense. Where are the cameras?” “I’d like a chance to better myself,” Captain Scarlet says. “I want to be remembered as loyal and heroic like I was on TV.” Captain Scarlet’s head slowly moves up and down as if he’s perusing the firefighters’ outfits. “I got it. What if I become a firefighter?” “What you’re asking is impossible,” Smokey responds. “First off, you’re not even human. Can you carry a ladder, a hose, or a person? But the biggest problem is you’re made of wood.” “That’s entirely true,” Captain Scarlet replies. “I’m made from wood, plasticine, silicone, and fiberglass.” “You’ll still go up like a Roman candle. We like our firefighters flame retardant.” “The Equal Opportunity Employment Act requires you to give me a chance.” “Show me the section referring to puppets…” “Marionettes!” Blaze pulls Smokey aside, whispering, “You’re a Star Trek fan. The character of Data, the android, wanted to be human…” “And look where it got him. Dead.” “But this is Captain Scarlet we’re talking about. The bravest, most fearless character ever created.” “Then maybe we should hire the guys who created him.” “You know what the best part about him is? He’s indestructible.” “We’re not living a TV show, Blaze.” “C’mon, Smokey. Be a sport.” Smokey shakes his head in disbelief. “All right, but he’s your responsibility. If you want to sponsor a puppet…” “MARIONETTE!” Captain Scarlet yells. “Then you’d better knock on wood.”                                                 *** Blaze stops Smokey near one of the fire trucks. “Do you think having Captain Scarlet feed the dogs is a good idea?” “They bury bones, not wood. Besides, he has to do something. Where is he?” A large Dalmatian runs past them, carrying an arm. A second Dalmatian bounds by, carrying a leg. Captain Scarlet hops past. “Don’t worry, I got this. I’m indestructible!”                                                 *** Blaze and Smokey hang onto the side of the firetruck as it weaves through traffic. Captain Scarlet sits on top, waving at passersby. “The fire started when a manure vacuum truck cleaning a barn caught fire,” Blaze reports. “No sh@*!…” “You shouldn’t cuss like that in front of the men, Chief.” “They’re not choir boys, and the situation lends itself to all kinds of crappy jokes.” “And that was one of them. If we start spraying hundreds of gallons of water to cool down the temperature of the manure, then the runoff could become an environmental issue,” Blaze notes. “We can’t take a chance on that crap exploding. Then the sh!!@#$! will really hit the fan. But I’m not going in that barn, and I don’t have the heart to send you or one of the other guys in. This is a job for Captain Scarlet!”                                                 *** The truck’s siren winds down as it pulls into Pheonix Farm. A cloud of smoke looms over the barn. Smokey gags. “Aw man, that smells like a thousand sewers. Put your masks on, men.” Blaze helps Captain Scarlet with his firefighting gear. “The smell is overwhelming. You sure you’re okay with this, Paul?” Blaze asks. “I can’t smell. And someone has to step up. I’m glad you’re giving me the chance.” “Don’t try to be a hero.” “It’s my nature,” Captain Scarlet replies. “And by the way, thanks.” “For what?” “You’re the only one who calls me by my first name. That means a lot to me.” Pulling a hose along with him, Captain Scarlet steps into the opaque cloud of smoke. “Can you see him?” Blaze asks. “No. But I can hear him spraying the pile of manure.” The ground rumbles. An explosion knocks the men off their feet and sends a noxious cloud of smoke fifty feet in the air. Manure rains down on the men. Wiping his face, Smokey says, “You look flushed, Blaze.” “I’m worried about Captain Scarlet.” “He’s a charred toothpick by now.” A smoldering Captain Scarlet stumbles into view, holding a severed, burnt fire hose. “Fire’s out, Chief,” he says.                                                 *** Smokey slams his fist against his desk. “The audacity of some people!” “What’s the matter, Chief?” Blaze asks. “We’ve been challenged to a hot wing eating contest by the Denver Broncos. Their middle linebacker, Marion ‘Mountain Goat’ Marvell, is going to represent them.” “Didn’t he eat Volkswagen?” “Not in one sitting, but yeah. We need someone fearless, with a ferocious appetite.” “I’d say Billy Chestnut, but he developed an ulcer from our pizza-eating contest against the Police Department.” “How about you?” Smokey asks. “Not me, Chief. I can barely handle a Happy Meal.” Smokey snaps his fingers. “This is a job for Captain Scarlet!”                                                 *** Blaze remains in Blaze’s office chair, holding his head in his hands as Captain Scarlet looks in the mirror, grunting with disapproval at his fake beard and mustache. “Are you sure they won’t know I’m a marionette?” “They don’t even know how to spell the word,” Smokey replies. “They’re football players, knuckleheads. You do know how to fake eating, don’t you? Like we showed you?” “It’s not having an Adam’s Apple that may be a problem.” “Just tear at the chicken and push it down your throat with your finger. It’ll look like you’re sucking the sauce off your fingers. And remember, don’t swallow the bones. That may look suspicious.” “Oh, yeah, that’s the suspicious-looking part,” Blaze comments. “How are you planning to get the chicken out of me?” “I know a carpenter. He can open you up like a can of tuna and close you back up.” “Will there be a scar?” “He might have to sand you down in a few places, but he’s got a flesh-colored varnish. He can even take a few inches off your stomach if you want.” “I want a scar,” Captain Scarlet replies. “It’ll make me look like one of the guys.” Blaze groans, shaking his head.                                                 *** Mountain Goat’s brawny teammates whisper and point at his opponent. “He don’t look right,” one says. “He looks kinda waxy. You know, dead.” “And scrawny. The Goat’s gonna eat him alive,” another man claims, placing more betting money on the table. The 360-pound linebacker strokes his thick black beard. “You look like you eat like a bird, dude. And what’s up with your skin? It’s shiny.” Smokey steps in. “He’s got puppetitis. It’s a rare skin disease that makes a person look like a puppet.” “Aw… Sorry, dude.” Smokey announces the start of the competition. “The man who can eat as many five-alarm wings as possible in fifteen minutes will be declared the winner. Ready? GO!” Captain Scarlet and the Mountain Goat tear into the wings. After ten minutes, Goat’s eyes tear up, and he’s sweating heavily as he tries to stuff more wings into his gullet. “…Dis sauce is so hot dat it’s numbed my lips…” Looking across the table, he watches in amazement as Captain Scarlet slips another wing between his teeth, deboning it. Swaying, Mountain Goat mumbles, “Whatta ya got, a wooden leg?” He slides out of his chair, crashing to the floor. Captain Scarlet is declared the winner. The firemen cheer Captain Scarlet. Smokey slaps him so hard on his back that his head spins around backward. Blaze quickly twists it back in place.                                                 *** Captain Scarlet sits on the steps of the fire station, his coal-black, unblinking eyes looking outwardly at nothing. Blaze exits through the front door and is about to speak to Captain Scarlet when he hears the marionette talking to himself. “…It’s bad enough I’m a freak in everyone’s eyes. Now they’ve turned me into a joke… I’m Captain Scarlet… I saved London from being blown up by an atomic bomb and saved the lives of the president and the world's leading astrophysicist. Anytime there’s a crisis, they yell, ‘This is a job for Captain Scarlet,’ like I’m a monkey on a bicycle, running around for their amusement…” The two Dalmatians amble up to Captain Scarlet, licking the side of his face. “…Careful, you’ll rub the paint off…,” he says sadly.                                                 *** Blaze leads the firefighter’s evacuation of the burning Hamm Apartment building. His skin bruised and smudged, Blaze drags himself to Smokey. Taking off his mask, he gulps for air. “There’s too much smoke. You can’t see more than two feet in front of yourself. The flames are seven feet high. We could only get as far as the second floor…” “…That leaves two more floors of families trapped in their apartments,” Smokey says grimly. “We can’t leave forty people to die.” Captain Scarlet grabs a fire extinguisher from the truck, heading toward the building. “Wait, Paul! You can’t go in there! You’ll burn up!” “THIS IS A JOB FOR CAPTAIN SCARLET!”                                                 *** Climbing the steps, Captain Scarlet sprays a path to the third floor. Banging on the tenant’s doors, he gathers them in the hallway. “Hold hands… Don’t let go, no matter what happens!” Coughing, their eyes stinging and watering, they follow Captain Scarlet down the steps. He kicks open the front door. Fed by a sudden rush of oxygen from outdoors, the flames rage around them. Captain Scarlet sprays the flames, pushing the tenants through the door. Captain Scarlet is the last to leave the building, and the tenants cheer when they see he’s safe. His body smoldering, he walks toward the fire truck. “Somebody put him out!” Smokey yells. The men turn their hoses on Captain Scarlet, hitting him with so much pressurized water that he nearly falls over. “What a display of courage!” Smokey says, slapping Captain Scarlet on the back. He grabs another fire extinguisher from the truck. “Call for a helicopter, Chief. I’ll lead the rest of the tenants to the roof.” Without hesitating, Smokey barks into his radio, punctuating his request with, “AND DO IT NOW!” Blaze steps in front of Captain Scarlet. “You can’t go back in there, Paul! I won’t have you risk your…um…life…” “Don’t worry, Blaze. I’m indestructible.” “That's what they said about the Titanic.” “They said it was unsinkable, not indestructible,” Captain Scarlet points out. “The same concept applies.” “I’m just doing what I was meant to do,” Captain Scarlet says, marching back toward the building.                                                 *** Captain Scarlet fights through the raging flames, ignoring the steam rising from his clothes. Reaching the fourth floor, he gathers the next group of tenants in the hallway. “My Bobo! Where’s my Bobo?” an old woman screams. “Jesus, Johanna! You’re worried about that mangy cat when we’re about to get barbecued?” her portly neighbor asks. “Get us outta here!” Captain Scarlet returns to Johanna’s apartment. Bobo is cringing in the corner beside the stereo, meowing in pain over his singed fur. Picking the cat up, Captain Scarlet heads back into the hallway, handing Bobo to Johanna. Johanna hugs Captain Scarlet, whose synthetic lips form a smile. He leads the tenants up the stairs to the roof. When the flames lick at a girl and her mother, he uses the last of the fire extinguisher to put them out. Splitting the tenants into two groups, Captain Scarlet helps the first group get into the helicopter. The tar on the roof is so hot that the tenants can feel their shoes melting. When the helicopter returns, Captain Scarlet helps the second group aboard. The pilot prepares to take off. “C’mon, Scarlet! There’s still room at the inn! Get in!” “I’m going back inside to make sure everybody got out.” “Don’t do it!” Johanna yells. “You’ll die!” Captain Scarlet closes the helicopter’s door. “…Don’t worry… I’m indestructible…” Heavy smoke and flames envelop the building’s roof as the helicopter takes off. The crowd’s cheers are hushed as the building collapses.                                                 *** The men of Firehouse 41 stand at attention in full uniform, saluting, as Smokey places an urn on the table next to a picture of Captain Scarlet. A dozen funeral wreaths on tripods celebrate and memorialize him. “…There’s no coming back from getting turned into ash…,” Smokey solemnly whispers to Blaze. Blaze looks up at the clear blue sky, trying to reign in his emotions, before turning his attention back to the urn. Holding back his tears, he mutters, “…He said he was indestructible…” Stepping up to the dais, Smokey clears his throat. “Paul Metcalf, or as we knew him, Captain Scarlet, never shirked his duty, no matter the danger involved. He was resilient and had a strong concern for others over his own safety. He was very different from the rest of us, yet he was more human than any of us. He may have been a puppet… And I can hear him shouting, “No! I’m a marionette!’ but he was also a hero. And he was one helluva man.” Blaze nudges Smokey, pointing at the sky. A puffy white cloud moves overhead. A quartet of strings drop down from the cloud, attaching themselves to the urn. The strings pull the urn upward. It disappears into the cloud. “Looks like someone up there really was pulling Paul’s strings,” Blaze says. “They’re taking him home.”

© Copyright 2025. Michael Jefferson All rights reserved. Michael Jefferson has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.