“Crazy is as Crazy Does”



 

“Crazy is as crazy does,” my doctor said to me,

so there stood I, with unzipped fly, and doused her floor with pee.

“What do you think you're doing, man, are you completely nuts!?”

I zipped it up, showed her my butt, and farted on the putz.

 

They put me in a binding coat with many straps and such,

I'd bite the ones who pulled them tight when close enough to touch.

They filled me full of drugs and drips, a cocktail soothing med,

then laid me on a sheet so white, I thought that I was dead.

 

Then, late one night – I'd timed just right – an orderly came 'round.

After he'd come into my room, guess what it was he found?

Me, lying on the cold hard floor, in pails of sticky blood,

 with all the dead upon my ward...I killed him with a thud.

 

I'm just a loon, so out of tune with my reality.

If time provides I might decide it's you I want to see.

First, I must get outta here, I have so much work to do.

But never fear, I'll soon be near, and set my sights on you.


 

So, now I'm loose, and all are stiff, that's just the way I like it.

The air of freedom soon I'll sniff — I'm gone, I must admit!

Doctor Wright – I feel her plight – tried to help me, I confess.

Before I go I must know where to find her home address...