Letters and Diary Poetry posted February 14, 2013 |
too soon to write her memoirs
From Joana
by uptowngirlchef1961
I see you when I close my eyes
the way that you appeared in our bedroom fully naked like some warrior devoid of brilliant body paint fierce in your wanting me some tiny part of your spirit gentled by my touches Somehow you appeared relaxed yet with nerves so raw they danced feverishly upon your skin parallel emotions are revealed in your eyes there exists the whole of a poem in those eyes a poem that i know i will never write My mirror has changed not entirely the result of a terrible haircut i could say that three times click my heels still it will be a ghastly hair cut "a chemo cut" there are purple shadows beneath my eyes bruises and angry eruptions splatter across my belly...my limbs...and on my breasts proof positive of a weakening immune system How do I classify these new tears? if they come in quiet-hot-cleansing-streams is that not better than those that torment my lungs in desperate-choking-gasps and turn my leaky eyes puffy and red? often my eyes simply fill up tears slip free barely noticed and rarely acknowledged You have been my friend...my lover...and best of all my muse you have drizzled the warm oil of a muse's magic into my waiting palms releasing the manna of my words they abound fitting themselves round each other to form sonnets and stanzas There will come a day when the siren chant of my words will prove less enchanting when that day comes i will ask my god to make me blind...deaf...and simple so that i cannot witness or comprehend the departure of our un-equaled joy and your un-matched beauty Leave me dearest one when you can no longer sit at my bedside looking neither left nor right...only straight ahead walk away from me at this final hour with more courage than either of us have ever shown before Once before you go press your lips to mine you will find that they remain warm and softly supple a joyous surprise in these last moments we have been given a gift to see ourselves as once we looked to one another rejoicing in the knowledge that this is not an ending simply...another beginning Now dearest one walk away in silent stocking feet and please...please...please dont look away and don't look back. |
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