She stood beside the river, wet and trembling.  Heart pounding, she tried to catch her breath as she stared into the muddy water of the Kankakee River.

“I hate going near the water, Marty.  You know I can’t swim, and it scares me to death.”

“Please?  I’ve got a surprise for you.  I’ve made plans to borrow Charlie’s canoe this weekend and it’ll be safe ‘cause there’s life vests in the boat.”

“I hate surprises.  What makes you think I’d ever want to go canoeing?  I hate that stupid river.  I hate sitting in the sun.  I hate the smell of fish.  Can’t we just go to dinner?”

“I thought my surprise might put a little spark in our marriage.  I’ll pack a picnic lunch, and we can spend the day together.  I think some time alone will do us good, Audie.   Can’t you do this for me … for us?”

“Oh, hell.  I don’t like one thing about this, but I suppose I can survive a few hours.”

 Saturday morning arrived warm and sunny. After spring’s record-breaking rain, the Kankakee remained at above-normal level, and continued to flow with a powerful current in early June.

“Isn’t it kinda dangerous to be on this river with it running so fast?”

“Naw. Charlie’s been out boating several times this week, and he said everything went okay.”

“I’m bored as hell, Marty. Can we go home now?”

“Don’t you like the beautiful, quiet scenery?”

“No.  I’d rather be home watching TV.”

“There’s just a little more to go. Charlie told me about a great place where we can stop and have our lunch before we head back.”

“How’s your wine, Audie? Want some more? It’s a special brand I bought just for you.”

“It’s okay, but I’m getting kinda woozy.  I don’t want any more. Can we go home now?”

“What’s the big hurry? Don’t you like spending time with me? Oh … wait, I know the answer to that. You’d rather spend time with your boyfriend, wouldn’t you, sweet Audrey?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t have any boyfriend.”

“Ah, my dear, but indeed you do.  Surprise! I followed you last week and found you and Joe doing things you say are too disgusting to do with me.  Have some wine, my sweet cheater.  It’ll make what’s about to happen a little easier to believe.”

“Whatcha gonna do? Did ya put somethin’ in the wine?”

“Oh, you’re so bright. Yup. That’s why you’re so sleepy.  I’m afraid we’re gonna have a little confrontation in the canoe, and there’s about to be a terrible accident.  I’ve been practicing my grief-stricken husband routine, and I think I’ve even convinced myself I’m going to miss you, Aud.”

Marty stowed the picnic supplies back into the basket, smashed the wine bottle and glass, and scattered the pieces in the woods. He pulled Audrey up by the arm and pushed her towards the boat. Wobbly and dizzy, she tripped on a tree root and fell.

He yanked her up. “Come on, sweetie pie, we’ve gotta play out our final scene together.  It’s gonna be such a terrible tragedy. What a shame to drown at such a young age.”

He shoved her onto the floor of the canoe and pushed the boat back into the water.  In the middle of the river, he threw her life vest into the water.  “Wake up, princess.  Time for you to take a dive.”

As he moved towards her, she grabbed the oar and swung it as hard as she could. He fell backwards over the seat and smashed his head on the edge of the boat.  “You don’t think I drank that wine do you? You idiot; I hate wine.  Too bad you never paid attention to what I like.”

Putting on the other life vest, she stood and rocked the boat until it turned over, dumping the unconscious Marty into the fast moving water.  Dog-paddling toward shore, a motor boat pulled up alongside and pulled her in.

She stood beside the river, wet and trembling.  Joe put his arm around her and said, “Our plan worked, baby. I knew you could do it.”