Last Minute Hero

By 9 a.m., Bob knew he'd messed up. It was his wife Laura's birthday, and he'd completely forgotten to get her a gift. He could already see her disappointed smile, probably followed by a "Don't worry, honey," that would haunt him for weeks.

Desperate, Bob glanced around his office, hoping for inspiration. And there it was: a giant cactus sitting on the filing cabinet. "A plant!" he muttered. "Who wouldn't want a giant cactus?"

The office cactus was legendary, not for its beauty but for its resilience. It had survived countless moves, zero water, and even a minor fire when Dave from accounting tried to use it as an ashtray. To Bob, this cactus symbolized strength fitting, he reasoned, since Laura had been "surviving" his antics for 20 years.

He swiped the cactus, shoved it into an empty box, and sped out, ducking so his boss wouldn't spot him. At a florist, he slapped on a gift tag reading, To My Prickly Love, feeling unreasonably proud.

By the time he got home, it was almost noon, and Laura was waiting, arms crossed. "You remembered!" she exclaimed.

Bob puffed up, oblivious to the cactus leaning out of the box. "Of course! Happy birthday, sweetheart!" he said, holding out the box proudly.

Laura opened it and blinked, her expression frozen between horror and amusement. "A... cactus?"

Bob, already mentally celebrating his last-minute success, didn't notice her reaction. "Yes! Strong, resilient, just like you. And low maintenance!"

Just then, his phone buzzed with an email titled Missing Cactus. Bob's stomach sank as he read, Does anyone know the whereabouts of the office cactus? Management would like it returned.

Sweating, he tried a smile. "Well... it's got a bit of history."

Laura raised an eyebrow, amused but suspicious. She leaned over the cactus, tapping her finger on something he hadn't noticed: the company's logo, Harrison & Co. Accounting, printed boldly on the pot. "You stole this, didn't you?"

"No! No," he stammered, then sighed. "Okay, yes. But think of it as... liberating it. From fluorescent lights and copier fumes!" He was grasping at straws, painfully aware of how absurd he sounded.

To his surprise, Laura laughed. "Only you would think a stolen office cactus with the company name on it could be romantic."

In that moment, Bob knew he'd gotten away with it. "Well, you know what they say," he added, getting into the spirit. "True love is thorny."

They laughed together, and Bob felt a swell of relief. Laura leaned over, kissing his cheek. "Next year, though, maybe just go with flowers."

The next day, Bob returned the cactus to its spot at the office, hoping no one would notice its absence. A sticky note was now attached to the pot. In Laura's handwriting, it read, To Bob, the last-minute hero.

And for weeks, every time he walked past it, he chuckled because who knew a prickly plant with a logo could save the day?