General Fiction posted October 24, 2024 |
Battle of the Sprites
The Queen
by DragonSkulls
Battle of the Sprites Contest Winner
It was a Saturday after work and I was cooking some chicken on the grill. I'll admit, I was a little bit loaded. A few vodka shots will do that to you. While in my cheap, plastic Lowe's rocking chair by the pool, something came fluttering up. I figured a couple butterflies. But imagine my surprise when they came floating right up to my face and what I saw wasn't butterflies at all. They were tiny people, little human shaped forms but with wings. That instantly jolted my memory back to when I was only five years old, while playing in the back yard, I watched in horror as a massive swarm of fairies snatched up and flew away with my baby brother. We never saw him again, let alone the fact that no one ever believed me.
I'm pretty good at swatting wasps out of the air and stomping on them while they're down. That's exactly what I did. I slowly stood up...then swung. The first one bounced off the concrete and smooshed under my flip flop. While the second one hovered in shock, I swatted that one toward the grill charcoal. It missed and bounced off the iron lid and flew away.
On the next night, this time there were thousands. That would take a lot of swatting energy that I simply did not have. The swarm parted and one, I guess I'll call her a fairy, flew in close. "I'm Princess Helvese, queen of the sprites," she proclaimed in her itty bitty, little voice."...and we-"
I cut her off, "You're the queen?"
"Yes, I'm queen Helv-"
I jumped up, grabbing my empty vodka mason jar on the way up and swatted her down. Once she bounced off the concrete, I crammed the mason jar over her and grabbed my can of flammable bug spray. I snatched my lighter up and sparked the flame, then used the can like a flamethrower and torched all her followers in a massive fireball. The ones that managed to live and flutter on the ground, I doused down with the same flying insect spay and took care of that problem.
I put the little castle in Queen Helvese's waterless fish tank more for irony than monarchy. I'm still not sure if I should feed her scraps of leftover human food or sprinkle her some birdseed.
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