“Will you stop all that name-calling and listen to me a minute?”

“Getting to you?”

“Yes! I can't stand being called a nut. How would you like it if someone called you a nut?”

“Never happen.”

“Well, I want you to know I’m not enjoying being here, either! Why do you even stand with me, f’rgosh sakes?”

“Not my idea. General Zeto’s.”

"Of all the worst times in the history of this world to put someone like you and I in charge of-”

“Of-”

“Well, God’s domain.”

While we hurled our remarks at one another, our screen indicated another state had become its victim. New Hampshire. I was through with all this child play.

“Listen, Haley, Science, or Karma, we were thrust into this position. We’re two lonely people-”

“Speak for yourself!”

“We’re two individuals, and suddenly we’ve been given an immense responsibility!”

Haley was about to add to my words, then fell silent. That’s Progress. No Comeback.

“In another universe, we could have embraced each other’s company...Maybe fallen in love…”

“One. I could never fall in love with anyone named Mervin. Two: I am not in the least attracted to you. Three: It has nothing to do with you. I am not skilled enough to be part of a two-person team to save this country!”

Haley’s words were right. Neither of us were skilled enough. And because of that, we were straining on each other’s last nerve.

How much time did we have, before….?

Hurricanes, they can come out of nowhere, typically starting as a tropical wave. This one started close to Cancun. Warm ocean air and low pressure combined into a powerhouse. Clouds, thunderstorms, heat. All combined for a powerful thud upon the Barrier Islands. The Hurricane, named Jezebel, raged a strange, non predictable path from Key Largo, to Cape Coral, Cape Canaveral to Cedar Key. There was no figuring it.

And each twist maximized the wind power.

And Jezebel carried on. From Florida, to Georgia, to Alabama, then an even more maniacal path through North Carolina, West Virginia, Kentucky, then fleeing back to Ohio. Murderous corkscrew.

FEMA was dead broke. The Weather Channel couldn’t keep up with it. They placed correspondents in as many of the areas they could. Due to the weird course of Jezebel, few survived.

Haley and I were in a small WC office in Las Cruces. We were not a team, by any means. Haley wouldn’t give me the time of day. But we were still far enough from Jezebel, General Zeto was in the vicinity, and banged on our door. But, could we remain far away?

Before we could plead not guilty, the General assigned us to monitor The Big Board and to research and advise any counter-measures.

Before we got on each other’s nerves, we talked over the absurdness of it all. There was just no way to stop this superstorm with a mind of its own. So, we came up with even more absurd solutions:

1. Body wrap each human being, and provide all with an oxygen line.

2. Get everyone to flush their toilets as the Hurricane visits and see if they could suck it in.

3. I said this mockingly at the time, Pray.

Now the board showed us her eye may be eyeing us. A brief stay in Oklahoma, enough to submerge the state, then to Texas. From Galveston to the Hill country, across the state, Jezebel was skipping towards us.

My words, spoken in jest, suddenly hit me.

“Haley, please listen. I know it sounds crazy, but I believe I’ve got the answer!”

“Merv, I’ll go along with almost anything, now. What?”

“First, let me confess something.”

“What now, Merv?”

“I love you! I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you!”

“Have you finally cracked up?”

“Please, Haley. I had to say that because…..”

“Yes?”

“Because, if my crazy idea isn’t so crazy...I need to hold your hand!”

“What in the wide world of…?”

“Listen, Haley. It came to me. No storm has a life of its own. This storm has a hand behind it. But not a human hand.”

“What’s this preoccupation with hands all of a sudden?”

“Sorry. I should have expressed it differently.”

“Well, before ol’Jezzy gets here, I might as well hear the rest of it-”

“There’s a force behind the storm.”

“Yep, so-”

“Well, no man can control this storm. It’s more than a storm. A monster. A supernatural creation!”

“You’re weirding out on me, Merv-”

“No, listen, Haley. If it’s not Man that’s guiding it, it’s…”

“You mean?…”

“God.”

“I was so right when I called you a nut.”

“Haley, look at it. It just doesn’t have a mind of it own. God is directing it!’

“Why, Merv? Why would a loving God indiscriminately destroy His Creation?”

“It’s because we are His Creation! It’s His right to do as He pleases!”

“So God is a murderer?”

“No, Haley. A Life Giver.”

“Then, why-?”

“Because He gave us so much, and we denied Him! The WC-Do they ever mention God? They treat everything like it emerged scientifically and man can deal with it scientifically! Do they even mention Prayer? Maybe God just wants to know we still care.”

“Oh, I get you, so we put our hands together, and pray and God will hear us…”

“Possibly. Perhaps other men and women are doing so, as well. Maybe if enough…”

“I...I’m willing, Merv.”

“I had to tell you I love you. You might feel it when we touch. But I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

And so we prayed. Where two or more are gathered in His name...as The Bible says.

I glanced at the Big Screen. Jezebel was upon us. The screen showed homes collapsing, a dark sky, people huddling in terror. We continued praying.

Our office sounded like a freight train was ramming it. The roof began to collapse. I grabbed Haley, shielded her on the ground.

Then, silence.

“What happened, Merv?”

“Maybe others were praying too. Other men and women.”

“There couldn't be another like you, Merv.”

I hardly ever wax poetic. But her words reminded me of this poem I heard many years ago. Carl Sandburg:

“There is only one Man in the world

and his name is Man.

There is only one Woman in the world.

and her name is Woman."