‘Thank God that’s over,’ Callum says, hands clamped on the steering wheel as we drive down the small dirt track back towards the gate. I prepare myself for the pothole ahead and grab the safety bar, but it still makes me jolt forward.

I peer over my shoulder at Oliver still standing outside the house, watching us, his hand raised. He’d come back to the house to see us off; he’d hugged me as we’d made our way out through the front door in a way that no one else, not even my parents, have ever hugged me before. Part of me wanted to stay there in that moment with him. I wanted to hold him tight and never let go. But like a dream fading, we’d parted; he didn’t make me promise to come back like I thought he would do, he didn’t beg me to stay. He let me go. There’s a clang and the gates open in front of us. It’s so weird, there’s a creepiness about him that makes part of me want to run, but there’s also something mysterious, I feel it, like gravity pulling me towards him.

‘Um, I think you’re going to be mad with me,’ I say, looking into my lap and biting my lip.

‘Why?’ he asks, steering the car through the gates.

‘I kind of, I want to come back and stay for longer.’

‘You can’t be serious,’ Callum says.

He’s keeping his focus on the road, but I can see him tightening his grip on the steering wheel. 

I sigh. ‘Something’s going on there, I’m sure of it, and whatever it is, it must be something to do with what happened to my family. I still don’t have the answers I came here for, I need more time.’

Callum shakes his head. ‘I s’pose you want me to come back with you.’ I don’t say anything; my silence pretty much confirms it for him. ‘What are we going to say to our parents? Not so much your parents, they’re fine with whatever you do, so long as you’re sensible, but my parents, my Mum won’t stop worrying about me if I’m away from home for some time.’

‘I’ve been thinking about that. We could either just tell them we’ve found somewhere where we’d like to live for the next, I don’t know how many months or so, or we can tell them we’re going away to do some travelling.’

‘Travelling, how are we going to prove that?’ Callum asks. ‘They’re gonna want to see photos and stuff. That’s not gonna be possible, Danielle.’

I purse my lips. ‘We can always photo shop them, to make it look like we’re abroad. We could say we’re planning to go away for three months or so, we don’t have to give them a definite time on when we’re going to be back.’

Callum shifts in his seat. ‘What about my job, Danielle? What about your job? It’s not something I just want to give up.’

I stare out at the fields passing us by on Callum’s side of the car, and the sheep grazing. I’d pretty much been thinking about moving on from my job in the last couple of months anyway. I don’t even think my manager would mind if I handed in my resignation; it’s not like he ever checks up on me to see how I’m doing. He must get an email from me every now and again and have to remind himself who I am.

‘Can you not work from home?’ I ask.

Callum lets out a sigh. ‘D’you really think Oliver and his lot are gonna let us set up our laptops and work from there?’

‘I can ask him,’ I say.

‘Danielle, I know we went for a weekend, but it didn’t strike me that they all had jobs to go to during the week. I need to really think about this OK, it’s not something I can just jump into. You need to think about it as well.’

Silence stretches out between us. I tap my feet on the mat in the footwell. I can’t do this without Callum, I need him. He has to see that.

'Sure, I’ll think about it,’ I say.

In my head, my mind’s already made up. I’m going back, no matter what Callum says.