"No more room inside please!
There's lots more seats on top
Hold very tight~ and mind the door
We're moving from the stop."

One passenger was quite upset
When told to go upstairs
Complaining of his painful legs
And~ of increased fares

"Can't help it~ and I sympathize,
No doubt they're in a state
But this is just a ruddy bus
Not an ambulance ~ mate"

"Madam! can you stop your child
From jumping on the seat
Excuse me sir! but do you mind?
You're standing on my feet."

"Two adults and two children
The fare is thirty-four
You want the Exhibition?
We pass outside the door"

" No sir! you want the twenty-two
It changes at the square
Jump on a number seventeen
It saves another fare."

"Don't worry love ~I won't forget
You want to get off where?
The local council offices?
I'll tell you when we are there"

Witty, cheeky~ downright rude
He'll help you when he can
How dull the world would be without
The Bus Conductor man.