The door slammed, echoing down the long hall.

Humphrey, his nerves shattered, screamed, “What’s that?”

“Oh, nothing,” replied Chic, “Just the ghost of this building! Now, where were we?”

“G—Ghost?”

“Don’t worry, Humphrey, just a ghost! Now, let’s see…You were asking…?”

“What’s closer to Paterson, New Jersey-Larchmont or Mamaroneck?”

“Well, Humphrey, it depends, I guess, on what direction you’re coming from?”

“Bus, train, or car?”

“Well, Humphrey, that presents a new problem. The distances, you see, vary.”

“Tell me, Chic, do we have to cross any bridges?”

Once more, the door slammed, echoing down the long hall.

“Chic, Oh Chic, the ghost!”

“Forget it, Humphrey. It’s just a ghost. Now, as to bridges…”

“I’m a’scared of bridges, Chic!”

“Why are you so shaky? First it’s ghosts! Now bridges!”

“But I’m afraid of bridges, Chic.”

“Why are you so scared of bridges, Humphrey?”

“There’s lots of water below. I can’t swim.”

“Well, there is that Paterson Great Falls Bridge once you get there.”

“Is…Is it a big…bridge, Chic?”

“Well, it’s not the size, but there’s always the danger it could flood.”

“Flood, Chic?”

“Well, Humphrey, in 1903 that and nearly every bridge in Paterson was destroyed in a great flood.”

The door slammed again, echoing down the long hall.

“What-?”

“Just the ghost again, Humphrey!”

“Chic, I think I’m afraid of Paterson! I don’t want to go over any bridge!”

“It will prove difficult to avoid bridges, but you can always take Interstate 78.”

“78?”

“Yeah, Humphrey, it will take you through the very scenic countryside of Central New Jersey.”

The door again slammed, echoing down the long hall.

“Chic, I’m scared!”

“Nothing to be scared of, Humphrey. Interstate 78 will help you avoid the George Washington Bridge.”

“Ain’t there no other way to get to Paterson?”

“No, Humphrey, but you can get a bike and try to make your own way.”

“Can I do that, Chic? Huh?”

“Naw! You’d be two-tired!-You don’t drink, do you, Humphrey?”

“No, I’m a tottittler,”

“You men, teetotaler.”

“Yeh, that’s it why?”

“Because drinkers can’t handlebars!”

“Don’t make fun of me, Chic! I…"

The door slammed again, echoing down the long hall.

“-Just the ghost, Humphrey, just the ghost!”

“Can I take the train to Paterson, Chic?”

“Sure, Humphrey, sure!”

“What train do I take?”

“You can take the Metro New York and the New Jersey Transit.”

“Should I take the train, Chic?”

“If you do, Humphrey, be careful about walking by the tracks!”

“Why, Chick?”

“Because you tire easily. You’re liable to get run down!”

“Can trains go fast, Chic? I’m a’scared of fast trains!”

“Yes, Humphrey. They can go pretty fast. But I once saw a rabbit go as fast as a train?”

“How’d he do that, Chic?”

“He was on the train!”

Once more, the door slammed, echoing down the long hall.

“I know, Chic…Only the ghost!”

“Anything else, Humphrey?”

“Yeah, cars. Can I take a car to Paterson?”

“Certainly. But don’t take a racecar.”

“Why, Chic?”

“Because then, you’ll have to look out for red flags. Oh, yeah, one other thing. Make sure you have lunch at Taco Bell before you get gas!”

The door slammed again, echoing down the long hall.

“One more thing, Chic?”

“What is it, Humphrey?”

“What language do they speak in Paterson?”