| Humor Fiction posted April 13, 2024 |
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Another Mystifying Thought...
How Now Brown Cow
by Tom Horonzy
Every day for the past seven years on "Nevertheless Acres' I have arisen to find a herd of Herdfords viewing me through my office window as I am viewing them.
Well, this morning, it occurred to me that I am glad not to be one of them, for I would definitely get bored eating grass twenty-four-seven, which they do unless they are lying down, which they do largely en masse after they tire of standing, I guess. I also wonder if they graze at night and whether they chew each mouthful thirty-two times as we are suggested to do to promote 'regularity'. Furthermore, did you know cows, like humans, have thirty-two teeth?
Another thought that caused me pause is how hamburgers, roasts, and steaks come from grass-eating bovines, though some herds get fed corn. Either way, there is no denying that cows are vegetarians, whereas I have a strong preference for meat; thus, I wouldn't fit in.
Additionally, unwanting to waste an inquiring mind, I learned that cows don't chew with a cud but rather chew cud, regurgitated grass needing further gnawing. Despite people saying, "Cows have four stomachs," that isn’t true. They have but one, yet it is divided into four compartments: the rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasum, which work together to help cows digest food efficiently.
Anyhow, after doing due diligence, I pass onto you this learned knowledge, assuming you, as I, have an inquiring mind which caused me to subscribe to The National Inquirer, available at the introductory price of... 1 YEAR 52 ISSUES FOR $139.88
I don't believe this article will debunk the idea that I have a demented or mystifying mind, does it?
Every day for the past seven years on "Nevertheless Acres' I have arisen to find a herd of Herdfords viewing me through my office window as I am viewing them.
Well, this morning, it occurred to me that I am glad not to be one of them, for I would definitely get bored eating grass twenty-four-seven, which they do unless they are lying down, which they do largely en masse after they tire of standing, I guess. I also wonder if they graze at night and whether they chew each mouthful thirty-two times as we are suggested to do to promote 'regularity'. Furthermore, did you know cows, like humans, have thirty-two teeth?
Another thought that caused me pause is how hamburgers, roasts, and steaks come from grass-eating bovines, though some herds get fed corn. Either way, there is no denying that cows are vegetarians, whereas I have a strong preference for meat; thus, I wouldn't fit in.
Additionally, unwanting to waste an inquiring mind, I learned that cows don't chew with a cud but rather chew cud, regurgitated grass needing further gnawing. Despite people saying, "Cows have four stomachs," that isn’t true. They have but one, yet it is divided into four compartments: the rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasum, which work together to help cows digest food efficiently.
Anyhow, after doing due diligence, I pass onto you this learned knowledge, assuming you, as I, have an inquiring mind which caused me to subscribe to The National Inquirer, available at the introductory price of... 1 YEAR 52 ISSUES FOR $139.88
I don't believe this article will debunk the idea that I have a demented or mystifying mind, does it?
I don't believe this article will debunk the idea that I have a demented or mystifying mind, does it?
Continuing my attempt to amuse, here is the latest sojourn into the mad, mad world of yours truly.
The picture is one of the bovines looking in my office that was likely thinking along the lines I thought though preferring a vegetarian diet.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. The picture is one of the bovines looking in my office that was likely thinking along the lines I thought though preferring a vegetarian diet.
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© Copyright 2024. Tom Horonzy All rights reserved.
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