For a summary of what's happened in previous posts, please see author notes.

This chapter is a flashback scene to a year before the trial. 

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13th July 2022

‘So, Joshua, I hear you’ve been seeing someone,’ I say.

Rachel’s head shoots up from her food and she glares at me from across the table. I ignore her, and continue beaming at my son. He doesn’t look up at me. He stabs at a piece of steak with his fork and plops it into his mouth, a strand of his dark hair flops over his eye. I know Rachel will have a go at me for mentioning it later, but I’ve been aching to ask him since she showed me the picture on her Instagram. I keep asking her if he’s posted any more, but she keeps shying away from me.

‘Um, well, yeah, I’ve sort of being seeing someone,’ he says. ‘How did you find that out?’

He’ll be cringing inside, I know that, but I want to at least know the girl’s name.

‘That’s wonderful, I’m so pleased for you,’ I say. ‘It was Rachel actually; she showed me one of your stories the other day.’

‘Mum,’ Rachel snaps, throwing her fork down onto the plate. ‘I’m sorry Josh, but I only showed her the one picture, I never said that you were dating.’

He smiles. ‘It’s fine, I was going to mention something about her anyway,’ Joshua says, although he’s probably just saying that to stop an argument happening between me and Rachel. ‘Look, I only met her a week ago. We’ve seen each other a couple of times, and yeah, I really like her.’

‘What’s her name?’ I ask, leaning my elbows on the table, my body buzzing with excitement.

‘Susannah,’ he says. ‘But don’t get your hopes up too much, Mum, we’ve only been on a couple of dates.’

‘I know, but it’s a positive step forward,’ I say. ‘She looked very pretty in the photo.’

Joshua looks into his plate of food and I can see his cheeks have tinged red. ‘Yeah, she is.’

‘So when are you next seeing her?’ I press him.

Rachel fixes me with another steely glare. ‘Mum, you’re asking too many questions.’

‘It’s fine, Rach, honest,’ Joshua grins at her. I wonder if he’s talked more in depth to her about Susannah, than Rachel’s let on to me. I wonder if Joshua will be having words with her about showing me the picture after dinner, but they’ve never argued a lot with each other, not even when they were small. They were best friends right up until they went to senior school. That was the point when they didn’t want anything to do with each other. ‘I might be seeing her at the weekend, but before you ask, no I’m not going to be bringing her over here to meet you just yet. I think we should give it another couple of weeks first.’

‘Of course, of course,’ I say, picking up my glass of wine and taking a sip. ‘I wasn’t going to ask you to anyway. I’m really pleased for you, Joshua and I can’t wait to meet her when the time comes.’