My Grandad

I saw my Grandad just last week.

We played a game of hide-and-seek.

He told me I should never peek.


How I love a sunny day

when Grandad takes me out to play.

He counts to ten, I run away.


Grandad can be really funny,

pretending he's the Easter Bunny.

(As well as eggs he gives me money.)


Grandad can be really silly.

Grandma says his name is "Billy."

She says he is a Silly-Billy.


Sometimes, as a special treat

I'm allowed a sticky sweet.

"Thank you, Grandad. That's so neat."


Grandad's knees are sharp and knobbly.

His skinny legs are often wobbly.

His cardigan is oh so bobbly.


Sometimes Grandad is a sight,

he takes his false teeth out at night.

Granny says he looks a fright.


Grandad's beard is long and straggly.

His clothes are often raggly-taggly.

He makes his ears go wiggly-waggly.


Sometimes Grandad's really naughty,

when on his head he puts Jack's pottie.

Personally, I think that's grotty!


Jack and me are Grandad's "nippers".

He lets us sniff his old brown slippers.

He says they smell like Grandma's kippers.


Grandad has a shiny head.

"I used to have black hair," he said,

"I'd like some golden curls instead."


Grandad watches sport on telly.

I hear strange rumbles from his belly,

then the room gets really smelly!


Grandad likes to hog the loo.

He says he wonders how I knew

that he had done that stinky poo.


Grandad's cat is very furry

but Grandad doesn't seem to worry.

I love it when that cat gets purry.


Sometimes Grandad's very weird

like when he licks food off his beard.

But then he winks, and I feel cheered.


Often Grandad tells me tales

of dinosaurs and giant whales,

to make me laugh - it never fails.


Grandad writes me things called "odes"

'bout princesses and slimy toads.

I really love old Grandad loads!


Grandad wears an old string vest.

It doesn't hide his hairy chest.

Yeah, gosh - you know - I love him best!