My name is Tyler and I am here to say, vote for me on election day.

I am the best and most qualified choice, and it is to people both big and little that I give voice.

Voice on the issues, policies and national trends, and unlike my opponents, I try not to offend.

One opponent is bloated, orange, rude and kind of a chump.

The other’s only qualification is that he’s not Trump.

I will start with the current Commander-in-Chief:

The cure for insomnia; boring beyond all belief.

I have a theory I will have to clear with my attorneys,

That the Biden White House is like “Weekend at Bernie’s”.

I am not saying the President is passed on, actually deceased,

Just that he is usually asleep and animated with strings.

When he winks, sneers or looks tough, it can be kind of creepy,

I’ve come to think I’ve talked about him enough…it’s making me sleepy.

I will wake up the audience with the other guy, the most abrasive of all time.

For the duration that it has taken me to type this, he has been indicted for three crimes.

Trump is the kind of bully I would not want to fight,

A man that dons a hockey mask and stalks teens in the night.

Enough about Rip Van Winkle and the Oompa Loompa’s crazed brother.

Two men in their eighties; just politicians, like hundreds of others.

Why is it that I think you should vote for me?

Because I’m a capitalist who loves to hug trees.

Prosperity, sound policy and breathtaking innovation,

I am the leader and champion of the next generation.

At 41, I’m half their age and full of optimism and joy.

Compared to the field, I’m an energetic young boy.

I have the authority, the gravitas and all that’s required,

To be a good Prez and I can give a speech without getting tired.

Which is more than I can say about the current guy,

Or the crazy orange uncle that does nothing but lie.

I ask for your vote if you like me and my rhymes.

I plan to vote for myself many, many times.