Disappearing Act

Some of you may have noticed my comparative silence over the past few weeks after a flurry of activity during December and January.  I feel like I owe you an explanation!  There are a few reasons why I've momentarily disappeared – some were foreseen, while others were completely unexpected.

Firstly, December and January coincided with my annual summer holidays.  As a teacher, this downtime is precious.  It's really the only time during the year where I completely switch off and relax.  My switching-off was more profound than ever this time, following some frustrating decisions in my workplace at the very end of last year.  Several of the performing arts programmes I'm deeply passionate about were cancelled without warning and the level of communication from our leadership was extremely poor.  Therefore, I was determined to spend absolutely no time, energy or thought on any schoolwork over the summer (for the first time in my working life) and instead I would completely engage in intellectually stimulating pursuits that bring me joy. 

Having time on my hands during the summer to indulge in writing and reviewing without the impediments of a standard working day was really enjoyable, and it also served to fill the gap while waiting for the arrival of my two beautiful kittens.  I wanted to get some writing pieces “in the bank” while I could, knowing that these two gorgeous little miscreants would take up a lot of my time once they joined my household.  This has indeed come to pass!

Predictably, my writing output has been curtailed since my return to work on January 29.  Even though I work part-time, teaching is an absorbing pursuit.  The actual act of teaching is only one component of the job, as many current and former teachers among you will recognise.  There is also much time spent preparing resources, providing feedback to students on their work, and completing those ubiquitous administrative tasks that continue to mushroom in the profession and take up an inordinate amount of time.  Also, while several of the performing arts programmes I previously directed have been cancelled, I'm the musical director for our whole school production of The Drowsy Chaperone and (for the moment at least) that activity is continuing.  We've just finished the arduous but enjoyable process of auditions, callbacks and casting, while also commencing rehearsals. 

All these interruptions were predictable, and I realised that my writing output would necessarily have to give way to real life at the end of January.  However, another most unexpected commitment has also arrived out of the blue.

I've been involved in my local community theatre group for thirty years, but over the past decade my involvement has increasingly moved offstage into the creative sphere (principally as musical director) and playing in the orchestra pit.  It's thirteen years since I last appeared on stage and I'd come to believe I probably wouldn’t do so again.  However, recently, auditions were held for a play called The Physicists.  After attending the information night and giving it some thought, I decided that I should put myself through the audition process.  I sit on many audition panels myself, and it's very comfortable sitting back and watching others perform.  However, it's also good practice occasionally to remind yourself of how it feels to be on the other side of the table.  Despite some misgivings, I signed up to audition.  Given how rusty I feel and the amount of time that's lapsed since my last on-stage performance, I had zero expectations.  It would be enough to remind myself of the process.

When I entered the audition room, I was greeted by three friendly faces.  As the musical director of my company’s most recent musical production, Fiddler on the Roof, I had the pleasure of working with this play’s director, Bella.  She is warm, bubbly, friendly, and despite her youth, she has studied acting in a previous life.  Next to her on the audition panel was Marc, the man who played Tevye in Fiddler.  He is an accomplished actor, a brilliant vocalist, and a very experienced operator who has fulfilled many different creative roles in theatre.  The third panel member was a company stalwart, Bronnie, who has also fulfilled a wide range of different creative roles over the years and was there on this occasion as the “independent” to ensure the fairness and equity of the process.

I auditioned for a cameo role just for the sake of exercising some creative muscles.  After I'd read for this role, the panel requested me to do two more “cold reads” (unprepared auditions) for other major roles in the show.  Marc interacted with me, reading the other characters’ lines and suggesting some contrasting interpretations, which gave Bella the opportunity to watch and provide feedback.  The panel members were very kind and made the process fun.  It was better than I'd hoped for as a reintroduction to the daunting process of auditioning.

Later that night, I received a phone call from the play’s producer asking me to return the following morning for a callback audition.  I was shocked to receive this call, and even more shocked when I realised they were calling me back for the biggest female role in the show.  I had a page of dialogue to memorise overnight, which I duly did, and I turned up the next morning full of gratitude for their kindness in inviting me back.

The callback was intense!  We explored the material in a few different ways, and I was given several different challenges to deliver lines in contrasting ways, testing my ability to take direction.  On the final read, I was instructed to deliver the lines with rising intensity and to reach fever pitch during the final monologue akin to a rally at Nuremburg.  I was shaking when I left the room and my friends waiting outside let me know that they had heard me from inside the room.  I wasn’t convinced that I'd successfully delivered what the panel were looking for, but the whole process had been challenging and engaging.  I was really satisfied.  Receiving a callback was definitely more than I had hoped for.

Imagine my surprise the following evening when Bella rang me to tell me I’d been cast as the female lead!  In June, I'll be playing Dr Mathilde von Zahnde.  This character is the last of an ancient powerful family who have played a leading role in their society for centuries.  As a brilliant psychiatrist, industrialist and philanthropist, she owns and runs a ridiculously expensive sanatorium for mentally ill members of society’s most elite families.  The sanatorium is home to three physicists who all believe they are other people – specifically, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Johann Wilhelm Mobius.  The plot is complex and Dr von Zahnde’s role behind the scenes is revealed as the play concludes.  She is beneficent on the surface, but later revelations introduce a touch of the Bond villain.  What fun!

Apologies once again for my decreased activity on the site.  Busy as I am, I might be less prolific for the next few months than I had initially hoped or planned, but I promise I won’t disappear altogether!  :)