The In-between

"It's okay mom. I just have a visitor." E said.   

"Well, keep it quiet in there, you know I need my rest!" E's mom said.

"Okay mom, sorry we'll keep it down." E answered.

I removed my arm from her neck which she rubbed gently.

"You used me. You tried to turn me into a hooker."

My voice low, sent through clenched teeth just barely kept under control while shaking in anger.

"Are you some kind of boss or something?  How many others have you done this to?" I demanded.

"There's a few out there," she answered.

"But hey, I tried to help you out that's..." Then she saw the thunder rolling across my face.  Her voice just tapered off.

"Your gonna give me the cash you took using me," I said.

"I was gonna give it to you anyway, but you took..." Again her voiced tapered off. 

I held out my hand.

She sighed and reached for her bag. Producing two hundred dollars she handed it over to me. "By rights you should only get one hundred after last nights fiasco."

"Do you really want to go there with me?" I asked.

I was a foot taller than her and towered above her head to make my point. She just stood there, staring at me with Marty Feldman eyes.

Other than my stepfather and my mother, she's the only person I really wanted to punch!

"I'm going in the closet to get my bag."

I turned to retrieve it and quickly grabbed pants and a T-shirt. A fast change saw her pink outfit back in her hands.

"Look," I said to E. "I don't know what you're thinking doing this stuff, it can't be good. Maybe you should try something else before you get hurt or your mom finds out."

"I might not know much about anything but I know this crap makes me feel like shit." 

Again she just stared at me.

I shrugged picked up my bag and walked out the front door. My feet were terribly tired, I was thirsty and hungry. Two blocks back was a McDonald's, I made a B-line for it.

As I munched down on a burger and fries, I started to think about where I could go.

Family members were out.  My mother made sure of that. I let the angry tears slip down my face knowing I was out of options.

I considered the forest again but I quickly dismissed it. At best a forest stay was temporary.

I needed something permanent, something stable. Somewhere I didn't have to be afraid the rug would be pulled out from under me. 

With nowhere to go I headed back to the park where I'd met the homeless people that night.

I couldn't sit at McDonalds all day crying. My feet were sore too from putting on so many kilometers when I still hadn't slept the night before.

It was tough controlling my emotions when I was so physically tired. I stood up knowing that if I stayed put, I might have fallen asleep on their table.

Drying my eyes, I put my garbage in the bin and started for the park.

I was glad it was only two kilometers away as I'd had enough. Walking along slowly under the beautiful sun looking at the glory of the natural world, I wondered if human life could be beautiful too. What a thing that would be.

Entering the park, I headed down one of the smaller trails looking for a dry, off the path, spot so I could lay my head down. A few minutes later I walked off the path and into the tree line and walked about ten feet in.

A large cedar standing sentinal with great bent bows looked almost like a hug.

Crawling under, I was semi covered and surrounded in a fresh green scent. I pulled my jacket out of the bag and laid it on the ground. I almost collapsed on it but, managed to also pull out a sweater.  I wrapped it around my shoulders then curled up in a ball. The quiet of the forest came roaring in, while the tree enclosed me in beautiful cedar green.

I quickly fell into a deep slumber.

Blessedly free of dreams.