How do you love me? Let me count the ways.
You love me to the depth and breadth and height
My credit card can reach. When out of sight,
You satisfy your fevered shopping craze.

You love me to the level of every day's
Most urgent need, by morning, noon, and night.
You love me freely, though I feel your bite.
You love me purely, long as VISA pays.

You love me with a glow that puts to use
The evil talent of Lady MacBeth.
With tears or smiles, you heap on me abuse
Awaiting 'til I draw my final breath.
But I have had a lawyer friend produce
A will that leaves you out upon my death.