General Fiction posted September 8, 2023

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The matches begin

A chapter in the book Saving Mr. Calvin

Saving Mr. Calvin - Ch. 27/28A

by Jim Wile

Background
A story about the origin and the future of the game of golf

See Author Notes for the list of characters and unfamiliar terms.

Recap of the past few chapters: Kirk and Putt resume their house-building job the next day, and we learn the history of how the town of Foon came to be. Five years ago, Kirk, Putt, Aggie and their families had been living in Castasnogwary, but tiring of its ponderous ways, moved away and settled on an abandoned tract of land nearby and created their own town which they named Foon. The town has been growing and thriving ever since. Each year they hold an annual golf match with the “Snogs” as they call them. They are the “Foos.” When they return to the Bonnie Brae, Aggie serves them lunch and hints at a surprise to show them later.

The surprise turns out to be a new ball invented by Aggie made of boiled goose feathers stuffed tightly into a leather pouch and then sewn shut. It goes much farther than their older balls and will make a great weapon against the Snogs in their annual match. It is the Foos turn to set the rules of the match that will be held at the Foon Links, and Kirk, Aggie, and Putt plan the format of the matches to overcome the infernal slow play of the Snogs and which will reward their own much faster play.

The Snog captains come in 10 days and surprisingly accept the first three formats without question. Kirk and Putt then explain the “Fast Match” format which combines both speed and accuracy and are able to convince the Snog captains to accept it by using some mis-direction with their explanation of it. With the format of the matches agreed upon, the four plus Aggie enjoy lunch together.

Chapter 27

At 4:00 this afternoon, the team met on the first tee of the 12-hole Foon Links. All eight of us managed to make it, which was perfect because then Putt and I wouldn’t have to repeat what we planned to say.

I started off. “Team, Putt and I are happy to say that the Snog captains have agreed to all of our formats.” This was met with cheers, cries of “Well done, lads,” and many pats on the back. “Even the conversion of stroke-minutes to points came out favorably to us at 1 to 5. I have every confidence that our practice methods will enable us to win at least five points in this one event if we play well.”

One doubting-Thomas in the group asked us to repeat how we believed that we would have such an advantage in the different formats with our methods. We had been over this when the formats were introduced 11 days ago, but maybe they bore repeating so they could fully grasp the advantages Putt and I saw. Putt answered him now.

“I think the level of talent between the two teams is about the same,” he began, “but it is their incredibly slow pace, which has haunted us over the past few years, that has been the biggest difference accounting for their ability to beat us. You ken me and how I hate waiting for some slow-coach to hit his blinkin’ ball. Knocks me off my game, it does. They just take all the fun out of it. What we’ve devised is an attempt to lessen the amount of slow play so that we get less irritated and will be in a better frame of mind to win. We could not avoid preserving the individual matches, and we don’t expect to prevail in those. I just hope we can win a few. But because we have cut the number of balls being played in half with the Alternating Shot format, we should have a decent chance of at least winning half of those matches.”

One of the team members then asked, “So, what advantage do we gain with the Best-of-4 format when everyone will still hit each shot?”

“Good question,” Putt responded. “The idea here is to not waste the additional time looking for balls and playing from inferior lies, which take a lot more time for them to determine the best way to play them. When they all play from the best of their shots, presumably one with a good lie of the ball, it should go much quicker.”

I then added, “The real place where we will undoubtedly win many points will be in the Fast Match. The scheme we’ve been practicing and will continue to perfect this week plays to our strengths in the game and our speed. I guarantee you the Snogs will not come close to using anything like our methods to play fast, and they won’t see it coming when we can complete a round in 15 minutes or less.”

For the remainder of the week, we continued practicing, especially the Fast Match format, where we hoped to win most of our points. By the end of the week, the well-choreographed plan was set, and each player had their own set of instructions on exactly what to do and where to be for each of the 12 holes comprising the Foon Links. We were ready for the two-day matches that will begin tomorrow morning.

Chapter 28A

Aggie and I awoke around 6:00 AM and dressed in matching blouses and breeches—our team uniform. Aggie refuses to be confined by dresses or skirts when she plays, as does Catriona, the other woman on our team, so we all settled on light blue blouses over dark blue breeches. Aggie’s breeches were cinched in around her slim waist, but flared out nicely over her hips and bottom. Her blouse also fit rather tightly around her ample bust. She filled out her uniform quite tidily. I tied a braid in her long red hair for her so it hung down her back and would not be a distraction while she played. She may well be a distraction to her opponents, though.

We had prepared a couple of meat pies last night and baked them early this Saturday morning. We served ourselves a slice for breakfast and set the rest out on a table in the tavern with a sign saying that the overnight guests should help themselves, as we needed to be at the links by 8:00 AM.

During the week, we had prepared a schedule of the events that would take place this weekend, which looked like this:

5th Annual Castasnogwary-Foon Gowf Matches
Held this year of 1458
At the Foon Links of Foon, Scotland
On Saturday and Sunday, August 5 and 6

Saturday matches

Alternating shot: 4 matches of 2-man teams
(4 pts) Beginning at 9:00 AM

Best-of-4: 2 matches of 4-man teams
(4 pts) Beginning at 1:00 PM

Sunday matches

Singles matches: 8 individual matches

(8 pts) Beginning at 12:00 PM

Fast matches:          2 8-man timed matches
       (pts TBD)     Castasnogwary at 3:00 PM
                Foon at 4:00 PM

Putt made a big sign that looked just like this to post in the center of Foon. Ordinarily, he would have made one to be put up in Castasnogwary too, but we didn’t want to risk the king’s men seeing it, since gowf has been banned. But they never come to Foon, so we didn’t worry about ours. We also displayed one all week inside the Bonnie Brae and on a sign board outside next to the door to the tavern.

Aggie and I arrived at the links just after 8:00. Putt was already there, setting up the official scorer’s table and checking on a myriad of small details. He is very thorough, and I was confident he wouldn’t have forgotten anything.

Our team began arriving shortly after we got there and started warming up for the matches. In just a few minutes, the Snog team arrived in a large horse-drawn cart. Putt and I greeted them and went over the rules of the matches with their captains, Alex and Cameron, while their other team members warmed up with our team. Everyone knows everyone, and we get along reasonably well together, especially when not playing.

As we were warming up, the crowd began entering the links property—not only Foo folk but quite a few Snog folk too. Many of them crowded around the 1st tee to watch the opening tee shots. At exactly 9:00, Putt and I stood in the middle of the 1st tee and raised our arms for silence.

“Welcome all!” I began. “Welcome to the 5th Annual Gowf Matches between the teams from Castasnogwary and Foon. We have some new types of matches to be played this year, and we hope you will find them enjoyable to watch.”

Putt then took over. “The first event will be an alternating shot event in which the members of each 2-man team will play one ball between them and alternate hitting the shots. We ask only that you try to remain still and silent during the striking of the balls, unless you are encouraged to make some noise by the players. Cheering and applause afterwards is always encouraged.”

“We are ready to begin,” I said, “and the starter may now announce the first group.”

The starter was none other than Hamish MacLachlan, our resident tippler. He has a resonating, loud voice and makes a wonderful announcer when he’s sober enough, which we hoped he was at this hour.

“Our first group today,” shouted Hamish, “will be Kirk Pate and the lovely Aggie Lang from the Foo team versus Alexander MacGillycuddy and Muireadhach Androscoggin of the Snog team. Good luck, ladies and gentlemen; you may play away now.”

With much applause from the huge crowd, Aggie took to the tee. She would be hitting first on the odd-numbered holes, while I would take the even-numbered holes. This might be the largest crowd of the day to watch a tee shot, and she wanted to impress them with the length she got with her new feather ball. None of the Snogs had seen this ball in action yet.

She made a small cone of sand and placed her ball on it. Without taking a practice swing, she just stepped up to her ball and struck a shot that was pure barry. The ball sailed high and far and came down in the short grass 190 ells away. The crowd roared its approval.

Alex gaped at the shot in amazement and said to her, “My goodness, Agrawinnia, how you have improved! That was a braw drive if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Thank you, dear friend. I’m sure you’ll be able to top it, though.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” He teed his ball up then and hit a good shot—not his best, however—and it came down 20 ells behind Aggie’s ball. “See what I mean?”

We were off for the first match of the day.

Much of the crowd followed our group, especially the men. Aggie looked very fetching in her tight blouse and snug breeches, and I’m sure this was the main reason. There is also something very appealing about a slim, young girl with a marvelous swing who can drive a ball such a long distance. With her new ball, she was consistently as long or longer than Alex, who also teed off on the odd-numbered holes. Aggie and I got a nice rhythm going (as we so often did in other ways) with the alternating shot scheme and kept our shots out of trouble for each other.

Alex is relatively fast for a Snog, although his partner, Muireadhach, plays like a typical Snog, often taking two or three practice swings and 30 seconds to aim his shots, not to mention seven or eight waggles of the club head before striking his ball. Rather than watch this nonsense, Aggie and I took to looking each other in the eyes and making silent cracks about it to each other. It was fun trying to figure out what the other was saying just by reading lips. Some of the things said were very naughty, but it made it a lot more fun than watching Muireadhach play and kept us in a light-hearted mood.

We won this match 3-and-2 on the 10th hole. A very good start to the day. Being the first group out and finishing after only 10 holes, Aggie and I joined the gallery to root our other team members on.

Playing behind us were Putt and his partner, Catriona Clark, whom we all call Cat, and we joined their gallery. They were also doing well and ended up winning their match 2-up on the 12th hole. Unfortunately, we lost both of the remaining two matches, so at the end of the morning rounds, the total was even at 2 points to each team. This was about what we expected the result to be.

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Scottish words

tidy: beautiful
gowf: early term for golf
links: golf course by the sea
ell: unit of measure equal to about a yard (37 inches)
pure barry: utterly fantastic
ken: know
braw: brilliant, fantastic

CHARACTERS - 1458 Scotland

Kirk Pate: A 22-year-old house builder and part time soldier from Foon. He is the narrator of this part of the story.

Putney Pell (Putt): Kirk's best friend and business partner in Foon and a fellow soldier

Alex MacGillycuddy: Kirk and Putt's childhood friend who lives in the nearby town of Castasnogwary and is a fellow soldier

Aggie Lang: Kirk's 22-year-old fiance. She runs the Bonnie Brae Inn and Tavern owned by her father

Jack and Isla Lang: Aggie's younger siblings

Hamish MacLachlan: The Bonnie Brae's resident tippler

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The matches begin

A chapter in the book Saving Mr. Calvin

Saving Mr. Calvin - Ch. 27/28A

by Jim Wile

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