Planteration

He saw the fat pig with his wife and they weren't having a philosophical discussion about the meaning of nudity. “How could she possibly want this guy?” Danny wondered, with a smirk. OK, he was rich and funny but he was also married so there couldn't be any future in it for her. It's true I haven't been paying attention to her lately. I admit that.  The eating competition was coming up in Vegas in three days and the grand prize was a trip to London for two. Didn't  she understand that he was doing this for them both? She always complained about the lack of adventure in their lives so he was doing something about it.  He loved her and he did not want to lose her. In high school they were known as the golden couple. Yes, Danny and Leah were high school sweethearts who married young and life hasn't exactly turned out the way they had expected.

 “I have to do something about this guy,” he thought.  But how? He had to keep his cool and not let on about what he saw when he stood outside the window of room 6 at that motel. He felt ashamed of himself for spying and even terrified about what he might see but he had to know the truth.  Well, now he knows. He knew what he had to do. But how?  What a gift he was handed that evening when he returned home to hear Leah tell him that she “ran into” Jake Morton that afternoon at the super and he told her that he was also a contestant in the Vegas competition. He was stocking up on ground beef for training.

 Danny wanted to jump and shout for joy but he just shrugged his shoulders.  You see, Danny had already decided to be murderous and now his plan was falling into place. He was also in training for this eating competition, so he settled down to eat six half-pounder hamburgers, an extra large serving of fries and finished off with a half gallon of Neapolitan ice cream. He was determined to be able to have a very healthy appetite for that competition. He also wanted Jake to eat his share.  Leah watched him eat with amazement. “How can you do that?" she asked.  “ It's necessary, " Danny answered, "if I'm going to win that grand prize I have to be able to eat more than the other ten men in the competition.” 

Now that Leah announced that thrilling piece of information, he just had to plan the details.  He had three days to do it.  Next morning, Danny visited the local gardening center and purchased just a small quantity of organophosphates, explaining to the salesperson that he had to take really extreme action or the pests were going to take over his beautiful garden.  Driving home he began to feel a surge of excitement as he planned to rid himself of the biggest, fattest pest he knew.  

The evening of the competition finally arrived and after settling Leah in a ringside seat he went backstage to greet his fellow contestants. Then he spotted Jake, joking and laughing with that overconfident demeanor that Danny hated.  Jake had no idea what was coming. It was finally time to start and everyone took a seat at the long table on the stage. Danny positioned himself to sit right next to Jake and announced, “ May the best man win”, with a smile.  

It was actually easier than Danny thought it would be to distract Jake long enough to get a teaspoon of the pesticide onto his plate. It blended well with the chili.  The bell sounded and the eating began.  Danny wondered how long it would take for the poison to begin its work.  It seemed like forever before, with the fourth plate of food,  he noticed that Jake was  slouching in his chair and then slowly slid onto the floor. With this there was a symphony of gasps and an uproar in the room from the large audience.  “Is there a doctor in the house” was called and sure enough, one appeared and examined the beached whale. Looking up, the doctor slowly shook his head. Jake was gone.  The competition ended.

Danny arrived home from work the next evening to find Leah in a very animated conversation with her friend, Ellie, the professional gossip.  The group who held the competition decided to award the grand prize to the contestant who had eaten the most plates of food before the premature ending.

The lucky winner was Dennis Monahan. “ And you’ll never guess who he is taking with him to London, " said Ellie.

 “Jake Morton’s widow.”