| General Non-Fiction posted April 11, 2023 |
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New carpet has it's own challenges
Two Men and A Boy
by T B Botts
Jan asked me to vacuum the living room floor yesterday, she said she can't do it. Really? You can't vacuum the carpet? Of course I didn't say that out loud, I'm not stupid. I know that she's on the weak side, but this is ridiculous. I soon found out she wasn't kidding. I started pushing the vacuum and was breaking out in a sweat. I was about ready to go get a dog sled team to clean our floor.
Last year we installed new carpet in the living room. We opted for the higher quality pad, extra thick or some such thing, not realizing that for as comfortable as it was to walk on, cleaning it was going to take two men and a boy. Holy cats! I damn near got a hernia. I can imagine going to the doctor and when he asked what I had been doing that was so strenuous, I had to explain I was vacuuming the carpet. I'd probably be laughed right out of the office.
I think a new sport should be introduced for the Olympics- carpet cleaning. It would really separate the men from the boys. If you got a gold medal in vacuuming, you were really an athlete extraordinaire.
I'm glad our living room isn't any larger. Had it been, I'd be forced to put a fence around it and just look at it. There's no way I'd ever have the energy to get it clean.
I think the merchants who sell carpeting should have a sample of the various grades glued to the floor with a good quality vacuum cleaner nearby so customers don't get in over their heads. Maybe there should be a doctor on standby just to see if the prospective buyers are in good enough shape to own a particular type of flooring.
"I'm sorry sir, but that's our top of the line model, and frankly, you're too wimpy to own this unless you hire a body builder to come in once a week and clean it for you. Perhaps a lesser grade would be more in line for you." How humiliating.
It could start a whole new industry- Hooverites; guys who specialized in vacuuming thick carpets. One thing is certain, I'd never make the grade. I had to take a break after my bout with the vacuum. Who knew that staying tidy could be such a chore?
Last year we installed new carpet in the living room. We opted for the higher quality pad, extra thick or some such thing, not realizing that for as comfortable as it was to walk on, cleaning it was going to take two men and a boy. Holy cats! I damn near got a hernia. I can imagine going to the doctor and when he asked what I had been doing that was so strenuous, I had to explain I was vacuuming the carpet. I'd probably be laughed right out of the office.
I think a new sport should be introduced for the Olympics- carpet cleaning. It would really separate the men from the boys. If you got a gold medal in vacuuming, you were really an athlete extraordinaire.
I'm glad our living room isn't any larger. Had it been, I'd be forced to put a fence around it and just look at it. There's no way I'd ever have the energy to get it clean.
I think the merchants who sell carpeting should have a sample of the various grades glued to the floor with a good quality vacuum cleaner nearby so customers don't get in over their heads. Maybe there should be a doctor on standby just to see if the prospective buyers are in good enough shape to own a particular type of flooring.
"I'm sorry sir, but that's our top of the line model, and frankly, you're too wimpy to own this unless you hire a body builder to come in once a week and clean it for you. Perhaps a lesser grade would be more in line for you." How humiliating.
It could start a whole new industry- Hooverites; guys who specialized in vacuuming thick carpets. One thing is certain, I'd never make the grade. I had to take a break after my bout with the vacuum. Who knew that staying tidy could be such a chore?
 Recognized |
#30 April 2023 |
I wish I could say I was making this up. I don't know if I'm getting extra wimpy in my old age or if the vacuum was of such superior quality that I could use it to anchor myself in the case of a tornado.
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one point
and 2 member cents. Artwork by meg119 at FanArtReview.com
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