| General Fiction posted April 10, 2023 | Chapters: |
...5 6 -7- 8... 
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Aftermath of the match
A chapter in the book Lucky Eddie
Lucky Eddie - Chapter 7
by Jim Wile
| Background Two young men meet as opponents during the finals of the golf club championship and soon become lifelong best friends. It is their great friendship that helps them navigate many of life's challenges. |
(See the Author Notes for the definition of any golf terminology used as well as a description of the main characters.)
Recap: Eddie arranges a match with he and Kenny against two prospective members of the club. Kenny is reluctant because he senses they are hustlers, but Eddie, knowing they are hustlers, has plans of his own to hustle them.
They begin the match the following day, and the bet is $2,000. By the end of the third hole, the match is even. By the end of the ninth hole, Kenny and Eddie are 3-down and Eddie assures a doubting Kenny and Abby that it’s going according to plan. Eddie spikes a coke to give to E.J. who is caddying for his opponents in hopes he will start screwing up and costing his opponents some holes. On the 10th hole, Eddie fakes a sprained ankle and convinces the opponents to let Kenny hit all the long shots and he would just putt on the remainder of holes. They agree.
They start their comeback as Eddie sinks putt after putt and Kenny continues with his great shot-making. After accepting Eddie’s proffered flask of rum and downing it, E.J. begins messing up and costs Fairbanks and Welborn a hole. The match is now even with three holes to go. Kenny and Eddie win the 16th when E.J. steps on Fairbanks’s ball causing him a penalty, and Fairbanks fires him on the spot. Fairbanks and Welborn win the 17th, so the match is all even going into the 18th hole. Eddie asks the opponents if they’d like to double the bet to $4,000, and the opponents accept. In a dramatic finish, Eddie sinks a very difficult downhill-sidehill putt to win the match, and the boys collect their $4,000.
A continuation of the chapter: The Hustle
Gary was waiting for us by the bag rack outside the pro shop. E.J. was there too, grinning like an idiot. Gary had filled him in on the final three holes of the match.
“Great job today, fellas!” said Eddie as he handed each of them a $100 bill. “Now, the flask, E.J? I never did get that back from you in all the hubbub there on 16.”
E.J. reached into his back pocket, pulled it out, and handed it to Eddie but playfully hung onto it while Eddie tried to take it from him. “Pretty good stuff there, Eddie.”
We thanked them for their efforts again and headed over to the snack bar to find Abby. It was a slow afternoon at the snack bar because most of the play was in the morning, and we found Abby sitting behind the counter reading a book.
“Well?” she said as we walked up. I gave her a thumbs-up and began smiling from ear to ear.
“Never a doubt, Red, never a doubt!” bragged Eddie. She came out from behind the counter then and embraced us in a group hug.
“Alright, you’ve got to tell me all about it, but first things first,” she said as she went back behind the counter and got Eddie and me a couple of beers. She returned with the beers, and we all sat down at a table and began telling her the story of the match.
She shook her head, smiling, as I related how Eddie had gotten E.J. drunk with the spiked Coke and then the straight-up rum from the hip flask. We all laughed as we told her how E.J. had screwed up and ended up losing two holes for Fairbanks. Eddie did a great impersonation of Fairbanks cursing E.J. out and firing him on the 16th and E.J. straightening his jacket and staggering back to the clubhouse.
“You know, I feel kind of bad for E.J. for using him like that,” I said. “But it was awfully funny!”
Abby wanted to see Eddie’s “sprained” ankle, so he pulled up his pant leg and lowered his sock and showed it to her. She was impressed with how real it looked. When Eddie got to telling her about the 18th hole, I stopped him with a question of my own.
“Eddie, how did you read that putt so well? It looked like you were aiming way too far left. That read was incredible.”
“I knew that putt ‘cause I had tried it already early this morning. Around 7:00 AM I went and found the greenskeeper and bribed him to cut the cup in front and roll the front of the green to make it extra slick in case the match came down to the 18th. I spent the next half-hour practicing putts from all directions on that lower shelf.”
I was amazed at the levels to which he had gone to prepare for this match and told him so. When we got to the part about the payoff, I pulled out my wallet and showed Abby the twenty $100 dollar bills. “Eddie’s got twenty more.”
“You don’t suppose they are counterfeit, do you?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t put it past those guys, but I don’t think so,” said Eddie. “They’re assholes looking for easy marks, but I don’t think they want to risk getting in trouble with the law. I guess we’ll find out when we try to deposit them in the bank.”
Abby had another customer then, so we said goodbye. I told her I would see her later, then Eddie and I made our way to the locker room, where we showered and changed clothes.
As we were leaving, Morton O’Connell, the club president, came walking quickly down the hall behind us. “Mr. Phillips, hold on there for a moment.”
“Uh-oh. Here comes trouble,” Eddie whispered to me. We turned around, and Eddie said, “Hey Morty, how’s it--”
But Morty cut him off. “Mr. Phillips, I have it on good authority that you are responsible for that explosion in the locker room earlier this morning. What do you have to say to that?”
“It was a real beauty! My friend Kenny here needed a little, uh, waking up. I made sure there was nobody else in there at the time.”
“That makes no difference. Pranks like that will not be tolerated at this establishment. Your indifference to the rules of decorum here at Brentwood leaves me with no choice but to revoke your membership. This was the last straw. You will kindly clear out your locker and retrieve your clubs from the bag room!” With that, Morty stormed back the way he had come.
Eddie looked at me and shrugged. “Well, Sport, it was great while it lasted.”
“Ah, Eddie, jeez! It’s not going to be nearly as much fun around here if you’re not here.”
“You’ll manage, Sport. We’ll just have to play together elsewhere.”
We walked back into the locker room then, and the attendant found us a box to put Eddie’s locker contents in. Eddie tipped him a twenty and wished him good luck, and we made our way to the bag room to retrieve his clubs. In the pro shop afterward, Eddie said goodbye to Tony, who shook his hand and wished him well after pocketing his $50 tip. I carried his clubs to his car while he carried the box from the locker room.
We put his stuff in the trunk of his car, and then we just stood there in the parking lot grinning at each other. “Quite a day, huh Sport?”
“You said it, Eddie.”
“So listen, Kenny. I know Abby’s going back to school next week, so suppose you come over to my place some evening after she’s gone, and we get back to work on those putter designs? Whaddaya say?”
“That's great, Eddie. I’ll come over on Thursday, maybe around 7:00?”
We shook hands then and said our goodbyes. As I drove off, I looked at him in my rearview mirror. He was standing in the parking lot facing the clubhouse with his arms raised and the middle finger of each hand pointing to the sky.
To be continued...
Kenny Payne: The narrator of the story. He is a mechanical engineer who recently graduated from college and joined Brentwood Country Club where he meets Eddie in the finals of the Club Championship. He and Eddie become best friends.
Eddie Phillips: Described by Kenny as the loudest, most flamboyant, often obnoxious person and the kind you either loved or hated, who he had ever met. He is known for his phenomenal luck and his extreme prowess in putting.
Abby St. Claire: Introduced to Kenny by Eddie, she works at the snack bar and as a waitress at the club for a summer job while she finishes college. She is a smart and beautiful redhead who Kenny falls in love with and eventually marries.
E.J. Budrowski: A notoriously bad caddie who has a problem with alcohol. He caddies for Fairbanks and Welborn during the money match.
Gary Latz: The caddie for Kenny and Eddie during the match.
Morton O'Connell: The club president at Brentwood Country Club.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Eddie Phillips: Described by Kenny as the loudest, most flamboyant, often obnoxious person and the kind you either loved or hated, who he had ever met. He is known for his phenomenal luck and his extreme prowess in putting.
Abby St. Claire: Introduced to Kenny by Eddie, she works at the snack bar and as a waitress at the club for a summer job while she finishes college. She is a smart and beautiful redhead who Kenny falls in love with and eventually marries.
E.J. Budrowski: A notoriously bad caddie who has a problem with alcohol. He caddies for Fairbanks and Welborn during the money match.
Gary Latz: The caddie for Kenny and Eddie during the match.
Morton O'Connell: The club president at Brentwood Country Club.
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