This is one of the two times I told you about when I reported someone to the school instead of handling it myself.  Not bad for fifteen years of driving and substitute teaching.  It was when I was substituting in gym class.  The assignment was to go out and play ball.  One boy kept swinging his bat while he waited to be up, and it was going to hit someone.  I told him to stop, and he didn’t.  Finally, I asked him to give me that bat, and when I reached for it, he looked me in the eye and dropped it.  He did this a couple of times until I told him to put the bat in my hand.  Now.  He pulled it back as if he was going to hit me, but he did give it to me.  I could see it in his eyes how badly he wanted to hit me.  When I reported him, he was suspended for a week.  He was a senior, and I knew he wouldn’t be able to graduate with his classmates, plus he’d never return to school the next year.

I spent hours calling the principal.  I kept telling him if I wasn’t that upset about it, he shouldn’t be, and that boy would not finish school.  In the end, the boy wasn’t  suspended, thank goodness, and he graduated.  He told my son years later that he wouldn’t have gone back to school had he been suspended.

Once I substituted in a first grade class.  Never again!  One little boy with the most annoying, whiney voice would say, “Teeee-cher, that’s not the way Miss --- does it.”  If he said it once, he said a dozen times.  I’m not a big fan of small children in groups.  They can overwhelm me in a flash.  I never got used to the little girls going to the restroom in groups.  When I checked a stall once, there were seven in there!  They thought it was normal and did it all the time.

Later, I subbed in a sixth grade class.  When I went in the room, one boy told me they would give me a run for my money.  I responded that “they don’t grow ‘em that bad.”  I was wrong.  By 10:30 a.m., I couldn’t remember ever having been out of that room.  That was it for middle school.

I loved subbing in the high school.  Especially any boys’ group.  Girls can be tricky.  I once told a girl very nicely to get her book out and get prepared.  Forty years later, whenever I see her, she still gives me that look – “Eat death, sister.”  Getting along with the boys was always easy for me.  I guess because I had all boys, and being a bit of a tomboy myself, I could relate to them better.  If you have differences with a boy, it’s all over in a minute and no grudges held.  Girls can hold a grudge into eternity. 

All in all, I enjoyed substitute teaching, but I’d rather be driving the school bus.

I was asked to teach a GED class at a drug rehab center, and that was certainly interesting.  I found them all to be eager to achieve that diploma.  They were fun, too.  We were covering weights, and when they got them all right, one man said I “should have known a bunch of drug addicts” would get that one right.  His words.  That was funny.  However, what wasn’t funny was one boy who had graduated from high school and couldn’t read.  I couldn’t believe it!  It was sad because he wanted so badly to learn everything I offered.  I called his school and asked how in the world they let out a student who couldn’t read.  The answer?  No child left behind.  I found him a tutor, and the last thing I heard from him, he was doing very well.

As with my school bus discipline, I expected the same in the classroom.  And got it.  I think it was because I was so much smaller than they were, and they felt sorry for the little freak.  Hahahaha.  Really, it was because they never knew when I might go berserk and throttle one of them.  Whatever the reason, I enjoyed it, but not as much as driving the bus.

I shouldn’t tell this on myself, but here goes.  After teaching one day, I went to my car and discovered my keys were locked inside and the windows were up.  The shop teacher came out to help and coat-hangered the button up on the passenger side.  I collected my keys and went around to get in the driver’s seat, only to discover that window was down.  I never told anyone until now.

Senior students could leave the campus for lunch if accompanied by an adult.  Did you know you can pack nine teenage boys into a Chevy Chevette?

I didn’t have as many adventures in the classroom as I did on the bus.