| General Fiction posted February 1, 2023 | Chapters: |
...40 41 -42- 43... 
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a short story
A chapter in the book Random Rhyme and Petty Prose
Hot Potato Hand Grenades
by Bill Schott
The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
OoAh O'brian, local National Guardsman, had taken the steps, rather than using the ski lift, to get to the top of the Bunny Slope at the Mount Holly Ski Resort.
Once there, he saw Agnus, a housewife, skis attached to where her feet used to be. He recalls reading she had been hobbled at the Chainsaw Chase, having had both feet severed by a dying blow from a competitor.
Standing next to her was Love Boat, the professional rowboat escort, and JoJo, former doormat to the world. The pair had been surgically attached at the hips and appeared to be the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum of the game.
Those two stood beside an electronic sign which read:
HOT POTATO HAND GRENADES!!
Mount Holly Bunny Slope
Begins at 6 a.m.
Ends when the last grenade explodes.
On the other side of the sign was Illinois Smith, a professional metal-on-the-beach finder. He stood next to Kaleidoscope and Nevermore, a salt-and-pepper couple who were, of course, wearing salt-and-pepper shaker costumes.
Instructions had been delivered at the bottom of the hill. The Potato Passers would leave together on the downhill race. Meanwhile, each would ski next to another contestant and both would have to exchange grenades by throwing and catching each other's. All participants would have to exchange grenades at least once on the way down the slope. Only one grenade was a dud, all others would explode within five seconds of having the fuse ignited.
Once at the bottom, the grenade which each player held would have the pin pulled. The grenade would then be tossed to someone else, who was obligated to catch it.
Having accomplished that, all skiers would speed away from the crowd and receive their fate.
A whistle was blown and all participants began the downhill descent.
OoAh moved close to Agnus and tossed his grenade. She caught it while throwing hers behind her back making the guardsman lean back to catch it. He fell back and then began tumbling down the hill.
JoJo and Love Boat simply juggled their two grenades between each other as they careened downward.
Illinois Smith slid over to the couple dressed like seasonings and tossed his grenade to them. Kaleidoscope caught it, then both she and Nevermore threw theirs back to him. Smith, not knowing what else to do, caught both.
The bottom of the hill arrived quickly, and each player pulled his/her pin or pins, and then raced off in opposite directions.
The first grenade to ignite was the one shared by Kaleidoscope and Nevermore. Salt and pepper went everywhere.
Smith's grenades went next; one after the other. Bystanders agreed that one did the job. The second was loud but essentially unaffecting.
OoAh O'brian's grenade blew, and the guardsman was dismissed.
While Agnus held her grenade, it occurred to her that the idea should have been that only one grenade would be live, and the others duds. Her thoughts joined the rest of her body parts on the snow.
Jo Jo and Love Boat realized that one of them had won. After the explosion, the dud was found in Jo Jo's hand; which was eventually found.
Having no one to collect the grand prize of free lunch at the food kitchen, it was donated to others less --uh -- more fortunate.
OoAh O'brian, local National Guardsman, had taken the steps, rather than using the ski lift, to get to the top of the Bunny Slope at the Mount Holly Ski Resort.
Once there, he saw Agnus, a housewife, skis attached to where her feet used to be. He recalls reading she had been hobbled at the Chainsaw Chase, having had both feet severed by a dying blow from a competitor.
Standing next to her was Love Boat, the professional rowboat escort, and JoJo, former doormat to the world. The pair had been surgically attached at the hips and appeared to be the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum of the game.
Those two stood beside an electronic sign which read:
HOT POTATO HAND GRENADES!!
Mount Holly Bunny Slope
Begins at 6 a.m.
Ends when the last grenade explodes.
On the other side of the sign was Illinois Smith, a professional metal-on-the-beach finder. He stood next to Kaleidoscope and Nevermore, a salt-and-pepper couple who were, of course, wearing salt-and-pepper shaker costumes.
Instructions had been delivered at the bottom of the hill. The Potato Passers would leave together on the downhill race. Meanwhile, each would ski next to another contestant and both would have to exchange grenades by throwing and catching each other's. All participants would have to exchange grenades at least once on the way down the slope. Only one grenade was a dud, all others would explode within five seconds of having the fuse ignited.
Once at the bottom, the grenade which each player held would have the pin pulled. The grenade would then be tossed to someone else, who was obligated to catch it.
Having accomplished that, all skiers would speed away from the crowd and receive their fate.
A whistle was blown and all participants began the downhill descent.
OoAh moved close to Agnus and tossed his grenade. She caught it while throwing hers behind her back making the guardsman lean back to catch it. He fell back and then began tumbling down the hill.
JoJo and Love Boat simply juggled their two grenades between each other as they careened downward.
Illinois Smith slid over to the couple dressed like seasonings and tossed his grenade to them. Kaleidoscope caught it, then both she and Nevermore threw theirs back to him. Smith, not knowing what else to do, caught both.
The bottom of the hill arrived quickly, and each player pulled his/her pin or pins, and then raced off in opposite directions.
The first grenade to ignite was the one shared by Kaleidoscope and Nevermore. Salt and pepper went everywhere.
Smith's grenades went next; one after the other. Bystanders agreed that one did the job. The second was loud but essentially unaffecting.
OoAh O'brian's grenade blew, and the guardsman was dismissed.
While Agnus held her grenade, it occurred to her that the idea should have been that only one grenade would be live, and the others duds. Her thoughts joined the rest of her body parts on the snow.
Jo Jo and Love Boat realized that one of them had won. After the explosion, the dud was found in Jo Jo's hand; which was eventually found.
Having no one to collect the grand prize of free lunch at the food kitchen, it was donated to others less --uh -- more fortunate.
Once there, he saw Agnus, a housewife, skis attached to where her feet used to be. He recalls reading she had been hobbled at the Chainsaw Chase, having had both feet severed by a dying blow from a competitor.
Standing next to her was Love Boat, the professional rowboat escort, and JoJo, former doormat to the world. The pair had been surgically attached at the hips and appeared to be the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum of the game.
Those two stood beside an electronic sign which read:
HOT POTATO HAND GRENADES!!
Mount Holly Bunny Slope
Begins at 6 a.m.
Ends when the last grenade explodes.
On the other side of the sign was Illinois Smith, a professional metal-on-the-beach finder. He stood next to Kaleidoscope and Nevermore, a salt-and-pepper couple who were, of course, wearing salt-and-pepper shaker costumes.
Instructions had been delivered at the bottom of the hill. The Potato Passers would leave together on the downhill race. Meanwhile, each would ski next to another contestant and both would have to exchange grenades by throwing and catching each other's. All participants would have to exchange grenades at least once on the way down the slope. Only one grenade was a dud, all others would explode within five seconds of having the fuse ignited.
Once at the bottom, the grenade which each player held would have the pin pulled. The grenade would then be tossed to someone else, who was obligated to catch it.
Having accomplished that, all skiers would speed away from the crowd and receive their fate.
A whistle was blown and all participants began the downhill descent.
OoAh moved close to Agnus and tossed his grenade. She caught it while throwing hers behind her back making the guardsman lean back to catch it. He fell back and then began tumbling down the hill.
JoJo and Love Boat simply juggled their two grenades between each other as they careened downward.
Illinois Smith slid over to the couple dressed like seasonings and tossed his grenade to them. Kaleidoscope caught it, then both she and Nevermore threw theirs back to him. Smith, not knowing what else to do, caught both.
The bottom of the hill arrived quickly, and each player pulled his/her pin or pins, and then raced off in opposite directions.
The first grenade to ignite was the one shared by Kaleidoscope and Nevermore. Salt and pepper went everywhere.
Smith's grenades went next; one after the other. Bystanders agreed that one did the job. The second was loud but essentially unaffecting.
OoAh O'brian's grenade blew, and the guardsman was dismissed.
While Agnus held her grenade, it occurred to her that the idea should have been that only one grenade would be live, and the others duds. Her thoughts joined the rest of her body parts on the snow.
Jo Jo and Love Boat realized that one of them had won. After the explosion, the dud was found in Jo Jo's hand; which was eventually found.
Having no one to collect the grand prize of free lunch at the food kitchen, it was donated to others less --uh -- more fortunate.
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