As I lie in bed next to the woman of my dreams whom I married nearly fifty years ago, I watch the morning sunrise through the gallery windows of our bedroom and reach for her hand, feeling the warmth of her body, and notice a smile form on her lips.

I think of the frailness of my body, ravaged by several heart attacks, some memory loss, and the effects of Type 2 Diabetes, as tears form in my eyes, knowing I will not last much longer, and realize my beautiful wife will soon have to endure life alone once I pass. I kiss her hand and hold it tightly.

I want her to know that I am forever grateful to her for standing by me throughout everything we have endured. With all the wonderful times and prosperity we experienced, there were also the times of despair and poverty we had to endure, but we did it together unbegrudgingly.

My thoughts consume me, and I realize I never really apologized to her for having been away for such extended periods of time working overseas so that we could build the lifestyle we enjoyed, and for the extra burden it placed on her having to play the role of both mom and dad to our daughters, along with all the milestones in our daughters lives that I missed being away.

As I lie here and tears begin to form, I finally understand that, although it's what I had to do to support my family, I lost so much time not being there, time I will never get back, and memories I will never be able to share with them.

Overwhelmed for the first time in my life, I am afraid of what the future will bring, not for me, but for what she will have to endure alone. I am confident that my daughters will step in and be there for their mom, but I know she will have a huge void being alone for the first time in over fifty years.

My thoughts become cloudy, and I remember my girls saying something about a guy named Al Zeimer, and I wonder who he is. Is my wife planning to move on when I die or is he just another Doctor I must start seeing. Confused, I refocus on my wife who opens her eyes as her smile gets wider.

When she says: "Good morning handsome," I smile, roll over and kiss her lips, realizing that no matter what eventually happens, I have had a wonderful life, and cherish these final days with her. I could not have chosen a better life partner and feel grateful and extremely blessed.