| Humor Fiction posted November 29, 2021 |
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Mama doesn't always get my sense of humour
Funny thing, that ...!
by Wendy G
You're asking about the funny things pets do? Well, Mama and I don't always agree on what is funny. But what do you expect? She's only human ….
For example, I find it quite humorous, when we are getting ready to go for a walk, to do a little dance while Mama tries to put my harness on. I bounce and prance until she says, "So you don't want to go for a walk today?" That's when I stop being funny and sit perfectly still. Mama has no sense of humour!
When we go for a walk I like to start at a gallop, or at least a fast canter. Mama can hardly keep up. I am showing her my enthusiasm for walking, but she frequently reminds me that she is not as young as she used to be! Isn't that a silly thing to say?! Nobody is as young as they used to be! Not even me.
The neighbours generally have some humorous comment to make as we fly past! Mama tries to run fast, her arm with the leash is stretched right out, her hair is blowing out behind … quite a funny sight! To me, anyway! After a few hundred metres I take pity on her and slow down a bit. That's my little bit of humour.
I like to sniff at the gates of various dogs I know, and then hurry past. By the time they realise that I was there, I have moved on. They must be quite slow at processing information. I can hear their owners yelling at them to stop barking about nothing. Quite funny really.
She finds things funny that I don't. For example, she laughs at me when we are out walking, and I stop to stare at humans, with my mouth open - I can't help that. I am smiling!
Humans are quite fascinating, the things they do to amuse themselves. I learn a lot.
Today I stopped in my tracks to watch a man repairing his roof. We have had a lot of rain lately. Mama would have just continued walking – but, firstly, how does one learn to repair a roof if one never watches to see how it is done? So I stopped and watched. Of course I know that no-one is likely to ask me to repair a roof, because I am "only" a dog. But at least the man knew I was interested.
Secondly, it allows me a little time to imagine the back story. The rain came into the house – what did they do? Use buckets to collect the drips? Wear raincoats inside? Did their dinner get wet? Or their beds? I need time to think over all the possibilities … I am creative. I will keep such scenarios stored away for possible future stories!
I also stopped to watch a man fixing his lawn-mower. Such information could be useful one day. It suddenly sprang to life, and gave me a big fright! I jumped about a foot into the air! Mama, of course, found that highly amusing.
Mama says that I am unnecessarily fearful of objects placed on the footpath for Council to remove. Some are discarded toys, some are strange things that humans use that I can't identify. But these "things" sometimes crouch low and are weird shapes, so I growl fiercely at them, and if I am really concerned, I will prance around them, then leap at them and bark. It's my warning to them.
Today I played the staring game with two cats in turn. I stared until one ran off, did the same with the other, then the first came back … and so my game continued. I beat them both, and it was fun – but of course Mama said to just let them be. Where's the fun in that?
I have already told you about my special tree. It is the same as about a hundred others in that park, but to me it is special on account of a treat I found there once. However today, I decided to expand my horizons. Mama always says we should go different ways on our walks.
Usually I just dig my heels in and refuse to walk if she wants to do anything different. After trying to drag me (and not succeeding, and then saying that it doesn't look good to drag a dog!) we always end up doing what I want. So, today, I made a sharp left turn at my tree and we walked down a quite steep hill. Mama was pleased - we were going a different way. That is, until we needed to go back up the hill to go home. Muttering and grumbling! I laughed to myself. Maybe she won't want to try new routes again!
There is another thing which I find incredibly funny, an indoor activity. Mama sits at her computer, which means I am sorely neglected, unless I make her pick me up so I can edit what she is writing. Of course she will then say that I am saying the wrong thing or not spelling words correctly.
So I generally lie on my pillow beside her. But I am still very alert. Sometimes my nose indicates that a dog may be going for a walk down "our" street. So I let out my best, sharpest and loudest shrill bark. It is fun to see how high she jumps. Sometimes I do it just for fun, even if there is no dog there. Sometimes I do it to warn off birds invading our back yard air space. I can always find a good reason. Poor Mama! The more engrossed she is, the higher she jumps. Great fun!
Mama always wishes me sweet dreams, and apparently enjoys when I am dreaming about chasing things. She says I give little yaps, and my little legs are running on the spot. I don't know why that's funny, but she assures me it is!
She says that the funniest thing for her is when I do "zoomies" around the back yard, with my toys. I can do loops, 180 degree turns, figures of eight, I can skid, swerve and come to a screeching halt, all the while throwing and catching my toys, or dropping them and then swooping them up as I fly past on my return trip. She laughs a lot at those times. I like making her laugh.
However, soon I will have to start acting my age. My birthday is tomorrow and I will be seven! She says that that is middle-aged for a dog. To me age is only a number, and her number is much higher. That's why I try to keep us both fit by running on our walks. That's also why I try to make her laugh, so she doesn't get wrinkles, only laugh lines.
Thank you for reading. I hope your pets also do funny things to make you laugh. Laugh lines are apparently a good thing to have, but wrinkles are not. Wrinkles just sneak up and settle on faces, but laugh lines show a life well lived. That's what Mama says.
Best wishes for Christmas, in case I am too busy to write again before then.
Sunny
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