A Decade On
Anniversary poem for a friend's departed son.16 total reviews
Comment from LG Wolfe
I write this in tears, having saved it and read it a few times now. This is a poem of the kind of beauty that it should be read aloud to be fully appreciated. I wonder if you read it to his parents when you gave it to them.
Wishing on a star made sense for the poem before I read your notes, but was far more poignant after reading them. I know the parents will treasure every single, loving word of this incredible gift.
I liked that you were honest about the boy - his 'strife' years along with the joy he brought. The writing was deeply personal and unique to him.
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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I write this in tears, having saved it and read it a few times now. This is a poem of the kind of beauty that it should be read aloud to be fully appreciated. I wonder if you read it to his parents when you gave it to them.
Wishing on a star made sense for the poem before I read your notes, but was far more poignant after reading them. I know the parents will treasure every single, loving word of this incredible gift.
I liked that you were honest about the boy - his 'strife' years along with the joy he brought. The writing was deeply personal and unique to him.
Comment Written 07-May-2019
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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Thank you so much for the empathy of your review. Tears are the best stars I could ever receive. Yes I did read it out at the memorial get together with Ryan's family, in front of about 30 people. It was difficult as I was blubbing and the paper got a bit wet. Later, I printed another copy on nice paper and got it framed for them. I've seen it on their wall now, so I know for sure how much it means to them.
He was a wild one and we didn't think he would make it through his troubled times, what with drugs and speeding car crashes, but then he came right, settled down, had kids, loved his parents again, and then the unbelievable happened.
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Wow, a very intense life indeed. It's incredible to think how one life, especially when shortened, becomes the central story for so many around them.
Comment from Carla Trinklein
This is beautiful. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, but I'm sure your poem brought his parents comfort. It is so hard to know what to say when parents lose a child, but talk we must. Memories need to be honored.
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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This is beautiful. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, but I'm sure your poem brought his parents comfort. It is so hard to know what to say when parents lose a child, but talk we must. Memories need to be honored.
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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Thanks so much for this brilliant review Carla. My friends were so touched when I gave them this poem. I had to read it out in front of about 30 people, which was quite nerve-racking as I was blubbing.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is a tender and gentle tribute to a young man gone to fate in his prime. I love the photo of two hands holding a glowing candle. It signifies very well the message of this poem. Your notes on the information of what caused his death are interesting and scary, as this could happen at any time, to any of us. Your descriptions of your friend's son are thoughtful and caring. This is heartfelt and well written. I love the last two lines the best. They say so well, what we must do, and it mentions the candle in the title and third stanza, which ties it all together excellently.
Thank you for sharing this tribute with us.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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This is a tender and gentle tribute to a young man gone to fate in his prime. I love the photo of two hands holding a glowing candle. It signifies very well the message of this poem. Your notes on the information of what caused his death are interesting and scary, as this could happen at any time, to any of us. Your descriptions of your friend's son are thoughtful and caring. This is heartfelt and well written. I love the last two lines the best. They say so well, what we must do, and it mentions the candle in the title and third stanza, which ties it all together excellently.
Thank you for sharing this tribute with us.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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Thanks very much for your caring and thoughtful review.
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Since you cared so much to write it, I felt it needed a caring review. I'm happy you liked it.
Jesse
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, hell, Lisa, you've got me in tears this afternoon!! :) This is such a beautiful gift to share with us but, especially, to present to friends whose heart was the inspiration for the write! ;);) You have really outdone yourself with this one, ma'am -- thank you for sharing it with all of us out here! ;) :)
'To seek the light, night the shadow it's throwing' ... AWESOME!! :) ;)
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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Oh, hell, Lisa, you've got me in tears this afternoon!! :) This is such a beautiful gift to share with us but, especially, to present to friends whose heart was the inspiration for the write! ;);) You have really outdone yourself with this one, ma'am -- thank you for sharing it with all of us out here! ;) :)
'To seek the light, night the shadow it's throwing' ... AWESOME!! :) ;)
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 07-May-2019
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Thanks so much for your generous and kind review. My friends really appreciated the poem too. It caused floods of tears when I read it out to the group of 30 assembled to remember Ryan. I was blubbing too and had to hold it at arm's length so it didn't get wet.
Comment from Tina Crute
This is so special that you did this for your friend. Not only is your poem a precious tribute,it is rich in meaningful vocabulary and imagery. It tells many important messages about appreciating life, the living and the deceased. This is a valuable contribution, Because this poems hits so many of my check-marks, I am giving it a six.
My favorite line..."to seek the light, not the shadow it's throwing."
Loved this. I usually reserve my sixes for contests, but I had to let you know how wonderful this is!
Tina
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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This is so special that you did this for your friend. Not only is your poem a precious tribute,it is rich in meaningful vocabulary and imagery. It tells many important messages about appreciating life, the living and the deceased. This is a valuable contribution, Because this poems hits so many of my check-marks, I am giving it a six.
My favorite line..."to seek the light, not the shadow it's throwing."
Loved this. I usually reserve my sixes for contests, but I had to let you know how wonderful this is!
Tina
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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Thank you so much for these comments Tina. I really appreciate them as this poem has special meaning to me.
Do you have any particular reason for saving your 6's for contest entries? I appreciate very much that you bestowed one on my poem!!!
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The poem says much about you and your values, and it is special.
The stars..I am just rather picky, and I want to help someone get noticed with a really great poem, and some of the best are in contests.This should be in one:)
I may put up a poem I wrote for a eulogy. That may be why this spoke to me also. It meant so much to the person I gave it to.
I may have to fan you:)
Tina
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I do believe also that people put their best in contests. I write on so many different topics that there isn't always a contest available when I feel like posting a particular poem. I haven't been writing poetry long enough to have a backlog of poems.
I can understand that the eulogy you wrote had an impact on the person you gave it to, as mine did for my friends too. It is the personal aspect of something crafted specifically for their situation.
I have been noticing your writing and your comments in reviews so I am going to fan you Tina.
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Thank you, Lisa, for the fan mail:)
I meant to say in reply above that it makes sense that you write so artistically. That's pretty cool that you are talented in so many creative areas!
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I am observant because of taking photographs, so I think that helps with noticing things to write about and how they can be portrayed.
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That totally makes sense. I just got a new camera for my birthday and aim to write poems of my pictures, just as a practice exercise. Thanks for sharing that connection with me.
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Are you an April baby like me, or May? Good luck with getting familiar with your new camera. Poems of pictures is an excellent idea. Apparently that would be an acrostic poem (I didn't know that word until I joined FS)
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April 18 was my birthday:) We are diamonds! I have learned so much on here too! Acrostic includes poems with pictures?
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Hey, mine's 16th!! Sisters in poetry and photography!
Acrostic is apparently a poem inspired by a picture, written in direct response to it. I wrote one for my own entertainment called Dicky Duck's Demise (portfolio on April 25th)
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So cool! Hi, sis! I will look up that poem!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt and sad poem about the death of a beloved son. I belief that it is the hardest experience for a parent to overcome the death of a child at any age.
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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A very well-written heartfelt and sad poem about the death of a beloved son. I belief that it is the hardest experience for a parent to overcome the death of a child at any age.
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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Thanks for your review Sandra. I have witnessed my own parents' loss of a son and my friends' loss so I entirely agree with you.
Comment from RodG
Lisa, this is a lovely tribute to the boys' parents. They will surely appreciate your kindness.
I like how it sounds like a conversation between you and them as we read from line to line.
The candle metaphor really works, but I especially like these lines: "to appreciate the candle a-glowing/to seek the Light, not the shadow it's throwing."
Rod
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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Lisa, this is a lovely tribute to the boys' parents. They will surely appreciate your kindness.
I like how it sounds like a conversation between you and them as we read from line to line.
The candle metaphor really works, but I especially like these lines: "to appreciate the candle a-glowing/to seek the Light, not the shadow it's throwing."
Rod
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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Thanks for your support Rod. My favourite line too.
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My pleasure. Rod
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
What a lovely gift to give your friends Lisa, these are gifts that cannot be bought, they are treasures from hearts. I hung on every word and here words are sad and resonating, I bet this poem brought a few tears, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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What a lovely gift to give your friends Lisa, these are gifts that cannot be bought, they are treasures from hearts. I hung on every word and here words are sad and resonating, I bet this poem brought a few tears, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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It still does bring tears, especially from me. I loved that boy.
Comment from JudyE
What an incredibly poignant poem and what a wonderful idea to have a star named after this boy. My cousin has just lost her grandson under similar conditions. Young (20), athletic and with no warning signs. You have captured all the emotions here, especially the 'why' did it happen.
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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What an incredibly poignant poem and what a wonderful idea to have a star named after this boy. My cousin has just lost her grandson under similar conditions. Young (20), athletic and with no warning signs. You have captured all the emotions here, especially the 'why' did it happen.
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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Oh Judy, that is so fresh and sad in your family.
I'm pleased my poem had enough to offer you for a 6. Thank you so much.
Comment from poetwatch
Sad poem and very good, Lisa May. I know were my mother is when I look upon a star I see her face. I can understand the feelings and it was very good of you to write this heartwarming poem. Thank you for sharing a tear with me.
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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Sad poem and very good, Lisa May. I know were my mother is when I look upon a star I see her face. I can understand the feelings and it was very good of you to write this heartwarming poem. Thank you for sharing a tear with me.
Comment Written 06-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-May-2019
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It is a bit of a tear-jerker poem; thanks for reviewing it. I like that connection to a star for your mother.