Comment from KatyM

Excellent

Wow, I had to read it twice to understand the last line. Yikes! I have no suggestions or subtractions. Very good! Makes you not want to answer the phone!
Katy Moffitt

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018

Thanks, Katy, for the great review. You are one of a few who got it.

Comment from Cindy McIntyre

Excellent

I love it. What a cute little "love" story in the making. You were able to create a fun-loving character in Andy, with his winking to a pet rock! :) I'm ready to read part 2!

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018

Thank you, Cindy, for the encouraging review. Bill

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Bill, so Allen got an easy ride here and secured a meeting. So far so good. And then I'm lost. What the heck is a pet rock who is called Andy? Must be human as he meets up with the 'victim'. This must be an American thing because I don't get this ending at all. I must be thick. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018

I left it vague, Ulla. I removed a couple of clues to make the i50 word cut, which then left the ending up to the reader. Most saw a clever telemarketer from, probably, the eighties (note phone and visit) securing a meeting with a lady. He brought along his pet rock. Seems quaint and quirky. Then others saw a serial killer who bashes in heads with his untraceable rock. After a few reviews, I favored the quirky tale.

Comment from Loredana

Excellent

I read your story twice. I really liked it. I entered my first contest with a flash-fiction, but this is the first time I read one. I wonder if I should take the story as a romance story or a mystery one or a criminal one. I think it can be either. Andy can be a serial killer or a very unlucky man who met the woman of his dreams...or ends up meeting a woman predator...or or or. Bottom line, I really enjoyed it.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2018

Thanks, WL, for giving this a look. It has received mixed opinions about where the plot goes.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I really liked the subtle prize winning recipient of a fifty percent prize from a shoe company, a cheque written on one shoe, I guess one could say, Lisa wore Andy, "forever", poor Sally, well dine, Bill, good luck, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018

Thanks, Roy. Funny what people like.

reply by royowen on 27-Sep-2018

It is indeed.

Comment from Kelly Hanna

Excellent

I wonder if these two will have a love story or not. Perhaps just a friendship. I'm not sure, but I like where your piece is headed. You've done a good job in shoeing a bit of Lisa and Andy's personalities. Nice write!

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018

Andy, you may recall, is a rock. :)

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

This poem makes me feel like the old R&B vocal group, the Coasters when the sang "Along Came Jones": And then, and then.
What the heck happened next?

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018

Well, nomi, out of fifteen reviews, fourteen said it?s the beginning of a romantic relationship. One said Allen killed Lisa with Andy.

reply by nomi338 on 27-Sep-2018

Since I am an eternal optimist, I will go with the crows and say it is the beginning of a romantic relationship. Hope I'm not wrong.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Um, so the pet rock went by himself? I doubt any woman would make an appointment with a shoe salesman to come to the house. I feel a Twilight Zone moment here. Good luck on the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018

Most reviewers say it?s just a slice of life look at a telemarketer and a budding romance. One said Allen kills Lisa with the rock.

Comment from Rickie1

Excellent

Your age is showing, as well as mine. :-) This sales technique goes back to the 50s or early 60s. Pet rock was a bit later.

I sold magazines door to door when I was 13 in 1965. You brought back memories. Thanks

Before six...before my husband got home. :-) Iove it.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018

This story is hinting to a by-gone era, for sure.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

You did a good job, Bill, with your contest entry. What will those tele-marketers think of next? Hopefully Lisa is smarter than what you picture her. She is shoe happy and it could get her in trouble. Best wishes. Jan

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018

Thank you, Jan.