Hummer Hostility
Dangerous battles on the front porch...9 total reviews
Comment from Hugh McDowell
This is very good. Really describes the fierceness of these little birds. So tiny and graceful but very aggressive. As a boy, I could watch them for hours. Excellent. Hugh
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
   |
This is very good. Really describes the fierceness of these little birds. So tiny and graceful but very aggressive. As a boy, I could watch them for hours. Excellent. Hugh
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
-
They're definitely entertaining, Hugh -- the ones at ours run into each other and tweedle so much that when there are three or four of them, they end up diving, crashing into one another, and sometimes crash to the ground and then rise, slowly, facing each other like phoenixes...and then, of course, it just starts all over again. Just crazy and violent!! :) :) Thanx for the review and have a wonderful day, don't you?! :) Yvette
Comment from poesyapprentice
Lol, I never thought of hummingbirds as little greedy guards, so this write gave me a new perspective that was fun to read. Thwack was a new word for me too, lol, and I like it, but do wonder if it was made up just for the purpose of the alliteration. Lines 5 and six were my favorite. The write had a nice flow and I liked the visual formatting, with the lines, and all. It was a piece that made me smile. Thank you for sharing, promoting your work, and for clarifying your syllable count on line 4. Good luck!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
|
Lol, I never thought of hummingbirds as little greedy guards, so this write gave me a new perspective that was fun to read. Thwack was a new word for me too, lol, and I like it, but do wonder if it was made up just for the purpose of the alliteration. Lines 5 and six were my favorite. The write had a nice flow and I liked the visual formatting, with the lines, and all. It was a piece that made me smile. Thank you for sharing, promoting your work, and for clarifying your syllable count on line 4. Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
-
Not made up -- look it up in a dictionary. :) :) Our hummers here at our two feeders run into each other and tweedle so much that when there are three or four of them, they end up diving, crashing into one another (the thwack), and sometimes crash to the ground and then rise, slowly, facing each other like phoenixes...and then, of course, it just starts all over again. Just crazy and violent!! :) :) Thanx for the review and have a wonderful day! :)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good syllable count in all seven lines of your Rhyming Alliterisen poem, Anonymous Poet.
Good slant/near rhyme pairing in your first couplet with "frenzied" and "speed".
Never heard a hummingbird go "Tweedling", however.
We have 3 hummingbird nectar feeders on our front porch and the only thing I hear is a low, deep hummmmmm of their furiously beating wings; usually right in my ear.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
|
Good syllable count in all seven lines of your Rhyming Alliterisen poem, Anonymous Poet.
Good slant/near rhyme pairing in your first couplet with "frenzied" and "speed".
Never heard a hummingbird go "Tweedling", however.
We have 3 hummingbird nectar feeders on our front porch and the only thing I hear is a low, deep hummmmmm of their furiously beating wings; usually right in my ear.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
-
Y'all must have some very sedate hummers -- the ones at ours run into each other and tweedle so much that when there are three or four of them, they end up diving, crashing into one another, and sometimes crash to the ground and then rise, slowly, facing each other like phoenixes...and then, of course, it just starts all over again. Just crazy and violent!! :) :) Thanx for the review and have a wonderful day! :) Yvette
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming alliteressen poem about the huming birds humming around the garden feeder they are humming with high speed but never lose control and stay our of each other's way.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
|
A very well-written rhyming alliteressen poem about the huming birds humming around the garden feeder they are humming with high speed but never lose control and stay our of each other's way.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
-
Thanx for the read and review, Sandra ? your input is always truly appreciated! And I'm so very glad the little gladiators made you smile! Have a great evening!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good image and presentation.
-Format is good.
-I have a friend who has numerous
hummer feeders and would
like this poem.
-I like the vivid word choices,
especially in line one.
-You create a good word picture
of the frenzied nature of these
tiny birds and their feeding
"at the cute candy café."
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
|
-Good image and presentation.
-Format is good.
-I have a friend who has numerous
hummer feeders and would
like this poem.
-I like the vivid word choices,
especially in line one.
-You create a good word picture
of the frenzied nature of these
tiny birds and their feeding
"at the cute candy café."
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
-
Thanx for the read and review, Pam ? your input is always truly appreciated! And I'm so very glad the little gladiators at the cafe made you smile! Have a great evening!
-
You are very welcome. I appreciate your comments. Have a good day.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about the hummer hostility and about their engagement in dangerous battles on the front porch as if they are guided by greed; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
|
This speaks about the hummer hostility and about their engagement in dangerous battles on the front porch as if they are guided by greed; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
-
Thanx for the read and review, DR ALCREATOR ? your input is always truly appreciated! And I'm so very glad the little gladiators at the cafe made you smile! Have a great evening!
Comment from Sugarray77
Well done on this! I love hummingbirds. Excellent form and execution of this for type of poetry. This is new to me and I think you met the challenge beautifully. It has a flowing quality that keeps us engaged. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
|
Well done on this! I love hummingbirds. Excellent form and execution of this for type of poetry. This is new to me and I think you met the challenge beautifully. It has a flowing quality that keeps us engaged. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
-
Thanx for the read and review, Sugarray ? your input is always truly appreciated! And I'm so very glad the little gladiators at the cafe made you smile! Have a great evening!
Comment from janalma
This made me grin. I know just what you mean. I sometimes wonder why they don't crash into each other. And they constantly seem to pester the others at the feeder. Cute candy cafe. That is original and a good name for all that sugar water. Haha. Liked this one.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
|
This made me grin. I know just what you mean. I sometimes wonder why they don't crash into each other. And they constantly seem to pester the others at the feeder. Cute candy cafe. That is original and a good name for all that sugar water. Haha. Liked this one.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
-
Thanx for the read and review, janalma ? they are my entertainment on evenings when i have time to sit out on the front porch - hilarious! And I'm so very glad the little gladiators at the cafe made you smile! Have a great evening!
Comment from meeshu
this is a fine example of alliteration in an alliteration contest, what are the chances. good luck in the alliteration contest. I hope you win..
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
|
this is a fine example of alliteration in an alliteration contest, what are the chances. good luck in the alliteration contest. I hope you win..
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
-
Thanx for the quick read and review, Gary -- always appreciate your stopping by! :) This one would fall into the category of 'one of my bright ideas' and I say that with the most sincerest sarcasm! :) I actually entered the contest early in the morning and then spent WA-A-A-AY more time than planned grading papers, working with students online, and planning a student math workshop (about which I had forgotten) than I had anticipated when i entered! :) :) I probably should have just let the thing go, but it was a $5 entry fee already paid! :) ;) Yeah, I'm cheap! So, voila!! You get angry hummers that, even though they really do grace my porch every evening, actually reflected a good bit of my mood when I wrote it! :) ;) C'est la vie, oui? :) All that to say, I'm glad you liked it okay -- cuz that's where I was with it....okay. :) ;) ;) Thanx again, sir, and have a wonderful remainder of the week with clouds that make the shapes that make you smile!! :)
-
I should apologize if my remarks were a little terse. they were aimed at FS, after my first review was two characters short of 150. Review Rage! should not have taken it out on the author.