Beauty in the Norm
How do I begin when the beginning is ...37 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I thought this was the worst line I ever read until I read the author notes. Now I know it's the worst line I ever read. It's supposed to be a bad line. Good job.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
  |
I thought this was the worst line I ever read until I read the author notes. Now I know it's the worst line I ever read. It's supposed to be a bad line. Good job.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
-
Ahhh. I'm totally insulted! Thanks so much. I may have a career in this after all. LOL mike
Comment from Brigitte Elko
This definitely fulfills the entry requirements. The content I found very entertaining. Definitely, in my humble opinion, this was colorful, imaginative, and vivid. Reading through it four times brought chuckles , every time, as I realized the analogies you were using. This should be in a category in itself because it is not horrible. With punctuation, this is superb.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
|
This definitely fulfills the entry requirements. The content I found very entertaining. Definitely, in my humble opinion, this was colorful, imaginative, and vivid. Reading through it four times brought chuckles , every time, as I realized the analogies you were using. This should be in a category in itself because it is not horrible. With punctuation, this is superb.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
-
Aww, thanks so much, Brigitte. This was difficult at first, but then it became the best fun. I'm tempted to write a whole NOVEL in this style. LOL Thanks so much. I did try to make it "good" terrible. :)) mike
Comment from Elizabeth Daniels
I thought you did a fantastic job of holding my attention as well as sticking to the rules with a very bad first sentence. lol I like how you used and reused certain words in various forms. Good luck in the contest,
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
|
I thought you did a fantastic job of holding my attention as well as sticking to the rules with a very bad first sentence. lol I like how you used and reused certain words in various forms. Good luck in the contest,
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
-
Thanks so much. This was probably WAY more fun than it should've been. Glad you enjoyed. mike
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
LOL! Brilliant start to what will surely be a NYT #1 best seller soon. I love your concise use of words... you've learned that less is more. Good luck with your writing career. :)
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
|
LOL! Brilliant start to what will surely be a NYT #1 best seller soon. I love your concise use of words... you've learned that less is more. Good luck with your writing career. :)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
-
Are you available for backing? LOL
Glad you liked. This was way too much fun. Thanks so much. mike
Comment from Bob Stanton
A clever distraction - readability 12/15, Originality 12/15, Flow 12/15, Characterization 5 /15 (N/A really) , Imagery and use of language 12/15, Overall Response - 10/15. Total = 63/90.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
 |
A clever distraction - readability 12/15, Originality 12/15, Flow 12/15, Characterization 5 /15 (N/A really) , Imagery and use of language 12/15, Overall Response - 10/15. Total = 63/90.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
-
What in the world is any of that supposed to mean. LOL
This is a contest piece. The contest is to write a HORRIBLE first line of a novel. I'm thinking the question would be if you think I did that or not. In any case. I appreciate the compliments and the time you took. :))
-
Sounds like I offended (at least a bit). Not my intention at all. Good luck in the competition.
-
Naw. I just didn't get it. :)) Thanks for the well wishes.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Look, I KNOW this was supposed to be a piece of shite, but to be honest I thought the first few sentences were pretty good. When it DID really hit the gas tank hard I soon realised it was this contest again haha.
Without tooting your horn too much, I thought Norm WAS quite plausible, then you went completely cuckoo with the snakes butt in technicolour LMAO so I knew the jig was up.
A solide entry but I enjoyed the beginning far too much LOL....maybe you need to derail the first three sentences a bit more to match where the snake went deep and long haha Very vivid imagery with that one - way to go!
Good luck with your entry. I'll be interested to see the winner of this piece of crap competition!
Cheers P
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
|
Look, I KNOW this was supposed to be a piece of shite, but to be honest I thought the first few sentences were pretty good. When it DID really hit the gas tank hard I soon realised it was this contest again haha.
Without tooting your horn too much, I thought Norm WAS quite plausible, then you went completely cuckoo with the snakes butt in technicolour LMAO so I knew the jig was up.
A solide entry but I enjoyed the beginning far too much LOL....maybe you need to derail the first three sentences a bit more to match where the snake went deep and long haha Very vivid imagery with that one - way to go!
Good luck with your entry. I'll be interested to see the winner of this piece of crap competition!
Cheers P
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
-
Thank you soooo much. I'm anxious too. I can't wait to get started on my trilogy of novels. If I can win this contest, the publishers will SWOOOOON!!!!!!! (you're probably wondering if I'm serious AND this crazy, yes?)
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Congratulations -- this is BAD. I mean.... baaaaad. I hope you had to work at this and that it didn't come really easy. *smile* Cause that would be a bad sign, you know?? A really bad sign... of a bad thing. That you would need to heed.
Good luck at this thing. Ugh.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
|
Dear Mystery Writer,
Congratulations -- this is BAD. I mean.... baaaaad. I hope you had to work at this and that it didn't come really easy. *smile* Cause that would be a bad sign, you know?? A really bad sign... of a bad thing. That you would need to heed.
Good luck at this thing. Ugh.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
-
I've poured my heart into this. I would've poured my soul too, but I sold it to acquire the ability to write this. OHHHHH! I'm so excited. This could be my big moment. (wouldn't that be sad?) LOL
Comment from Father Flaps
Wow! That's quite an opening sentence. Actually, I think there should be a break before "therefore and hence", but I'll leave that up to you. I really liked that very first part,
"In a world where beauty was the norm, Norm was not a beauty." ...if that was the opening line of a book, I'd read on for sure. It's perfect. Not bad at all, really. And even if you added,
"nor was Norm even normal in the worldly sense." ...I'd still consider this a very good opening line. But then things get out of hand, which I guess is good, in keeping with the writing prompt.
So, you've succeeded, and I wish you well in the contest.
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
|
Wow! That's quite an opening sentence. Actually, I think there should be a break before "therefore and hence", but I'll leave that up to you. I really liked that very first part,
"In a world where beauty was the norm, Norm was not a beauty." ...if that was the opening line of a book, I'd read on for sure. It's perfect. Not bad at all, really. And even if you added,
"nor was Norm even normal in the worldly sense." ...I'd still consider this a very good opening line. But then things get out of hand, which I guess is good, in keeping with the writing prompt.
So, you've succeeded, and I wish you well in the contest.
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 30-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
-
Thank you so much. It's not easy to abandon something that's kind of good. LOL
But, once you let go, it's the most fun I've had writing in a long time. I'm tempted to really write a novel like this. YES, I want you to talk me out of it ... PLEASE. Thanks for the great review. :))
-
You write it, and I'll read it. Go for it!
Comment from royowen
I rather like the repetitive nature of comparing Norm to being anything but the norm, in fact he was being compared to the beauteous ass of a beekeeper's folder, how maundane can on "bee", well done, good entry, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
|
I rather like the repetitive nature of comparing Norm to being anything but the norm, in fact he was being compared to the beauteous ass of a beekeeper's folder, how maundane can on "bee", well done, good entry, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
-
Thanks so much, Roy. This was quite fun. mike
-
Well done
Comment from dracofelsinensis
This is classy writing. To be specific: 'world' (incl. when part of 'worldly') appears four times; 'Norm', 'norm' or 'normal' nine times, plus a 'nor' to ice the cake; 'beauty' five times; and all this in one sentence! You saved your 'piece de resistance' until last: "uglier than a snake's asshole seen through a kaleidoscope", a beautiful image and not a 'normal' one, normatively speaking, of course. Back to you in the studio, Norman.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
|
This is classy writing. To be specific: 'world' (incl. when part of 'worldly') appears four times; 'Norm', 'norm' or 'normal' nine times, plus a 'nor' to ice the cake; 'beauty' five times; and all this in one sentence! You saved your 'piece de resistance' until last: "uglier than a snake's asshole seen through a kaleidoscope", a beautiful image and not a 'normal' one, normatively speaking, of course. Back to you in the studio, Norman.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
-
HA! I can see you took your time and reviewed this in depth. Not the normal approach and MUCH appreciated. Your review may be more entertaining than my piece. Love it. Thanks a million. mike