A Glimpse
poetic prose on mental illness24 total reviews
Comment from Cycler
You wrap circumstance into beautiful, lulling words ... and let us step off the cliff in gradual emotion. Leaving questions, wonder, what if scenarios in our minds. A glimpse of the story is significant; we don't know what lies beyond the storm, unless we've been there. Your words beckon to explore more, to wonder more, to reason -
It is scarier than portrayed, yet - how would we know. Life is that way.
Really enjoy your words, the journey - and your comments add nicely.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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You wrap circumstance into beautiful, lulling words ... and let us step off the cliff in gradual emotion. Leaving questions, wonder, what if scenarios in our minds. A glimpse of the story is significant; we don't know what lies beyond the storm, unless we've been there. Your words beckon to explore more, to wonder more, to reason -
It is scarier than portrayed, yet - how would we know. Life is that way.
Really enjoy your words, the journey - and your comments add nicely.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Once again a huge thank you Cycler.. thank you!!!!!!
jimi
Comment from Poetic Friend
Jimi, my dear friend.
I am always moved by your poetry -- moved to tears and moved to help. I know I may sound like a broken record, but I sincerely believe you are an exceptional poet. I want so badly for a larger audience to read and admire your work.
As for this poem, you described the dilemma of the bipolar disorder with compassion and understanding. Apparently, you have had some exposure to someone who is diagnosed with the disorder. Your poem makes the reader feel the challenges of living with the illness.
Also, I like your prose-like format that you have been using lately to present your poetry. This format is highly effective for your themes and messages.
Here to another nomination for Poem of the Month.
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Jimi, my dear friend.
I am always moved by your poetry -- moved to tears and moved to help. I know I may sound like a broken record, but I sincerely believe you are an exceptional poet. I want so badly for a larger audience to read and admire your work.
As for this poem, you described the dilemma of the bipolar disorder with compassion and understanding. Apparently, you have had some exposure to someone who is diagnosed with the disorder. Your poem makes the reader feel the challenges of living with the illness.
Also, I like your prose-like format that you have been using lately to present your poetry. This format is highly effective for your themes and messages.
Here to another nomination for Poem of the Month.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Jimmi, this is so unutterably sad and well written. I love the way this is woven, the fairytale allusions, the hope and bright future smudged. The charcoal imagery is so poignant. The last three line and the way it is centred is gut wrenching. I elicit smiles but you elicit true tears.
You are a very, very good writer and I mean this. I have personal experience of some of what you write about and it is all deeply, viscerally well captured.
Best to you as always my special, special cyber friend,
Hayley
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Jimmi, this is so unutterably sad and well written. I love the way this is woven, the fairytale allusions, the hope and bright future smudged. The charcoal imagery is so poignant. The last three line and the way it is centred is gut wrenching. I elicit smiles but you elicit true tears.
You are a very, very good writer and I mean this. I have personal experience of some of what you write about and it is all deeply, viscerally well captured.
Best to you as always my special, special cyber friend,
Hayley
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jimi
I don't open Fanstory's door much now, although I did renew my membership today for 2 more years. You've dyed your hair! Green blouse matches your green eyes, very nice picture! I'm so glad to find you this afternoon, but I'd love to read something more cheery from you. Maybe next time?
This haibun has some terrific lines...
The first that caught me was,
"Pink booties began a thousands steps." I think of my granddaughter, Alyssa. She is already 3 1/2 years old and playing soccer, dancing (two performances at Saint John's Imperial Theater so far), singing, cooking, painting, and she loves play dough. She had her first day at DVBS this morning. DVBS is Daily Vacation Bible School. Time flies, doesn't it? How is your granddaughter doing?
"The shores of our fancy etched memories and milestones." Yesterday, we were up at our cottage on the Washdemoak with our two sons and their wives. I was sitting on the beach deck and, looking across the lake with binos, imagining I could see the red deer herd that used to roam the distant hill. The cottages on the far shore look the same as they did back in the 80's when my wife's parents were still alive. Things change. Some memories are happy. Some sad.
I like the way you write your haibuns, short and choppy sentences as thoughts become ink. That's the way it should be, from thought to thought.
"trapping her soaring spirit into the caisson of a spider's lullaby" ...My boss's son, Brian, suffers from depression. He's a great guy in his mid-20's who got a little too close to drugs when he was studying to be a chef a few years ago. Now he pays the price. What a shame. It's impossible for a fly to free itself from the spider's sticky web.
Never give up. Always hope for these poor sweet souls. You never know what a few kind words can accomplish.
Nicely penned, Jimi, as usual.
Hugs
Kimbob
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Hi Jimi
I don't open Fanstory's door much now, although I did renew my membership today for 2 more years. You've dyed your hair! Green blouse matches your green eyes, very nice picture! I'm so glad to find you this afternoon, but I'd love to read something more cheery from you. Maybe next time?
This haibun has some terrific lines...
The first that caught me was,
"Pink booties began a thousands steps." I think of my granddaughter, Alyssa. She is already 3 1/2 years old and playing soccer, dancing (two performances at Saint John's Imperial Theater so far), singing, cooking, painting, and she loves play dough. She had her first day at DVBS this morning. DVBS is Daily Vacation Bible School. Time flies, doesn't it? How is your granddaughter doing?
"The shores of our fancy etched memories and milestones." Yesterday, we were up at our cottage on the Washdemoak with our two sons and their wives. I was sitting on the beach deck and, looking across the lake with binos, imagining I could see the red deer herd that used to roam the distant hill. The cottages on the far shore look the same as they did back in the 80's when my wife's parents were still alive. Things change. Some memories are happy. Some sad.
I like the way you write your haibuns, short and choppy sentences as thoughts become ink. That's the way it should be, from thought to thought.
"trapping her soaring spirit into the caisson of a spider's lullaby" ...My boss's son, Brian, suffers from depression. He's a great guy in his mid-20's who got a little too close to drugs when he was studying to be a chef a few years ago. Now he pays the price. What a shame. It's impossible for a fly to free itself from the spider's sticky web.
Never give up. Always hope for these poor sweet souls. You never know what a few kind words can accomplish.
Nicely penned, Jimi, as usual.
Hugs
Kimbob
Comment Written 04-Jul-2017
Comment from Wabigoon
Jimi--
I don't really know what is going on here. You lost one of your daughters to bi-polar disorder? Suicide? That's about the only way to lose somebody to that "illness." Maybe this helps me understand the Black Dog poem which was excellent. Who sent it -- the Black Dog? This poems seems, simply a celebration of her and a plea for her return somehow. But maybe you could fill me in a bit on this, eh?
Best
Jeff
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Jimi--
I don't really know what is going on here. You lost one of your daughters to bi-polar disorder? Suicide? That's about the only way to lose somebody to that "illness." Maybe this helps me understand the Black Dog poem which was excellent. Who sent it -- the Black Dog? This poems seems, simply a celebration of her and a plea for her return somehow. But maybe you could fill me in a bit on this, eh?
Best
Jeff
Comment Written 04-Jul-2017
Comment from TAB_that's me
Your prose is very descriptive and well written in poetic form. I like that you ended in a senryu.
I don't have any experience with mental illness but this shows me a glimpse of it.
Very beautiful writing.
teresa
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Your prose is very descriptive and well written in poetic form. I like that you ended in a senryu.
I don't have any experience with mental illness but this shows me a glimpse of it.
Very beautiful writing.
teresa
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
Comment from Dawn Munro
I should not read this - not now, when my own mood has again spiraled into bitterness... I want to ask, what of those poor souls who don't HAVE the 'lighthouse'?
Sorry - that's what this astounding content disturbs in me... And I had a friend, long ago, who was bipolar...
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I should not read this - not now, when my own mood has again spiraled into bitterness... I want to ask, what of those poor souls who don't HAVE the 'lighthouse'?
Sorry - that's what this astounding content disturbs in me... And I had a friend, long ago, who was bipolar...
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A sad story immortalised in your words here. Life can deal a blow at times and coping with it is a difficult journey for many, your poem says so much in few words, love Dolly x
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A sad story immortalised in your words here. Life can deal a blow at times and coping with it is a difficult journey for many, your poem says so much in few words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
This was a heartbreaking read. It flowed very nicely. Comprehensible and very professionally written. The emotional reflections are insightful and impressive. Good chosen words.
The descriptive words created impressions only someone who can understand this terrible disease could have written.
Mitchell.
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This was a heartbreaking read. It flowed very nicely. Comprehensible and very professionally written. The emotional reflections are insightful and impressive. Good chosen words.
The descriptive words created impressions only someone who can understand this terrible disease could have written.
Mitchell.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Jimi,
indeed, this is a very powerful poem in all of its glory. A story that guided me through stages of what most of us take for granted... and yet, in some time within our lives will be touched with... maybe not personally, but at very least, in close quarters. Mental illness destroys the illusion of normalcy... and yes, the blanket of the dark could-heavy, unrelenting, unforgiving is the truth of any sufferer's reality. I have close ties of witnessing such tsunami's of emotional swings... and at least two of these close connections ended in tragic circumstances.
I may lay question marks on some punctuation, but for me, it is secondary to the essence of the content, phrasing and composition... which had me reading and re-reading the magic of the intent woven just so, that it took me on a journey of mind, heart and spirit. It allowed my heart to swell, think deeply, reflect. Not only for my personal journey, but for all the people out there suffering some kind of chemical imbalance that alters their course... and why? Because you wrote this beautiful poem that sparked my senses to the struggles of others.
Outstanding!
With our thoughts we create,
a bridge of understanding.
James vx's.
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Hi Jimi,
indeed, this is a very powerful poem in all of its glory. A story that guided me through stages of what most of us take for granted... and yet, in some time within our lives will be touched with... maybe not personally, but at very least, in close quarters. Mental illness destroys the illusion of normalcy... and yes, the blanket of the dark could-heavy, unrelenting, unforgiving is the truth of any sufferer's reality. I have close ties of witnessing such tsunami's of emotional swings... and at least two of these close connections ended in tragic circumstances.
I may lay question marks on some punctuation, but for me, it is secondary to the essence of the content, phrasing and composition... which had me reading and re-reading the magic of the intent woven just so, that it took me on a journey of mind, heart and spirit. It allowed my heart to swell, think deeply, reflect. Not only for my personal journey, but for all the people out there suffering some kind of chemical imbalance that alters their course... and why? Because you wrote this beautiful poem that sparked my senses to the struggles of others.
Outstanding!
With our thoughts we create,
a bridge of understanding.
James vx's.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017