The Ballad of Hairless Joe
All boys need their heroes.32 total reviews
Comment from GoodHearted Woman
Hi Rod: Yes, I saw where the "long poem" was coming up. I couldn't quite handle the energy an endeavor like that would demand. Laugh. I read it 3 times, and that is not uncommon. I want to make sure I've got it straight. I agree with you in that I like a little dialog in poetry--you don't see it much, but it spices things up. I enjoyed the story very much and your descriptions all sounded authentic. That is where I lived for many years. Now we've moved 45 miles south of there. The little town that's there is called Moose WY and it does have just one bar! Of course, 'then' I have no idea what it had. This has really been a fun morning for me because of all this unexpected stuff. Talk later. GoodHearted Woman
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Hi Rod: Yes, I saw where the "long poem" was coming up. I couldn't quite handle the energy an endeavor like that would demand. Laugh. I read it 3 times, and that is not uncommon. I want to make sure I've got it straight. I agree with you in that I like a little dialog in poetry--you don't see it much, but it spices things up. I enjoyed the story very much and your descriptions all sounded authentic. That is where I lived for many years. Now we've moved 45 miles south of there. The little town that's there is called Moose WY and it does have just one bar! Of course, 'then' I have no idea what it had. This has really been a fun morning for me because of all this unexpected stuff. Talk later. GoodHearted Woman
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Thank you, GoodHearted Woman, for living up to your name and reading this lengthy ballad. So glad you enjoyed it. I grew up in Nevada, so we are Western kin. Rod
Comment from pome lover
You need Marty Robbins to sing that ballad, though I guess he's prob'ly dead, or it could be a picture book??? It's very good. My husband used to play the guitar and sing that song that went on forever - Felina, or something - a zillion verses.
Your rhymes are spot on, meter's good, but of course - an English teacher could do no less. Good luck in the contest. This is great - should do well!
PS -
I love the title of your poetry collection. I bet there are some interesting tales.
My book, just out, is middle grade level, and was fun to write.
Best wishes,
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017
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You need Marty Robbins to sing that ballad, though I guess he's prob'ly dead, or it could be a picture book??? It's very good. My husband used to play the guitar and sing that song that went on forever - Felina, or something - a zillion verses.
Your rhymes are spot on, meter's good, but of course - an English teacher could do no less. Good luck in the contest. This is great - should do well!
PS -
I love the title of your poetry collection. I bet there are some interesting tales.
My book, just out, is middle grade level, and was fun to write.
Best wishes,
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 30-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, pome lover, for taking the time to read my lengthy ballad and comment. I would love Marty Robbins to sing this. His "El Paso" is one of my all-time favorite songs. He put together a whole album of such songs called "Gunfighter Ballads" which is still available on Amazon. Rod
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El Paso, that's right. yours is that kind of song.
Comment from Maureen Sky
Loved it! Thought maybe I was witnessing the next scene of "Bonanza" or something, haha! A very enjoyable poem. Good work indeed!
Good Luck!
Maureen Sky
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Loved it! Thought maybe I was witnessing the next scene of "Bonanza" or something, haha! A very enjoyable poem. Good work indeed!
Good Luck!
Maureen Sky
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Maureen,, I am super delighted you loved my western yarn. Yes,there is a bit of "Bonanza" evident. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment from Bill Schott
The Ballad of Hairless Joe is one I would hold up in comparison to any poem of the same theme.I suppose this would more probably be the ballad of the bounty hunter, since Joe is the narrator. Either way, I really enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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The Ballad of Hairless Joe is one I would hold up in comparison to any poem of the same theme.I suppose this would more probably be the ballad of the bounty hunter, since Joe is the narrator. Either way, I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Hi Bill. I am delighted you enjoyed "The Ballad of Hairless Joe" and think it compares favorably to others of that ilk. Thanks so much or sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from Sis Cat
This is a fine narrative poem of length which reminded me of Robert Service's ""The Cremation of Sam McGee" and Paul Lawrence Dunbar's "The Party." Your historical story engaged me. You packed it with action and vivid dialogue.
Some of your dialect, however, slowed my reading because I had to decipher what you said and meant, "Jest ten, I'd not be 'vited in." I thought you meant "Justin." While it adds color, dialect is hard to pull off successfully. It also appears your font size shrank part way through, making your excellent poem harder to read.
I saw your poem appear before my eyes like a Western movie. I can see it and feel it. The best thing about it is that it is true.
Thank you for sharing your engaging, entertaining narrative poem. I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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This is a fine narrative poem of length which reminded me of Robert Service's ""The Cremation of Sam McGee" and Paul Lawrence Dunbar's "The Party." Your historical story engaged me. You packed it with action and vivid dialogue.
Some of your dialect, however, slowed my reading because I had to decipher what you said and meant, "Jest ten, I'd not be 'vited in." I thought you meant "Justin." While it adds color, dialect is hard to pull off successfully. It also appears your font size shrank part way through, making your excellent poem harder to read.
I saw your poem appear before my eyes like a Western movie. I can see it and feel it. The best thing about it is that it is true.
Thank you for sharing your engaging, entertaining narrative poem. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Sis Cat, for taking the time to read my lengthy ballad AND commenting on it in depth. I understand what you mean by how not being familiar with dialect can slow you down. To be frank, I assumed most of my readers would be ardent readers of the traditional western where such jargon is commonplace. Again, many thanks for your kind praise.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I enjoyed this. there is a great pace and flow to the piece that draws the reader through so well, one doesn't notice the length. Good story in a poem as well as meeting the comp requirements.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Hi there,
I enjoyed this. there is a great pace and flow to the piece that draws the reader through so well, one doesn't notice the length. Good story in a poem as well as meeting the comp requirements.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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I am delighted you were drawn in, GMG, and enjoyed the story. Thanks so much for the kind praise.
Comment from DR DIP
I really liked this story It really got me in I can see the similarities to a few movies i have seen with a young kid and SHANE is one of them Good write and good luck in the contest
dip
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I really liked this story It really got me in I can see the similarities to a few movies i have seen with a young kid and SHANE is one of them Good write and good luck in the contest
dip
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for sharing this yarn, Dr. Dip, and your kind praise.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Author
Yes, that was a long one, but easy to read. And I wanted to see what happened in the story. I have always been a big fan of westerns. I have quite a selection of movies. My all-time favorite is the original "The Magnificent Seven", starring Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen. Another terrific, though more recent western is "Dances With Wolves". But I could easily name a few other favorites... "Shenandoah", "Soldier Blue", the original "True Grit", "Little Big Man", "The Alamo", "Jeremiah Johnson", "The Long Riders", and "The Mountain Men". And I remember from the late 50's, "Hawkeye and the Last of the Mohicans". And Bonanza too, I watched them all the time when I was a young whipper-snapper.
Your poem is well rhymed and metered. No need for improvement. Good Luck in the voting booths.
Hi-Ho Silver!
Kimbob
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Hi Mystery Author
Yes, that was a long one, but easy to read. And I wanted to see what happened in the story. I have always been a big fan of westerns. I have quite a selection of movies. My all-time favorite is the original "The Magnificent Seven", starring Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen. Another terrific, though more recent western is "Dances With Wolves". But I could easily name a few other favorites... "Shenandoah", "Soldier Blue", the original "True Grit", "Little Big Man", "The Alamo", "Jeremiah Johnson", "The Long Riders", and "The Mountain Men". And I remember from the late 50's, "Hawkeye and the Last of the Mohicans". And Bonanza too, I watched them all the time when I was a young whipper-snapper.
Your poem is well rhymed and metered. No need for improvement. Good Luck in the voting booths.
Hi-Ho Silver!
Kimbob
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for your wonderful praise of "Hairless Joe" and the six star bonus. I love all the westerns you mentioned, and recently bought a DVD copy of another classic, "Ride the High Country" with Randolph Scott and Joel McCrea.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a classic western tale told in regular story rhyme abcb and alternating iambic lines of tetrameter and trimeter. There is just one stanza where the rhyme and meter is off and just does not roll right when read aloud.
"We drank awhile before he smiled
and leaned a bit toward me. Feminine ending. That is OK
"Guess I've been rude. You got a name,
or should I call you Flea?"" This is known as 'wrenched rhyme', a type of forced rhyme. It needs a feminine ending and a rhyme with the stressed syllable in line 2 '...ward'"
In a poem of this length one small metrical stumble does not deserve to be marked down but I would suggest you address the problem before this gets into the voting booth.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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This is a classic western tale told in regular story rhyme abcb and alternating iambic lines of tetrameter and trimeter. There is just one stanza where the rhyme and meter is off and just does not roll right when read aloud.
"We drank awhile before he smiled
and leaned a bit toward me. Feminine ending. That is OK
"Guess I've been rude. You got a name,
or should I call you Flea?"" This is known as 'wrenched rhyme', a type of forced rhyme. It needs a feminine ending and a rhyme with the stressed syllable in line 2 '...ward'"
In a poem of this length one small metrical stumble does not deserve to be marked down but I would suggest you address the problem before this gets into the voting booth.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my lengthy ballad and criticizing. I understand what you are saying, Pantygynt, about that rhyme, but you are English and pronounce "toward" as two syllables. I am from the American West where it is pronounced as a single syllable rhyming with "sword."
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I accept the pronunciation difference. Yes indeed if toward is a single syllable then the stress goes onto the "me" and the rhyme is not "wrenched" or forced in any way. My bad. Please accept my apologies.
Good job I didn't mark it down eh?
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No apologies needed. It's just one more example of how English varies around the world.
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Talk about being hoist with your own petard. I have been telling my rhyme class that they should make allowances for pronunciation differences. My class, run by an Englishman (me), has a Texan and a German Swiss as students Shit! or should that be schitt or even shite? Tomahto, tomayto -- let's call the whole thing off!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really wonderful! A complete western in a poem, and so well written too. I've seen and read loads of cowboy films and books, they always draw me in. I love the story, and it had everything a young 'at heart' reader like me could wish for. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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That was really wonderful! A complete western in a poem, and so well written too. I've seen and read loads of cowboy films and books, they always draw me in. I love the story, and it had everything a young 'at heart' reader like me could wish for. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Oh, Sandra, it really pleases me to know there are women readers out there who are still "drawn in" by western books and films. Thank you so much for your kind praise of my ballad.
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Always! You must write more of them, you did such a good job with this one. :)