Nightqueen
She is so beautiful it hurts.She is the Night Queen, Lilith.45 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
Very nicely done, Meia. There is definitely a pulsing sexuality throughout your lines, even though the language required no warnings. I could feel the heat. It was clever to write this as if a man captivated by the beautiful temptress. There are no editing errors and the language is vivid and powerful. A most impressive piece.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2017
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Very nicely done, Meia. There is definitely a pulsing sexuality throughout your lines, even though the language required no warnings. I could feel the heat. It was clever to write this as if a man captivated by the beautiful temptress. There are no editing errors and the language is vivid and powerful. A most impressive piece.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2017
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thankyou so much for kind review Miss Merri x
Comment from jmcfadden1528
Great poem! The descriptions and imagery you offered were amazing. I love when you describe the night queen's eyes with a "blatant lack of humanity." This poem gave me chills lol. Great work, and I look forward to reading more from you!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Great poem! The descriptions and imagery you offered were amazing. I love when you describe the night queen's eyes with a "blatant lack of humanity." This poem gave me chills lol. Great work, and I look forward to reading more from you!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for yur very kind review! I am very grateful for your kind words kind regards meia :)
Comment from Kingsland
This poem has high emotions and excellent alteration in its thoughts and lines of prevailing poetic thoughts. You have a lot of originality in this piece as well. I enjoyed partaking of this well-written poetic voice... John
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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This poem has high emotions and excellent alteration in its thoughts and lines of prevailing poetic thoughts. You have a lot of originality in this piece as well. I enjoyed partaking of this well-written poetic voice... John
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Thank-you for your thoughtful and excellent review you are very kind John I really appreciate it.meia :)
Comment from dragonpoet
This sounds like a person mired in sin and not able to control the draw. He wants to but can't seem too. He is drawn toward Hell.
I never remember reading about Lilith in the Bible. The Bible states that Eve was the first woman created so how could Adam of had a first wife the was to full of guile. Lilith is a figure in mythology, not a Biblical figure. It is probably a way to understand the serpent.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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This sounds like a person mired in sin and not able to control the draw. He wants to but can't seem too. He is drawn toward Hell.
I never remember reading about Lilith in the Bible. The Bible states that Eve was the first woman created so how could Adam of had a first wife the was to full of guile. Lilith is a figure in mythology, not a Biblical figure. It is probably a way to understand the serpent.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Mianly Hebrew texts mention Lillith but yes you are right she is not in the actual bible...thankyou again for you excellent reviews and comments xx
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You're welcome, Meia.
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Comment from Bill Schott
The imaging based on the extensive background information create an awesome scene. Lilith becomes the irresistible force for man and mankind. The depth of data used to add to your poem makes it a modern classic in my view.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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The imaging based on the extensive background information create an awesome scene. Lilith becomes the irresistible force for man and mankind. The depth of data used to add to your poem makes it a modern classic in my view.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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thankyou again Bill, for you excellent reviews and comments I am so honoured you gave me six stars you are sovery kind! meiax
Comment from Eric Corsten
This poem scares the shit out of me and that's a good... This is a delightfully wicked piece you've crafted here. The flow is good and I like not rhyming... getting right to the juice.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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This poem scares the shit out of me and that's a good... This is a delightfully wicked piece you've crafted here. The flow is good and I like not rhyming... getting right to the juice.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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thankyou so much Erica for you excellent review and comments meia x
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Nightqueen" is an extremely well-written and semi-erotic piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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"Nightqueen" is an extremely well-written and semi-erotic piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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thankyou again for you excellent review and comments x
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meia (MESAYERS), you're more than welcome.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from DR DIP
Ah the devil's daughter seduces, devours, rapes one's mind and body poor victim of this seductive wench Beware the temptress. Thanks for sharing
great poem
dip
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Ah the devil's daughter seduces, devours, rapes one's mind and body poor victim of this seductive wench Beware the temptress. Thanks for sharing
great poem
dip
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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thankyou again for you excellent reviews and comments kind regards meia x
Comment from bertranclan
Goodness! Now that is some powerful writing! In addition to your excellent poem, I enjoyed reading the author's notes at the end. So much information--it was really helpful in understanding this character. Your poem flowed well, and was quite captivating. Bravo!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Goodness! Now that is some powerful writing! In addition to your excellent poem, I enjoyed reading the author's notes at the end. So much information--it was really helpful in understanding this character. Your poem flowed well, and was quite captivating. Bravo!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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thankyou so much berrranclan you are very kind :) meia
Comment from kiwisteveh
Meia, this is a very good depiction of the allure of the seductive Lilith, as seen from the POV of one of her 'victims'.
Your language is powerful and I like the focus both on colours and smells which give the piece sensual appeal.
The final lines show the complete submission of this poor fellow.
Just a couple of tiny things struck me as out of place...
'eyes rocket up at the sides...' 'rocket' seems wrong here, an anachronism perhaps, or more indicating speed, when it's not actually movement you are trying to portray.
'pussycat smile...' Seems too soft for the evil one. Cats can be dark and deadly, but pussycat has connotations of playful and friendly.
Good stuff.
Steve
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Meia, this is a very good depiction of the allure of the seductive Lilith, as seen from the POV of one of her 'victims'.
Your language is powerful and I like the focus both on colours and smells which give the piece sensual appeal.
The final lines show the complete submission of this poor fellow.
Just a couple of tiny things struck me as out of place...
'eyes rocket up at the sides...' 'rocket' seems wrong here, an anachronism perhaps, or more indicating speed, when it's not actually movement you are trying to portray.
'pussycat smile...' Seems too soft for the evil one. Cats can be dark and deadly, but pussycat has connotations of playful and friendly.
Good stuff.
Steve
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thanks Steve. Your review was excellent thankyou. The pussycat smile is one of a tiger as it comes towards you to eat you, yet you still cannot help being enchanted by its beauty. The 'rocketing' up at the sides to create a feline but also serpentine impression.As you know the serpents eyes are on either side of their heads.Many thanks kind regards meia :)