She's come undone.
Chasing a cohesive thought.10 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Grrr....
there's nothing quite like the frustration
of inspiration unable
to capture the power of language
the ink that's spent
the blood that's let
and the tears that dry
on blank pages
and sheets of paper
crumpled
tossed in the desk-side
waste
basket
You have summed up a writers darkest hour - in true free form declaration!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Grrr....
there's nothing quite like the frustration
of inspiration unable
to capture the power of language
the ink that's spent
the blood that's let
and the tears that dry
on blank pages
and sheets of paper
crumpled
tossed in the desk-side
waste
basket
You have summed up a writers darkest hour - in true free form declaration!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Well written poetry. It makes me think that we are always think we could be better than who and what we are. There is always something we want to do to improve ourselves. Good luck with the contest
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Well written poetry. It makes me think that we are always think we could be better than who and what we are. There is always something we want to do to improve ourselves. Good luck with the contest
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Very interesting and well executed poem about writing. How many pages are flushed down the toilet before the writer finds the right story or poem? Good job, well written poem with attractive presentation.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Hello :)
Very interesting and well executed poem about writing. How many pages are flushed down the toilet before the writer finds the right story or poem? Good job, well written poem with attractive presentation.
Gypsy
Comment Written 15-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from MaBaker
I reckon,thanks for the artwork it almost took me away from your poem. I really shouldn't review poetry I don't know Jacks..t about it. As I don't write poetry I judge on what I like. I like yours. It was clean (correction fluid) and to the point. No typos that I could see. Regards MaBaker
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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I reckon,thanks for the artwork it almost took me away from your poem. I really shouldn't review poetry I don't know Jacks..t about it. As I don't write poetry I judge on what I like. I like yours. It was clean (correction fluid) and to the point. No typos that I could see. Regards MaBaker
Comment Written 15-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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Glad you liked it thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Joyce Long
This is cute. I don't know if you intended it for 'cute' or not. It reminds me of writing and writing and then rereading and not being happy with it. Then I have to start over. Surely that only happens to me and not others.
I certainly enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for sharing.
Joyce 11-14-15
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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This is cute. I don't know if you intended it for 'cute' or not. It reminds me of writing and writing and then rereading and not being happy with it. Then I have to start over. Surely that only happens to me and not others.
I certainly enjoyed reading this.
Thanks for sharing.
Joyce 11-14-15
Comment Written 15-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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Thanks for the great review.
Comment from rama devi
Splayed across
the
frayed ribbon
of
fading ink,
wasted words
taunt.
Wow--what a powerful opening! intense and effective. I love the resonant echo of assonant and consonance phonetics between splayed, frayed and fading and wasted.
Transfer complete,
yesterday's frustrations
glare
beyond the margins
of
blemished pages.
This is expressive, and I like the imagery of 'beyond margins' and blemished pages--very imaginative and well voiced.
Porous ideas pale(,)
swimming in correction fluid
as
they are flushed
down damnation's drain.
This is very powerful and also superbly well-phrased with alliteration of P and D and, assonance of I as well as consonance of S. (note one optional suggestion for smoother enjambment with a comma after pale).
Potent closing note:
Unraveling.
I'm sure every writer can relate to this write!
Best Wishes, rd
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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Splayed across
the
frayed ribbon
of
fading ink,
wasted words
taunt.
Wow--what a powerful opening! intense and effective. I love the resonant echo of assonant and consonance phonetics between splayed, frayed and fading and wasted.
Transfer complete,
yesterday's frustrations
glare
beyond the margins
of
blemished pages.
This is expressive, and I like the imagery of 'beyond margins' and blemished pages--very imaginative and well voiced.
Porous ideas pale(,)
swimming in correction fluid
as
they are flushed
down damnation's drain.
This is very powerful and also superbly well-phrased with alliteration of P and D and, assonance of I as well as consonance of S. (note one optional suggestion for smoother enjambment with a comma after pale).
Potent closing note:
Unraveling.
I'm sure every writer can relate to this write!
Best Wishes, rd
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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Thanks r d. Glad you liked it.
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:-))
Comment from Ronni
Sounds and reads like a lot of angst and anger in this poem. May be a
person or life situation. with both erratic and evolutionary imagery
throughout. A unique metamorphic effect and experience to read.
Thanks for sharing. Best of luck in contest. Ronni
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Sounds and reads like a lot of angst and anger in this poem. May be a
person or life situation. with both erratic and evolutionary imagery
throughout. A unique metamorphic effect and experience to read.
Thanks for sharing. Best of luck in contest. Ronni
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Thanks for the kind review.
Comment from gamay
hi Friend,
This is very wonderful poem you have written.
It is fit in the contest.
The photo is so unique and lovely.
Good luck.
Have a nice day,
God bless.
gamay
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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hi Friend,
This is very wonderful poem you have written.
It is fit in the contest.
The photo is so unique and lovely.
Good luck.
Have a nice day,
God bless.
gamay
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork for your poem.
-An interesting poem for the contest.
-You have used some good images and make good use of alliteration.
-I like the lines
"wasted words
taunt"
-It does seem true when writing and words don't come easily.
-Good image and alliteration with "down damnations drain." (damnation's)
-" Unraveling" is a good ending.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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-Good artwork for your poem.
-An interesting poem for the contest.
-You have used some good images and make good use of alliteration.
-I like the lines
"wasted words
taunt"
-It does seem true when writing and words don't come easily.
-Good image and alliteration with "down damnations drain." (damnation's)
-" Unraveling" is a good ending.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Thanks for the review and the good eye.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from ericawrites
This is a very good poem,
describes the frustration of writing,
when one is not happy with the result.
Well done and very best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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This is a very good poem,
describes the frustration of writing,
when one is not happy with the result.
Well done and very best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.