Chance Meeting
A moment of sweet recollection17 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
Passed (small 'p') me as I reached the door.
The (small 't') rustle of a summer dress.
A (small 'a') glimpse I caught within the glass.
Polite , (space) but firm (firmly? and a comma) she said, "Don't touch" (a period)
In your author's notes:
The thought came to me that she might not like having people traipsing through her little sanctuary (no comma), when I suddenly became aware of a Presence (small 'p') at my side.
Make sure you do your own research into edits, because I may be wrong.
I enjoyed the poem.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Passed (small 'p') me as I reached the door.
The (small 't') rustle of a summer dress.
A (small 'a') glimpse I caught within the glass.
Polite , (space) but firm (firmly? and a comma) she said, "Don't touch" (a period)
In your author's notes:
The thought came to me that she might not like having people traipsing through her little sanctuary (no comma), when I suddenly became aware of a Presence (small 'p') at my side.
Make sure you do your own research into edits, because I may be wrong.
I enjoyed the poem.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Dear Rasmine, Thank you for your review of my poem "Chance Meeting". The poem was written in a traditional way with Caps beginning every sentence. I have always written poetry this way and probably always will The capital on the word Presence indicates a special note. It wasn't a human presence as you have no doubt realised, but a ghostly one. I felt that a capital "P" would give this more emphasis. Thank you very much for taking the time to read my work. Your comments are most welcome. cheers Cass
Comment from I am Cat
That's right...
'don't touch'...
what a sweet, quiet poem which reaches out to grab you.
so well stated, and so understated as well, that one might not
notice how well it's written.
And with such a lovely, soft tone.
I truly enjoyed this wonderful little poem
that held such heart.
Congratulations on your nomination for Poem of the Month, Cass.
Cat
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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That's right...
'don't touch'...
what a sweet, quiet poem which reaches out to grab you.
so well stated, and so understated as well, that one might not
notice how well it's written.
And with such a lovely, soft tone.
I truly enjoyed this wonderful little poem
that held such heart.
Congratulations on your nomination for Poem of the Month, Cass.
Cat
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Dear Cat, Thank you for your review and the five stars. It is a very small poem , only eight lines, but it has had quite a marked response from readers. I was so surprised (and delighted) to learn it had been nominated for POTM. I don't expect to win, but simply being nominated is a huge buzz. Thanks again cheers Cass
Comment from azwildrosa
What a lovely poem. It has a wording about it that makes me think for a second that she's a genie in a bottle. Such polite, but firm. Reminds me of a mom with great patients. This was a great poem to read one worthy enough for poem of the month. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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What a lovely poem. It has a wording about it that makes me think for a second that she's a genie in a bottle. Such polite, but firm. Reminds me of a mom with great patients. This was a great poem to read one worthy enough for poem of the month. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Dear Friend, thank you for your review and the five stars. this poem has had a very warm response from FS members who all seem to find something in it that appeals to the ethereal side of their nature. She would have been a very sweet, but well behaved young lady who liked her things to be just "so". Thanks again cheers Cass
Comment from danpald
Sensitive the poem does read
Feeling the presence felt not seen
Thoughts of one who passed away
Came as I read the poem well displayed
Than the note did advise
Another feeling did abide
The feeling of imposing
When the young teenager came knowing
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015
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Sensitive the poem does read
Feeling the presence felt not seen
Thoughts of one who passed away
Came as I read the poem well displayed
Than the note did advise
Another feeling did abide
The feeling of imposing
When the young teenager came knowing
Comment Written 21-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015
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Dear Dan, Thankyou for your review and the five stars. You have caught what I wanted to convey, the sense of the presence of a departed soul, whose privacy I respected. She seemed very young , no more than 15 or 16, but with a gravity and assuredness beyond her years. Young girls way back then were taught to be more mature and sensible than the scatterbrained teenagers of today. (bless their hearts) thanks again , nice to hear from you .cheers Cass
Comment from Mark Valentine
A wonderful poem - love the story behind it. A worthy Poem of the month nominee. Having some adjectives and adverbs follow the nouns/verbs they modify gives it a classic feel .("footfall soft" and soft voice fell, but gently such").
Its brevity only adds to the sense of fleeting experience being described. Truly a great poem - I wish I had a six to appropriately reward it.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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A wonderful poem - love the story behind it. A worthy Poem of the month nominee. Having some adjectives and adverbs follow the nouns/verbs they modify gives it a classic feel .("footfall soft" and soft voice fell, but gently such").
Its brevity only adds to the sense of fleeting experience being described. Truly a great poem - I wish I had a six to appropriately reward it.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Dear Mark, thank you for your review and the five stars. Thank you also for your very kind comments on its construction.
There was another verse I had intended to write, as I loved doing this one and didn't want to leave it, but as soon as that last word was on the paper it STOPPED. that was IT So I obeyed (as one does with an autocratic Muse) and Voila! here 'tis.
cheers Cass
Comment from michaelcahill
My oh my! This is just a stunning surprise. I saw the nominees for poem of the month and out of fairness I thought I would take a look at yours. Wow. This is perfection. The rhythm of this is so smooth and the words flow incredibly well together. I'm almost speechless. This is written as well as anything can be written. I just read it over and over again. See, I'm just blathering. Hahaha. Won't the big name poets be surprised that you won my vote. :)) mikey
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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My oh my! This is just a stunning surprise. I saw the nominees for poem of the month and out of fairness I thought I would take a look at yours. Wow. This is perfection. The rhythm of this is so smooth and the words flow incredibly well together. I'm almost speechless. This is written as well as anything can be written. I just read it over and over again. See, I'm just blathering. Hahaha. Won't the big name poets be surprised that you won my vote. :)) mikey
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Dear Michael, thank you for your review and the SIX stars. Darling with words so dulcet and bewitching, blather to your heart's content. I'm listening with avid interest.. I was so surprised to learn I had ben nominated for P.OT M. Goodness me! and to think that when I joined FanStory in March. this year, I had no confidence or much belief in myself at all. Now if I find a Newbie I always make an effort to be supportive and encouraging just by way of sharing what I have received. thanks again Mikey . cheers Cass
Comment from Harold Clapsaddle
Gently firm, hum I wonder how such a voice would sound?? Is it the buzz of the bee before or after the sting? Interesting poem experienced by me many times. Disappointment is what follows next. :-))
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Gently firm, hum I wonder how such a voice would sound?? Is it the buzz of the bee before or after the sting? Interesting poem experienced by me many times. Disappointment is what follows next. :-))
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Dear Harold, thankyou for your review and the five stars. I am glad you enjoyed it cheers Cass
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My pleasure my dear :-))
Comment from Joy Graham
This poem gave me the chills. I had to read your author notes to confirm that I understood it correctly. Wow! That picture freaks me out LOL!!! Congratulations on being nominated for the Poem of the Month.
I like that you packed a huge amount of story into such a short poem. I tend to have a short attention span so this was great for me :) Most of your lines have lovely iambic tetrameter. If I'm correct you used a syllable scheme of 8/7/8/8 and 7/8/8/8. I like it. Nice aabb rhyme scheme throughout.
Good luck in the voting booth. This poem is a beauty!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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This poem gave me the chills. I had to read your author notes to confirm that I understood it correctly. Wow! That picture freaks me out LOL!!! Congratulations on being nominated for the Poem of the Month.
I like that you packed a huge amount of story into such a short poem. I tend to have a short attention span so this was great for me :) Most of your lines have lovely iambic tetrameter. If I'm correct you used a syllable scheme of 8/7/8/8 and 7/8/8/8. I like it. Nice aabb rhyme scheme throughout.
Good luck in the voting booth. This poem is a beauty!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Dear Joy, thank you for your review and the SIX stars. Thank you also for letting me know I have been nominated for Poem of the Month. Your comments on the rhyme scheme and meter in the poem are interesting. Although I seem to instinctively "know" when it's right, I am unable to write to order. The Muse speaks and I write it down. I have tried,( more than once) to pull Her into line, bur She pulls up short and lets me know in no uncertain way, who is the boss. Thus chastened I pick up the pen again and dutifully wait on Her voice to speak . This is how it has always been and probably always will be. Still, I have a great time writing , so I just go along with Her and enjoy. cheers Cass
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Cass. You just awarded me a sixer, and I am returning the favor to you after reading this lovely poem. I do identify with your words as having had similar experiences. You honored that request and what a gift to get it. Entire poem is great, especially:
"A murmured word , a brushing tress,
The rustle of a summer dress."
I read your interesting profile and see you are a fairly new member, having joined FS in the spring. Welcome. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Hi Cass. You just awarded me a sixer, and I am returning the favor to you after reading this lovely poem. I do identify with your words as having had similar experiences. You honored that request and what a gift to get it. Entire poem is great, especially:
"A murmured word , a brushing tress,
The rustle of a summer dress."
I read your interesting profile and see you are a fairly new member, having joined FS in the spring. Welcome. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Dear Marilyn , thank you for your review and the SIX stars. I have enjoyed FanStory greatly since joining last March, but I took a break just recently, due to some unwelcome intrusions from unpleasant people. All gone now, and I am back to reviewing and sharing with a renewed enjoyment . It surprised me how people reacted to this poem. Many have confessed to having similar experiences, while others have let me know they think me slightly "fey" (How right they are , but more than slightly would be closer to the facts ) Thanks again for your comments cheers Cass
Comment from Dutchie
Hi Cass, I recognize those feelings and this experience. I think you are a high sensitive person, you easily pick up this things. I think the girl is not so pleased with all the visitors, touching all her private things.. Well written and I'm happy I have still a six left. Fia
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Hi Cass, I recognize those feelings and this experience. I think you are a high sensitive person, you easily pick up this things. I think the girl is not so pleased with all the visitors, touching all her private things.. Well written and I'm happy I have still a six left. Fia
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Dear Dutchie, thankyou for your review and the SIX stars. Oops, my vibolator is showing is it? Yes, I do "pick up " things as you put it, and sometimes with some startling results. I was in a beautiful home in Melbourne called " Como" where we were being shown through the games room next to the ballroom. As I passed a cupboard where cups and other rowing paraphernalia were, I felt a "pull". The guide went on with her patter informing us that a member of the illustrious family whose house it was , had fallen into disreputable ways and taken his own life in this very room. He had been a champion rower for his college. Before she told us his name I could have told her. Peek-a-boo. cheers Cass