Comment from Benjamin Valencia

Excellent

Hi..Neat alliteration because of its rhythm. You have a solid beginning with the 'bubbling brain bursting with thought' I like the muddled mind concept the best because I know all readers can identify with this feeling. Good luck in the contest and cheers.

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thank you Benjamin for reading this piece ( my first attempt) so a little unsure how it would go. And yes a muddled mind is often the case but it is fun thinking up stuff. ( good or bad it's been a great place) so thanks again and appreciate your time Cheers

Comment from royowen

Excellent

You have certainly fulfilled all the requirements of the contest, very clever alliteration, the rhyming is spot on, an altogether good entry in this poetry alliteration contest, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thank you Roy for your great review and rating. Wasn't sure if this was what was required, but I have some great feedback so perhaps not too bad fun trying and learning all the time have a great day Cheers

reply by royowen on 14-Aug-2015

I think you did!

reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Will give it another try soon Cheers

reply by royowen on 14-Aug-2015

Well done

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

Looks like a very good attempt to me (though I have never tried one myself). Form and syllable counts are correct, according to contest rules. The process of going from inspiration to confusion sounds familiar to me. Good luck in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
P.S. I like the photo, and upside down does seem appropriate.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks Jeanie for your encouraging review and rating for this Alliterisen. One can only have a go lol . Yes the photo scanned into FS upside down and I thought it appropriate to leave it like that. So thanks for your time and comments Cheers

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Alliterisen Altercation

Excellent entry for the Rhyming Alliterisen Contest. Good job with the syllable count. The poem in it self is funny and clever, good format. Well done my friend!

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thank Gypsy Blue Rose for your lovely feedback and I'm glad it seems to fit the requirements appreciate your comments Cheers

Comment from lightink

Excellent

This works very well! In this case, alliteration is supporting the portrayal of a mental space, and the effect is really good: almost like being stuck at an abstract place where the music of words determine everything yet the meaning behind the word is getting through the cracks! At least, this is how I interpret it! :)
Good lick at the contest!

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Yes that's about it in a nut shell thanks for your great interpretation and for your time to read this appreciate this very much Cheers

Comment from starkat

Excellent

This is a clever, thought provoking alliterisen filled with fun and interesting alliterations along with some solid rhymes. You packed a lot into only 7 silly bells per line. It makes sense that such a muddled mind will have trouble coming up with visioned verse.

suggestions -
clever clues coming (to) mind {not 'too'}
somehow {one word}

Fascinating poem and picture of the upside down guy with his bubbling brain bursting with thought.

Enjoyed your poem. Excellent contest entry.
Cheers ... ;o)

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks stark at for your great review and rating for this poem and also for you helpful suggestions I never know when to put to or too so thanks I appreciate your reading and giving me feedback Always a bit of fun to try something new Cheers

Comment from tennesseerose

Good

I chose 4 stars because the first 2 lines each have 8 syllables. After that, I'm lost, not due to your writing, but to confusion concerning the style. Alliterisen (the repetition of a singular beginning sound over several words that are in proximity to one another). Not sure on this...if you can explain, please help me!
Anyway, the rhyming scheme is perfect! I think this may be not bad for a first try...

Good luck!

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks tennesseerose for your feedback. I did check syllable counters a few times but some say 7 and others 8 but appreciate your call on this one as I usually just go with how I sound things out. And will review the Alliterisen requirements a bit further so I know exactly how they should be written , but had fun trying and really value your input so thanks again Cheers

reply by tennesseerose on 14-Aug-2015

You're welcome.