To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Ashes To Dust"Free Verse Poetry
12 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your poem meaningful. The black/white presentation is perfect. Each word has a purpose not just filler words. Good job on that part. The antonym part would have made a good entry--I am thinking you could not enter since you had entered 2 already for the week?
Good job. I see no changes. Good luck in the contest.
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Your poem meaningful. The black/white presentation is perfect. Each word has a purpose not just filler words. Good job on that part. The antonym part would have made a good entry--I am thinking you could not enter since you had entered 2 already for the week?
Good job. I see no changes. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from Tatarka2
Well - I'm not sure how this relates to the "nature" theme. It is powerful, however. I've now read it three times. The alternative form is very effective here, and draws the reader to the message, I think. I have no suggestions as to how you could improve it. I think you've said exactly what you mean to say, and in a very powerful way, too. I'm just not sure it follows the prompt.
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Well - I'm not sure how this relates to the "nature" theme. It is powerful, however. I've now read it three times. The alternative form is very effective here, and draws the reader to the message, I think. I have no suggestions as to how you could improve it. I think you've said exactly what you mean to say, and in a very powerful way, too. I'm just not sure it follows the prompt.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
Amazing piece. I am pleased you missed the other contest though i think your antonym portion of this stood a strong chance of winning. The expansion adds so much nuance. Gets better every read. The winner.
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Amazing piece. I am pleased you missed the other contest though i think your antonym portion of this stood a strong chance of winning. The expansion adds so much nuance. Gets better every read. The winner.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a poem that begins and ends with a curious vagueness about intent and point of view. Whether the narrator is of my mindset, trying to comprehend another's logic or lack of sense, or whether the point of view is askew from mine and the coming suicide is a noble and fitting deed. Curious.
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This is a poem that begins and ends with a curious vagueness about intent and point of view. Whether the narrator is of my mindset, trying to comprehend another's logic or lack of sense, or whether the point of view is askew from mine and the coming suicide is a noble and fitting deed. Curious.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from patcelaw
This is a powerful message about what is happening in our world today. Good luck in this contest. Blessings for a good weekend, Patricia
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This is a powerful message about what is happening in our world today. Good luck in this contest. Blessings for a good weekend, Patricia
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from Jean Lutz
Timely message for current events. It will take changing hearts to bring about peace. It looks like planet Earth is a ticking time-bomb. I wish you well with this entry.
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Timely message for current events. It will take changing hearts to bring about peace. It looks like planet Earth is a ticking time-bomb. I wish you well with this entry.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Yes, I too like your expanded antonym poem. Very dramatic and the black and white adds to the drama of the piece. Nicely done, and a great ending. Good luck in the contest.
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Yes, I too like your expanded antonym poem. Very dramatic and the black and white adds to the drama of the piece. Nicely done, and a great ending. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from Eric1
And what a brilliant job you have made of it! This is a really brilliant piece of perfect free verse and well worthy as an entry into this competition.
I like the way you have structured it, and your use of description and imagery is outstanding.
Good luck in the contest my friend.
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And what a brilliant job you have made of it! This is a really brilliant piece of perfect free verse and well worthy as an entry into this competition.
I like the way you have structured it, and your use of description and imagery is outstanding.
Good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This piece just feel angry as though you are pissed off at a philosophy instead of a certain person. I've never seen this style so I thought that was kinda cool. Good luck in your contest. This one is unique. Kiwi
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This piece just feel angry as though you are pissed off at a philosophy instead of a certain person. I've never seen this style so I thought that was kinda cool. Good luck in your contest. This one is unique. Kiwi
Comment Written 07-May-2015
Comment from Jackarrie
Great sentiments in this free verse poem. Very difficult to understand the mind of the bomber who wants to kill innocents including himself, brainwashed no doubt.
Well written, good luck in the contest
Mary
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Great sentiments in this free verse poem. Very difficult to understand the mind of the bomber who wants to kill innocents including himself, brainwashed no doubt.
Well written, good luck in the contest
Mary
Comment Written 07-May-2015