Will You Play With Me?
A contest entry26 total reviews
Comment from Zue65
Kidnapping a child in broad daylight, in full view of many onlookers, among parents of the children watching the merry go round. The criminals are so brazenly brave and callous to pull off such a criminal act. That made your very short story a bit interesting. Very smartly written. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Kidnapping a child in broad daylight, in full view of many onlookers, among parents of the children watching the merry go round. The criminals are so brazenly brave and callous to pull off such a criminal act. That made your very short story a bit interesting. Very smartly written. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Thank you for the great review. John
Comment from Louise Michelle
Oh, my, this story really gets the emotions going. I get very upset when I read about child abuse, and that certainly is implied at the ending. Very well written. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Oh, my, this story really gets the emotions going. I get very upset when I read about child abuse, and that certainly is implied at the ending. Very well written. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Thank you Lou. I appreciate you reading this and reviewing. John
Comment from bob cullen
Gee this is good. You have set up a situation, identified a number of characters, established tension and then applied a twist at the ending.
This is a complete story and it's only one hundred words. You are brilliant. Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Gee this is good. You have set up a situation, identified a number of characters, established tension and then applied a twist at the ending.
This is a complete story and it's only one hundred words. You are brilliant. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 13-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Wow. I've been called many things in my life, but brilliant was never one of them. Thank you!
John
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, John, that is every mother and father's nightmare. It happens too often. I just don't know what I would have done if one of my sons had been taken that way. And I still worry about my grandchildren now. There are some pretty nasty people out there. Good luck in the contest, my friend. xsx sandra
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Oh, John, that is every mother and father's nightmare. It happens too often. I just don't know what I would have done if one of my sons had been taken that way. And I still worry about my grandchildren now. There are some pretty nasty people out there. Good luck in the contest, my friend. xsx sandra
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Your so right.
Thank you for reading, Sandra. John
Comment from mfowler
Oh, my, this is horrible. And of course it has to be for this prompt. You capture the kidnapping and the tension created by the pedophile in an eerie way, right down to the tinted glass. Good use of dialogue to give the characters dimension and the story quick detail. Very well done.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Oh, my, this is horrible. And of course it has to be for this prompt. You capture the kidnapping and the tension created by the pedophile in an eerie way, right down to the tinted glass. Good use of dialogue to give the characters dimension and the story quick detail. Very well done.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Wow, great review, thanks so much. John
Comment from Sasha
Excellent work with this one. You tell a frightening story and I like that you leave it to the reader to complete the ending. Great entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Excellent work with this one. You tell a frightening story and I like that you leave it to the reader to complete the ending. Great entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thank you Valarie. Always appreciated. John
Comment from joann r romei
wooo, this was scary, and read like a true event, so many kids get kidnapped, i shudder to think of the nuts out there stalking and waiting,
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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wooo, this was scary, and read like a true event, so many kids get kidnapped, i shudder to think of the nuts out there stalking and waiting,
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Wow. Thank you for your "stellar" reward for this story. I'm glad you liked it. John
Comment from Dean Kuch
Oops. It seems that little Amanda has gotten herself into a bit of a pickle, not to mention a nondescript van with tinted windows.
Therein lies the danger, one would surmise.
Well done, good luck...~Dean
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Oops. It seems that little Amanda has gotten herself into a bit of a pickle, not to mention a nondescript van with tinted windows.
Therein lies the danger, one would surmise.
Well done, good luck...~Dean
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thank you, Dean. I appreciate your stopping to read. John
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No worries, mate. :)
Comment from MelB
One of the most horrifying things that could happen to a child. This is suspenseful and shows how fast a predator can snatch a child. Now, they have about an hour to find the child alive. Absolutely terrifying!
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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One of the most horrifying things that could happen to a child. This is suspenseful and shows how fast a predator can snatch a child. Now, they have about an hour to find the child alive. Absolutely terrifying!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thank you MelB. John
Comment from jpduck
A real story in one hundred words -- nicely done, even without any resolution. But that's OK; that was allowed. For the life of me I could not understand why 'His hand covers his mouth.' Good luck with the contest.
Adrian
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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A real story in one hundred words -- nicely done, even without any resolution. But that's OK; that was allowed. For the life of me I could not understand why 'His hand covers his mouth.' Good luck with the contest.
Adrian
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thank you . John