To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "First Kiss, Last Kiss"Free Verse Poetry
12 total reviews
Comment from nordicgirl
Very lovely sentiment here. I love the presentation also which in this case enhances an already powerful wording. Excellent.
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Very lovely sentiment here. I love the presentation also which in this case enhances an already powerful wording. Excellent.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2015
Comment from patcelaw
Congrats on the tie in the contest. I was one of the votes you got. Many blessings for a good weekend and a good week ahead. Patricia
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Congrats on the tie in the contest. I was one of the votes you got. Many blessings for a good weekend and a good week ahead. Patricia
Comment Written 14-Mar-2015
Comment from happykat4
All words were used in the poem. The repeating of the first few lines was excellent. It is the beggining and also the end. I thought the artwork fit and was very beautiful. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015
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All words were used in the poem. The repeating of the first few lines was excellent. It is the beggining and also the end. I thought the artwork fit and was very beautiful. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015
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Thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and found the presentation to your liking!
Comment from Janet7053
Contest guidelines were met.
The mirroring of the two verses was well thought out because those adjectives had to describe both the first and last kiss.
Excellent in presentation with the two pictures, the red font and the silhouette.
Beautiful lines, "Love's calm, sweet balm..."
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015
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Contest guidelines were met.
The mirroring of the two verses was well thought out because those adjectives had to describe both the first and last kiss.
Excellent in presentation with the two pictures, the red font and the silhouette.
Beautiful lines, "Love's calm, sweet balm..."
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015
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So pleased you enjoyed. Thank you very much. I liked those lines too. :)
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good poem. I like the red writing on a black background. The photograph of two people kissing and the white rose at the end also gave the poem a very good look. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
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This is a good poem. I like the red writing on a black background. The photograph of two people kissing and the white rose at the end also gave the poem a very good look. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015
Comment from Ricky1024
Thanks for this! as I truly believe...
"The Kiss" or "last Kiss" is a true way to find a mate."
"Through the "Kiss!"
"You can seek the Soul!"
"And when you do...
"Through the 'Windows of the Soul'...
"The Kiss" will always be true!"
Thanks,
Ricky1024.
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Thanks for this! as I truly believe...
"The Kiss" or "last Kiss" is a true way to find a mate."
"Through the "Kiss!"
"You can seek the Soul!"
"And when you do...
"Through the 'Windows of the Soul'...
"The Kiss" will always be true!"
Thanks,
Ricky1024.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, this is not only very beautiful in presentation, but beautiful in sentiment too - that first kiss - so tender, so sexy, the last one so devoted, so sad...a clever and lovely interpretation of this prompt...Best of luck with this romantic poem.
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Wow, this is not only very beautiful in presentation, but beautiful in sentiment too - that first kiss - so tender, so sexy, the last one so devoted, so sad...a clever and lovely interpretation of this prompt...Best of luck with this romantic poem.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015
Comment from 242Stratford
This poem reminded me too much of the Bachelor Show. They all go around kissing each other and it ends just as soon as it begins. I do not understand the riot of fear. It would help if you could explain what you are trying to get across.
It sounds as if there was never any trust between the two people to begin with.
242Stratford
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015
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This poem reminded me too much of the Bachelor Show. They all go around kissing each other and it ends just as soon as it begins. I do not understand the riot of fear. It would help if you could explain what you are trying to get across.
It sounds as if there was never any trust between the two people to begin with.
242Stratford
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015
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This is really a simple piece to be honest. It starts off with the first kiss between a couple. A "Riot of fear" would indicate that he is really nervous and apprehensive about kissing this girl he is madly in love with, what will her response be etc. She responds with love and thus a life long relationship begins.
The last kiss is her on her death bed, now the fear is of his life without her. The kiss is still meaningful because they love each other as much as they did when they first met.
It is the first kiss and the last kiss between two soul mates.
I don't know what is in the poem that leads you to believe there is no trust between them. I would really like to know that so I can perhaps correct it to avoid confusion.
It also appears that the poem gives the impression that there are several people running around kissing each other when there is only one couple. I would also appreciate any help you could offer to make it clear that it is just one couple and not a bunch of silly people on a mindless television show.
A two star rating indicates a piece that is extremely poorly written and in need of major changes and improvements. Please let me know what you think I could do to improve this.
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I completely didn't get it and apologize.
You deserve to have A FIVE STAR RATING.
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No problem. Happens to me all the time. Hell, I thought Waterworld was a great movie. Hahaha!
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You can change the rating by the way. Just call up the poem and go down to where the review is and click on the stars and you can update it. A lot of reviewers do that when they offer corrections. Then if the poet revises, they review again and upgrade. I see you're new. Be careful with the stars. We're all a bunch of big babies when it comes to stars. Two stars is like telling a chick "those jeans DO make your butt look big." Hahaha. Welcome!
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Dear michaelcahill, thank you so much for telling me just how important the stars are to these writers. 242Stratford
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No problem.
Comment from EmiShimi
I loved this poem, I love how you rhymed everything. This poem was marvelous, you are doing great as a poet. Keep on writing :).
-EmiShimi
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I loved this poem, I love how you rhymed everything. This poem was marvelous, you are doing great as a poet. Keep on writing :).
-EmiShimi
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015
Comment from SimplyK
I liked the presentation of your poem which has challenged me to try and ramp up my creativity a bit. I never get the colours right but this red looks awesome against the black and gives a touch of the bordello as an overall effect.
I love the way you have the symmetry in the two parts of the poem, and echo those inclusive words twice. That's clever. Simple and neat, enjoyed it. Thank you
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I liked the presentation of your poem which has challenged me to try and ramp up my creativity a bit. I never get the colours right but this red looks awesome against the black and gives a touch of the bordello as an overall effect.
I love the way you have the symmetry in the two parts of the poem, and echo those inclusive words twice. That's clever. Simple and neat, enjoyed it. Thank you
Comment Written 12-Mar-2015