Life surfing
Things happen9 total reviews
Comment from Tatarka2
This was beautiful, and inspirational. Thank you for sharing this little piece of your story. I know many will read it and take heart, and for that I thank you. I'm not sure about the line "tried my body to enslave." It feels a bit forced, I'm afraid. Also, while I did love the last stanza, it seemed not to fit with the rest of the poem, which have short lines and words.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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This was beautiful, and inspirational. Thank you for sharing this little piece of your story. I know many will read it and take heart, and for that I thank you. I'm not sure about the line "tried my body to enslave." It feels a bit forced, I'm afraid. Also, while I did love the last stanza, it seemed not to fit with the rest of the poem, which have short lines and words.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your thoughtful, encouraging revue.The phrase "tried my body to enslave" actually refers to the cancer cells that have reappeared.You are quite correct in pointing out that the last stanza is different. In my mind it is going to take longer to reach the shore.
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Thanks for the explanation. Now, I understand it much better. I wish you the best in your battle with cancer, and I will pray for continued good health for you.
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. I love the author notes. Life does that to us. We are on a wave of happiness when another wave sends us crashing down. God saves us and we can find another wave of happiness. Great work.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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I love the picture. I love the poem. I love the author notes. Life does that to us. We are on a wave of happiness when another wave sends us crashing down. God saves us and we can find another wave of happiness. Great work.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your great comments and empathy.
Comment from gypsymoth
Excellent metaphor, the ocean, like life can overtake us.
Glad to know that in the end , you made it through.
Cypsymoth
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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Excellent metaphor, the ocean, like life can overtake us.
Glad to know that in the end , you made it through.
Cypsymoth
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your appreciation of my metaphor I am in the process of making it through.
Comment from NadineM
Your poem seems to speak of tragedy and pain but being renewed with hope and determination to overcome the odds. This is a powerful message, and inspiring. Would be interesting to know what happened... You used some alliteration in your lines which always adds to writing appeal.
Best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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Your poem seems to speak of tragedy and pain but being renewed with hope and determination to overcome the odds. This is a powerful message, and inspiring. Would be interesting to know what happened... You used some alliteration in your lines which always adds to writing appeal.
Best wishes in the contest. Thanks for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Nadine, for your detailed complimentary revue. I crested the wave when an old friend proposed to me ( I am recently widowed after 50 years of marriage); the dumping of the wave is a recurrence of a cancerous tumour which i will have surgically removed this week.
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Wow, the highs and lows of life, how they can throw us! Congratulations on the proposal and special prayers said for your upcoming surgery and recovery. Thanks for sharing your story... Take care... Nadine
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Thank you Nadine. I'll be off line for about 4 weeks, the surgery is very invasive, but I'll be back.
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God bless... Nadine
Comment from Patti R.
You've written a beautiful poem. And I do wish you luck in the contest.
But you've labeled it biographical - and I certainly hope this doesn't mean what I think it means, my dear. Keep writing. You've found friends here on FS.
Patti
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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You've written a beautiful poem. And I do wish you luck in the contest.
But you've labeled it biographical - and I certainly hope this doesn't mean what I think it means, my dear. Keep writing. You've found friends here on FS.
Patti
Comment Written 23-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2015
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Thanks Patti. At the age of 75 I have become engaged, having lost my husband of 50 years last year. The wave dumping is the recurrence of a cancerous tumour which will be surgically removed this week. I am determined to surf again! I appreciate your warm review and your frienship
Comment from Jean Lutz
So many ways to give a testimony. I am glad your life was spared and that you use your unique talent to tell of it. For a time such as this? Best wishes with the entry.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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So many ways to give a testimony. I am glad your life was spared and that you use your unique talent to tell of it. For a time such as this? Best wishes with the entry.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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I am encouraged by your compliment and good wishes. Thank you.
Comment from Hamishley
I know you will catch every wave for I feel the strength in you 'to surf evermore'. Your happiness will return and the rag from the washing machine will be dried and pressed to its meaningful shape.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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I know you will catch every wave for I feel the strength in you 'to surf evermore'. Your happiness will return and the rag from the washing machine will be dried and pressed to its meaningful shape.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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With support like yours it is a given that I will continue surfing.
Comment from ravim
Persevere!
I would've preferred to change the title, so it matches (let the No Rules Contest get a twist of sorts :))
Very impressive. I love how you pick the challenges of surfing to real life situations.
Great imagery, rhyme scheme.
The last stanza had double the number of syllables. May be it took time to reach ashore. lol
I really enjoyed this piece. Perseverance is what it takes.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2015
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Persevere!
I would've preferred to change the title, so it matches (let the No Rules Contest get a twist of sorts :))
Very impressive. I love how you pick the challenges of surfing to real life situations.
Great imagery, rhyme scheme.
The last stanza had double the number of syllables. May be it took time to reach ashore. lol
I really enjoyed this piece. Perseverance is what it takes.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2015
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Thank you for your detailed, positive comments.i doubled the number os syllables in the last stanza because the shock of the occurrence needed a double brandy!
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:) Sober, sober!
Comment from patcelaw
I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be overtaken by a giant wave. I don't go to the ocean. The few times I have been on the beach, I feel dirty and don't feel clean until I can get a shower.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2015
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I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be overtaken by a giant wave. I don't go to the ocean. The few times I have been on the beach, I feel dirty and don't feel clean until I can get a shower.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2015
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I am glad i gave you a sense of being dumped by a giant wave. Thank you for a great review.