To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Sunrise Sunset"Free Verse Poetry
22 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Michael,
my desire was to come to this party with a six for something so wonderfully cryptic and different... I've read this more than a few times and have touched on a couple of different interpretations... my favorite though... was the journey one takes when it is out of his/her control... just floating in the currents of a tidal expression... experiencing the cycle of life inside the good,the bad and ugly... dreams altered and given another direction to seek out... look, I'm just engaged with the totally unique way you have chosen to develop this creation... I followed with intent and enjoyed each read... I believe it flowed magically in an interesting format to show the visual of the journey... sometimes straight, and others changing directions... I enjoyed the read very much!
All the best in this prompt contest for those with free verse and open minds.
With our thoughts we create,
an alternative direction,
James.
******Stars!!!!!!
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Hi Michael,
my desire was to come to this party with a six for something so wonderfully cryptic and different... I've read this more than a few times and have touched on a couple of different interpretations... my favorite though... was the journey one takes when it is out of his/her control... just floating in the currents of a tidal expression... experiencing the cycle of life inside the good,the bad and ugly... dreams altered and given another direction to seek out... look, I'm just engaged with the totally unique way you have chosen to develop this creation... I followed with intent and enjoyed each read... I believe it flowed magically in an interesting format to show the visual of the journey... sometimes straight, and others changing directions... I enjoyed the read very much!
All the best in this prompt contest for those with free verse and open minds.
With our thoughts we create,
an alternative direction,
James.
******Stars!!!!!!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
Comment from ravenblack
I am glad that you stretched your wings with this. As you know, I used to stagger my lines and I really don't know why I stopped. I think I was just sick of struggling with the "advanced editor" and it just stuck. The morning glory bottled, not opening, hermetically sealed. Hope is gone when the essence of glory is bottled/protected. And there are reasons for protection. How can It be free? The icebergs melt (global warming) , the bottle is free but the cork master (God ?) Is extinct. And what is there to do? Push up the daisy, send in the acme steam roller, flatten and flat world- lunacy. And the earth spins..as do the bottles. And no time or inclination to kiss. Excellent free Verse.
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I am glad that you stretched your wings with this. As you know, I used to stagger my lines and I really don't know why I stopped. I think I was just sick of struggling with the "advanced editor" and it just stuck. The morning glory bottled, not opening, hermetically sealed. Hope is gone when the essence of glory is bottled/protected. And there are reasons for protection. How can It be free? The icebergs melt (global warming) , the bottle is free but the cork master (God ?) Is extinct. And what is there to do? Push up the daisy, send in the acme steam roller, flatten and flat world- lunacy. And the earth spins..as do the bottles. And no time or inclination to kiss. Excellent free Verse.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
Comment from Nosha17
Free verse is a bit hard for me to fathom, not being a great exponent or proponent of the form. I presume this is the day in the life of a seed or other product of Earth which either manages to survive all the trials of the day or is crushed beneath. Well chosen words and imagery-sorry if I sound a bit negative, but rhyming is my greatest love and you do it so well-we are a dying breed. Good luck in the contest. Faye
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Free verse is a bit hard for me to fathom, not being a great exponent or proponent of the form. I presume this is the day in the life of a seed or other product of Earth which either manages to survive all the trials of the day or is crushed beneath. Well chosen words and imagery-sorry if I sound a bit negative, but rhyming is my greatest love and you do it so well-we are a dying breed. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
Comment from MelB
Good descriptive lines, good use of alliteration. I don't know if they will get you for the straight line rule, but I love the layout of this poem. A very nice contest entry.
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Good descriptive lines, good use of alliteration. I don't know if they will get you for the straight line rule, but I love the layout of this poem. A very nice contest entry.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
Comment from madhatter1977
This is excellent free verse and I love the way it's laid out too. You have a seafaring theme yet it seems to allude to love and finding your way on the journey, be it on a boat or life in general. Should have a great chance in the contest, Mikey. Best wishes for that, Pete :)
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This is excellent free verse and I love the way it's laid out too. You have a seafaring theme yet it seems to allude to love and finding your way on the journey, be it on a boat or life in general. Should have a great chance in the contest, Mikey. Best wishes for that, Pete :)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Something a little different which
is interesting - the presentation works
well - I've written quite a few in this
style myself over time. I quite like it.
A good contender for the contest - good luck to you, Michael.
Margaret
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Something a little different which
is interesting - the presentation works
well - I've written quite a few in this
style myself over time. I quite like it.
A good contender for the contest - good luck to you, Michael.
Margaret
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
Comment from Dawny53
When I read this poem for the first time I contemplated the straight lines rule.. and it didn't take me long to realize you are indeed sticking to the rules because the lines are straight. I keep coming back to the beluga whale every time I read this poem.. and dna..and extinction.
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When I read this poem for the first time I contemplated the straight lines rule.. and it didn't take me long to realize you are indeed sticking to the rules because the lines are straight. I keep coming back to the beluga whale every time I read this poem.. and dna..and extinction.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
Comment from krys123
Mikey; The extent of your free verse poem is excellently written and also very impressively described and expressed. At times I felt a defeatist attitude or an attitude which was composed of someone's lifeless encounter with their own fate: "...a daisy grew/the acme steamroller flattened the bum/who picked in hope..". Sounds like the wild coyote in a defeatist attitude, trying to kill the road runner. An interesting concept and well established. Good luck in the contest and may the Lord be with you Mikey.
Alex
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Mikey; The extent of your free verse poem is excellently written and also very impressively described and expressed. At times I felt a defeatist attitude or an attitude which was composed of someone's lifeless encounter with their own fate: "...a daisy grew/the acme steamroller flattened the bum/who picked in hope..". Sounds like the wild coyote in a defeatist attitude, trying to kill the road runner. An interesting concept and well established. Good luck in the contest and may the Lord be with you Mikey.
Alex
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
Comment from CR Delport
Geez, Mike. This sounds deep and very philosophical, but it is very well done and very well presented. Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
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Geez, Mike. This sounds deep and very philosophical, but it is very well done and very well presented. Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
Comment from sgalletti
I really love this free verse poem Mikey! It is refreshing to see a poet use so many poetic devices - consonance, scattered rhyme, metaphor and imagery - so well. Often I read words gob-smacked on a page with no deeper meaning. I have to say I also get disturbed when I see a whole lot of "trickery" with placement of words on the page and colors and whatever. But, in your poem it works. Well done! Good luck in the contest. Sue
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I really love this free verse poem Mikey! It is refreshing to see a poet use so many poetic devices - consonance, scattered rhyme, metaphor and imagery - so well. Often I read words gob-smacked on a page with no deeper meaning. I have to say I also get disturbed when I see a whole lot of "trickery" with placement of words on the page and colors and whatever. But, in your poem it works. Well done! Good luck in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015