To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Par For Prey"Free Verse Poetry
16 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Mike,
the game's always been rigged, it's when, in these times... the lean times we see the true gap between the haves and have-nots, but it's all an illusion, nothing changes, just the date and time... really liked your off-beat approach to an out of beat society.
Not sure what 'tihyozepn' in brackets is, but for sure I'm going to find out.
All the very best in the contest, a very 'different', authentic and original write.
With our thoughts we create,
a balancing act,
James,
  |
Hi Mike,
the game's always been rigged, it's when, in these times... the lean times we see the true gap between the haves and have-nots, but it's all an illusion, nothing changes, just the date and time... really liked your off-beat approach to an out of beat society.
Not sure what 'tihyozepn' in brackets is, but for sure I'm going to find out.
All the very best in the contest, a very 'different', authentic and original write.
With our thoughts we create,
a balancing act,
James,
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
Comment from seaglass
I agree, Big money bought off democracy. The ultra-wealthy not have or keep wealth without all the hard working people who keep society going. We are close to becoming the
Lords/Serfs society. Such a shame. The founding fathers did not intend the country to be like this.
Poor rabbit, looks like the kind of pets I always adopt. lol
(three legged dog, blind cat, deaf cat)
I love the graphic showing who the real "entitled" are.
|
I agree, Big money bought off democracy. The ultra-wealthy not have or keep wealth without all the hard working people who keep society going. We are close to becoming the
Lords/Serfs society. Such a shame. The founding fathers did not intend the country to be like this.
Poor rabbit, looks like the kind of pets I always adopt. lol
(three legged dog, blind cat, deaf cat)
I love the graphic showing who the real "entitled" are.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2015
Comment from CR Delport
Mikey, it is not just in the US, here by us it is even worse. The rich gets richer and the poor suffer more every day. Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
|
Mikey, it is not just in the US, here by us it is even worse. The rich gets richer and the poor suffer more every day. Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2015
Comment from Nosha17
There can never be a level playing field even though the Left thinks there should be. I agree it is too uneven, but money and material objects being the object of most people's desires make people greedy and want more. If people lived within their means and had simpler lifestyles the divide wouldn't bother them so much. Good, clear message and choice of words. Good luck in the contest. Faye
|
There can never be a level playing field even though the Left thinks there should be. I agree it is too uneven, but money and material objects being the object of most people's desires make people greedy and want more. If people lived within their means and had simpler lifestyles the divide wouldn't bother them so much. Good, clear message and choice of words. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 31-Jan-2015
Comment from Patti R.
Damn, Michael. I hate to give you a four. But is it Par for Prey or Pay for Prey? The end where you split up the letters and write mutated next to the sign - is that supposed to say love/lived? You missed the i.
What the heck is the word in brackets in white in the middle of the whole pot of stew. I'm sorry, my friend, this one is either over my head (and I tried, dammit I tried) or is it simply not cohesive due to being in a hurry?
Patti
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2015
 |
Damn, Michael. I hate to give you a four. But is it Par for Prey or Pay for Prey? The end where you split up the letters and write mutated next to the sign - is that supposed to say love/lived? You missed the i.
What the heck is the word in brackets in white in the middle of the whole pot of stew. I'm sorry, my friend, this one is either over my head (and I tried, dammit I tried) or is it simply not cohesive due to being in a hurry?
Patti
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2015
-
Pay was a typo I thought was corrected. I don't see it anywhere. Is it showing up somewhere? Should be "par". Next to mutated is "evolved". The word in brackets is just for fun, (hypnotized). No hurry. :)) Possibly incoherent to others. Hahaha! mikey
Comment from Spitfire
Geez! You and Glasstruth. I have to read several times to puzzle this out. The notes helped. Great opening taking us back to Lincoln's simpler times. What's clear is the disparity between the rich and the poor. As you say at the end, we're clearly out of focus. What a paradox.
|
Geez! You and Glasstruth. I have to read several times to puzzle this out. The notes helped. Great opening taking us back to Lincoln's simpler times. What's clear is the disparity between the rich and the poor. As you say at the end, we're clearly out of focus. What a paradox.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from Tatarka2
I had to read through it twice, and I'm still not sure I've gotten all of the messages here. I think this is very powerful. Your use of the alternative form within the poem, and the alliteration within the poem added so much to the power of this piece. I wasn't sure about "compassion's fashion faux pas," because I wasn't sure of the meaning of this phrase or how it belongs in the poem. I's sure it's just that I don't get it. I loved the ending of this poem, which is made complete with the picture. This is uniquely your own style. So well done.
|
I had to read through it twice, and I'm still not sure I've gotten all of the messages here. I think this is very powerful. Your use of the alternative form within the poem, and the alliteration within the poem added so much to the power of this piece. I wasn't sure about "compassion's fashion faux pas," because I wasn't sure of the meaning of this phrase or how it belongs in the poem. I's sure it's just that I don't get it. I loved the ending of this poem, which is made complete with the picture. This is uniquely your own style. So well done.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from Loren (7)
Mikey, I've got to think about this one for a while. I know it's a political statement, possibly said in a sardonic tone, and most likely critical of the current situation we find ourselves in and most assuredly (I' free to think) aptly expressed. :) Loren
|
Mikey, I've got to think about this one for a while. I know it's a political statement, possibly said in a sardonic tone, and most likely critical of the current situation we find ourselves in and most assuredly (I' free to think) aptly expressed. :) Loren
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from ravenblack
If I had a six! Did you know that the top one percent globally own 50% of the world's assets? Coyly philanthropic injurious illusions, the little trickle down gifts. It does not matter. It won't be fixed. Any talk of leveling the playing field slightly falls to the devolved beast, one eye left and one right like a warring brain with no governing function. And we all shut up and eat our karets.
|
If I had a six! Did you know that the top one percent globally own 50% of the world's assets? Coyly philanthropic injurious illusions, the little trickle down gifts. It does not matter. It won't be fixed. Any talk of leveling the playing field slightly falls to the devolved beast, one eye left and one right like a warring brain with no governing function. And we all shut up and eat our karets.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from madhatter1977
Hi, Mikey. Thanks so much for your encouraging message. There is a discrepancy between your title and the title to the poem Par and Pay. I don't know if it was deliberate but it confused me. Other than that the layout and content were really clever! I think you're right in what you said on my homepage! Well done, Pete :)
|
Hi, Mikey. Thanks so much for your encouraging message. There is a discrepancy between your title and the title to the poem Par and Pay. I don't know if it was deliberate but it confused me. Other than that the layout and content were really clever! I think you're right in what you said on my homepage! Well done, Pete :)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015