Going Down
Part 1 of 320 total reviews
Comment from Megalips
That's another hot one for you, kid...I like sex in an elevator. Very dangerous. That's what makes it interesting. I like your erotic stuff and we are two of the rare people on this site who are willing to write it raw.
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That's another hot one for you, kid...I like sex in an elevator. Very dangerous. That's what makes it interesting. I like your erotic stuff and we are two of the rare people on this site who are willing to write it raw.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from michaelcahill
I read this a couple days ago. I don't know why I didn't review it then. Oh well. This is great erotic and sensual writing considering nothing actually has happened yet. Great characters already set up and an intriguing story line too. On to part two. mikey
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I read this a couple days ago. I don't know why I didn't review it then. Oh well. This is great erotic and sensual writing considering nothing actually has happened yet. Great characters already set up and an intriguing story line too. On to part two. mikey
Comment Written 04-Feb-2015
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a well presented piece of
erotica for the contest, which
fired the imagination ...
it should do well.
Good luck to you.
Margaret
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
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This is a well presented piece of
erotica for the contest, which
fired the imagination ...
it should do well.
Good luck to you.
Margaret
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
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Thank you very much, Margaret.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I don't understand why you need the warning. I enjoyed the story and characters are well developed. The heat in the lift was palpable. Giddy
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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I don't understand why you need the warning. I enjoyed the story and characters are well developed. The heat in the lift was palpable. Giddy
Comment Written 31-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you. You would be surprised how many people scream out over the smallest hint of sexuality without a warning. They seem follow my posts.
Comment from Halfree
Very nicely done....why all the warning about ...well about. Thought the story well done and think you were having a bit of fun with the warning. Any way...liked the story. You developed it quite well.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Very nicely done....why all the warning about ...well about. Thought the story well done and think you were having a bit of fun with the warning. Any way...liked the story. You developed it quite well.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you. Well, you will see if you read parts two and three. Part one is the just the warm up.
Comment from GWinterwin
Good short story about your incident in the elevator. Good word flow to keep the reader wondering what is coming next. The story line is good to make one think sensuous thoughts.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Good short story about your incident in the elevator. Good word flow to keep the reader wondering what is coming next. The story line is good to make one think sensuous thoughts.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much
Comment from comanalbert
This is a good start, promising enough. I would have put in the contest the hottest part, to maximize your chances; readers interested enough could go back to read the beginning...
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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This is a good start, promising enough. I would have put in the contest the hottest part, to maximize your chances; readers interested enough could go back to read the beginning...
Comment Written 31-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you. They all will be in. The contest allows for books too.
Comment from Jay Squires
This has been on my queue for a while so you've probably corrected anything suggested, so bear with me.
, with a maxed out expense account. [Need a hyphen between maxed and out. Any time you have two or more modifiers before the noun, and neither one works by itself, you must hyphenate them. I.e., you cant say "maxed" expense account, nor "out" expense account.]
cause the emergency breaks to release. [emergency BRAKES to release.]
Ahhhhhhhhh... Part 1. I about ripped off the screen trying to turn the page.
Good job, Lance.
, the ones you don't tell your wife about, [the ONE you don't tell...]
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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This has been on my queue for a while so you've probably corrected anything suggested, so bear with me.
, with a maxed out expense account. [Need a hyphen between maxed and out. Any time you have two or more modifiers before the noun, and neither one works by itself, you must hyphenate them. I.e., you cant say "maxed" expense account, nor "out" expense account.]
cause the emergency breaks to release. [emergency BRAKES to release.]
Ahhhhhhhhh... Part 1. I about ripped off the screen trying to turn the page.
Good job, Lance.
, the ones you don't tell your wife about, [the ONE you don't tell...]
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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I don't know how many times you have corrected me on the same word, yet I keep doing it every time. Thank you.
Comment from dmt1967
Wow, this is the scenario when I wish I had a six left or Tom gave us more stars to award. If that was the cast you my friend would easily get a ten. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Wow, this is the scenario when I wish I had a six left or Tom gave us more stars to award. If that was the cast you my friend would easily get a ten. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. The sixes aren't needed. I'm just glad people liked the tale. Parts two and three will be up before the contest ends.
Comment from BeasPeas
If I am reading this correctly the couple did nothing but undress in front of each other in a hot confining elevator. In that case, the situation is awkward, but not obscene. The only inconsistency that I can see is in the power outage. If power was out, interior of the elevator would be totally dark also. Not sure how that could be worked out in your story. Nevertheless, overlooking that one flaw, story is enjoyable.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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If I am reading this correctly the couple did nothing but undress in front of each other in a hot confining elevator. In that case, the situation is awkward, but not obscene. The only inconsistency that I can see is in the power outage. If power was out, interior of the elevator would be totally dark also. Not sure how that could be worked out in your story. Nevertheless, overlooking that one flaw, story is enjoyable.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Emergency lights. Part one is the warm up, part two the foreplay and part three... well you get it. Thanks for reading. I hope you get a chance to read them all before the contest ends.