Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

five lines - follows all the rules :-)
marshmellow clouds - marshmallow
good alliteration in white as winter's
and in snow/skin/smooth
excellent use of similes and closing metaphor
great descriptive detail and a clever, smile-inducing closing :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014

Thank you for the review and catching the spelling error. I'll get that changed.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Ha! At first I thought you were really writing about clouds, and I was think, they are like a baby's skin or always white. The last line was great.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Sep-2014

Thanks;)

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hi :)
I love this entry - it went in a totally different direction to what I expected!
Although... I guess your lover's breasts will be at the forefront of your mind so they will creep into each thought - even likening them to plump clouds!
Nicely done. Made me smile :)
Good luck and kindest regards, Debra

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

thank you Debra!

Comment from rrabinow

Excellent

Great use of metaphors in your poem. Great use of imagery created by your use of descriptive words. I enjoyed reading your poem. Best of luck.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

Thank you for the great review and good luck wishes!

Comment from gypsycaravan

Excellent

Great imagery in your poem. All those beautiful, nature pictures in my mind and then right down to the last line and the National Geographic visual. Ha. Good job. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

ha ha. Thanks for the great review and good luck wishes!

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

Nicely wrought imagery, and definitely a poem in the style of the Ode :-)

I'm a little iffy on the choice of fluffy. . .it kind of evokes insubstantial - but that's just a little nit :-) (I might have chosen plump like marshmallow clouds or billowy marshmallow clouds. . .but like I said, just a nit ;-)

Nice use of the form :-)

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

ah, I like plump - thanks for the suggestion and review.

Comment from granny goes viral

Excellent

I really liked this short form poetry. Quick, intense, with a surprise ending. Well done. Clouds, really just a bundle of moisture, but so easily mused on.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

Thanks so much:)

Comment from RodG

Excellent

Well, I must say we get a vivid description of those wondrous breasts.
Clever use of similes and metaphors.
I hope she approves of all the comparisons.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

Thank you!

Comment from trimple

Excellent

Hi there Tabs

What a fabulous poem!

Your last line really slaps the reader in the chops :)

Great description, great read.

Good luck in the prompt:)

much love

tracey trimple:)

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

Thanks so much:)

Comment from OLA THOMAS

Excellent

I love the blending of this work steaming from nature to romance. I like the alliteration of white/winter and smooth/skin.

ola thomas

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014

Thank you Ola!