war's toll extended
contest entry-dbl 5-7-530 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Some interesting thoughts through here mate. Thanks for sharing. Hope you did well in the competition if it is not over already.
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Some interesting thoughts through here mate. Thanks for sharing. Hope you did well in the competition if it is not over already.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
Comment from Sasha
This is absolutely perfect. I can see why it won the contest. You are becoming (or are) a terrific poet my friend. Excellent work with this one.
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This is absolutely perfect. I can see why it won the contest. You are becoming (or are) a terrific poet my friend. Excellent work with this one.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
Comment from Loren (7)
Just now seeing this. Congratulations. Very tactile poem affecting the senses with imagery and personification of the seasons and what and how they affect things around it - including our own perceptions. Loren
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Just now seeing this. Congratulations. Very tactile poem affecting the senses with imagery and personification of the seasons and what and how they affect things around it - including our own perceptions. Loren
Comment Written 09-Sep-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Another disturbing poem, Mikey, but in a much different way. A more realistic and historical way. I just read The Lost City of Z, and this poem made me think about that.
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Another disturbing poem, Mikey, but in a much different way. A more realistic and historical way. I just read The Lost City of Z, and this poem made me think about that.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from Darkhorse555
this was just amazing words almost gave a floating feeling i feel if you floated a soul inside this piece smiling on the moon aimless canoe drifts
the moon spies on in silence
ripples tell their tale
excellent piece of writing just sharing a vision smiling
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this was just amazing words almost gave a floating feeling i feel if you floated a soul inside this piece smiling on the moon aimless canoe drifts
the moon spies on in silence
ripples tell their tale
excellent piece of writing just sharing a vision smiling
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Curious who thought of this one? You followed the rules and guidelines. Looks pretty good to me. Seasons are surroundings. Put it like the canoe was live, how interesting... count your doubloon Boatswains mate. Aaarrrggghhh, someone took me first six shooter. I got five more rusty pistols. Still got me cutlass. Me dingy has a bent bough -- she takes on water, pilgrim. How did you know?
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Curious who thought of this one? You followed the rules and guidelines. Looks pretty good to me. Seasons are surroundings. Put it like the canoe was live, how interesting... count your doubloon Boatswains mate. Aaarrrggghhh, someone took me first six shooter. I got five more rusty pistols. Still got me cutlass. Me dingy has a bent bough -- she takes on water, pilgrim. How did you know?
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from emrpoems
perfect 5/7/5 syllable count in both verses
good use of alliteration throughout
Well written with good description
good assonance --spies/silence
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perfect 5/7/5 syllable count in both verses
good use of alliteration throughout
Well written with good description
good assonance --spies/silence
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from CR Delport
I know I am not a poem fundi, but the meaning of this poem is lost on me. I can sense a lot of sadness though, which is what war brings. Good luck in the contest.
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I know I am not a poem fundi, but the meaning of this poem is lost on me. I can sense a lot of sadness though, which is what war brings. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from country ranch writer
canoe moving silently along the waterway with child taking in the fresh air of winter as it creeps through the night air as quietly as the canoe
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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canoe moving silently along the waterway with child taking in the fresh air of winter as it creeps through the night air as quietly as the canoe
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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I like that! Very poetic. mikey
Comment from kiwijenny
This is a poignant sad poem...I am sorry I don't understand the title though...the empty canoe...makes me think someone drowned...well a friend did this summer and my daughter saw it ...later to find out it was a friend.
God bless
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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This is a poignant sad poem...I am sorry I don't understand the title though...the empty canoe...makes me think someone drowned...well a friend did this summer and my daughter saw it ...later to find out it was a friend.
God bless
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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How heart breaking. So sorry to hear that. The title is a stretch I know. You are correct about the intent of the canoe. There's a lot of room for interpretation. I had images in mind of hopelessness due to the senselessness of war. But, there are many other things that the images can bring to mind. Some might even find them to be simply peaceful. It might have been more wise to have a more neutral title, but I wanted to put my take on it. A thoughtful review. Sorry again for the sadness your family suffered. mikey
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He would have been 31 yesterday saddest thing.