The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Longing for you"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
23 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an interesting poem, Carolyn, and the picture is like the past is trying to push its way into her present happiness. my account was restricted for three days and I couldn't review or have people review me. I told tom it was hurting my rating and my member dollars because of a problem with the system. there was one day I did one review and was restricted. so it had to be with his system.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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this is an interesting poem, Carolyn, and the picture is like the past is trying to push its way into her present happiness. my account was restricted for three days and I couldn't review or have people review me. I told tom it was hurting my rating and my member dollars because of a problem with the system. there was one day I did one review and was restricted. so it had to be with his system.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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That is strange, so glad things are ok now for you. Thanks for this great review. :-) Carolyn
Comment from l.raven
I think you are so right Carolyn...I can so relate to your poem...so very well written....and I can see why the picture made you feel that why...love it!!! Love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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I think you are so right Carolyn...I can so relate to your poem...so very well written....and I can see why the picture made you feel that why...love it!!! Love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 19-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Hi there dear friend. So glad to hear from you. I'm glad you liked the poem. Love, Carolyn
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have been off a couple days...but am just getting back...always happy to see you...hugs
Comment from misscookie
Just looking at the artwork it can go either way. At first I thought it was her spirit leaving her coffin or grave.
I like yours better.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Just looking at the artwork it can go either way. At first I thought it was her spirit leaving her coffin or grave.
I like yours better.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Thanks miss cookie for this wonderful review. Coffin or grave, hmmmmmm.. :-)Carolyn
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You're very welcome, have a blessed week-end.
Cookie
Comment from adewpearl
when we were we - excellent use of alliteration
increase/deepens - excellent assonance
good use of enjambment
soulful expression of heartfelt emotion
a moving expression of love lost and yearning
Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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when we were we - excellent use of alliteration
increase/deepens - excellent assonance
good use of enjambment
soulful expression of heartfelt emotion
a moving expression of love lost and yearning
Brooke
Comment Written 18-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014
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Thanks Brooke for the affirming comments. :-) Carolyn
Comment from GE Parson
What do I think? Yes, I can see your thought on this; howsumever(an Iowa red-neck expression) I see a man
day dreaminf about a former lover, longing to be with her again. But he just remebers her in her youthful beauty, not realizing that the years of strugggles, ill health, gaining
of weight,has changed her looks & attitude.
I once had a sweet breath taking teen-age girlfriend, who
broke my heart. Evcery one ihawhile I would thinkof times we had been together, and I could almost hear her voice and smell her "white shoulders" Then one day about 29 yrs ater, circunstances brought us together, and how she had chaged:
Woo! smoking had rasped her voice, drinking coupled with late morning partying with "tomcat men" had put wrinkles in he once pure white unblemishe skin and her personality changed from soft speaking to loud intrusive arrogane...
that was the last time I day dreamed about any of my old high school friends. (of course time has not so effected my handsome mug)
God bless,
MARANATHA!!
Your friend, Jerry
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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What do I think? Yes, I can see your thought on this; howsumever(an Iowa red-neck expression) I see a man
day dreaminf about a former lover, longing to be with her again. But he just remebers her in her youthful beauty, not realizing that the years of strugggles, ill health, gaining
of weight,has changed her looks & attitude.
I once had a sweet breath taking teen-age girlfriend, who
broke my heart. Evcery one ihawhile I would thinkof times we had been together, and I could almost hear her voice and smell her "white shoulders" Then one day about 29 yrs ater, circunstances brought us together, and how she had chaged:
Woo! smoking had rasped her voice, drinking coupled with late morning partying with "tomcat men" had put wrinkles in he once pure white unblemishe skin and her personality changed from soft speaking to loud intrusive arrogane...
that was the last time I day dreamed about any of my old high school friends. (of course time has not so effected my handsome mug)
God bless,
MARANATHA!!
Your friend, Jerry
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Jerry, if I could rate your comments, I would give them a six star review. LOL I enjoyed all that you wrote. Thanks for sharing your story, and for enjoying this poem.
Your friend,
Carolyn
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very nice poem, notesandmore, and while I don't know all that much about free verse and all of its ins and outs, I do know what reads well, and resonates for me. This one certainly fits the bill.
Great photo, too!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Very nice poem, notesandmore, and while I don't know all that much about free verse and all of its ins and outs, I do know what reads well, and resonates for me. This one certainly fits the bill.
Great photo, too!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thanks Dean, I'm glad this read well for you. :-) Carolyn
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My pleasure, Carolyn, anytime. :}
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Carolyn.
I like how you've interpreted the picture. She is definitely gazing outward, unfocused on those around. Your idea works well and does reflect in her face a longing. Great way to create a poem from an image.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Hi, Carolyn.
I like how you've interpreted the picture. She is definitely gazing outward, unfocused on those around. Your idea works well and does reflect in her face a longing. Great way to create a poem from an image.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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You got it so clearly Rosalyne, thanks for the great review.
:-) Carolyn
Comment from Spitfire
Two thinks I like about this-the enjambment in lines four and five, and the ending, although repetitious, carries much more meaning the second time.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Two thinks I like about this-the enjambment in lines four and five, and the ending, although repetitious, carries much more meaning the second time.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Hi there and thanks for the great review. :-) Carolyn
Comment from angelface2
Hmm. Lovely verse, Carolyn. the girl is contemplating something I think. And since there is a guy in the picture could be that. Nice free verse. Miss Sally
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Hmm. Lovely verse, Carolyn. the girl is contemplating something I think. And since there is a guy in the picture could be that. Nice free verse. Miss Sally
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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The picture lends to a multitude of interpretations. So glad you liked Longing for you. :-) Carolyn
Comment from Tomes Johnston
I know the feeling that the author is talking about in this piece of writing. I feel this way too about that special somebody in my life. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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I know the feeling that the author is talking about in this piece of writing. I feel this way too about that special somebody in my life. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014
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Thanks Tom for the comments and best wishes. :-) Carolyn
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My pleasure yet again.