Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

Congratulations! There was never any doubt in my mind. It was still a great contest and a lot of fun. This was a helluva fun story and a further education for me. I am improving at this stuff and getting a little taste for BLOOD!! Hahaha. I'm pleased to have my little offering in my portfolio. I was surprised that I came up with something that was pretty good. So, I'm not convinced and I'm ready for more!! Well done. Let's do it again. mikey

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 19-Jul-2014

We will, Mikey, and very soon. I hated to see some that reserved spots never submitted their stories, but maybe next time. I'm glad everyone seemed to have fun with the contest, and the ones who did submit their work did an excellent job, yours included.

I will be returning with same contest very soon. I sincerely hope you'll participate in it as well. Your story and passion for writing it were clearly evident, and I appreciated that!

Comment from Linda Engel

Excellent

absolutely spell binding, The narration is well spoken and emotionally hardened and calm when addressing her assailant .
A clever twist of fate having the lawyer be the killer and a much satisfying fate of having him tortured and killed by the girls.

On a sad note , this could have come right out of police reports, cold cases, or psychologists' profile notes.

Your imagination is incredible and a delight to read. However, if you go missing in the middle of the night , it is because someone read what you wrote and was frightened that you had found him out.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 15-Jul-2014

Ha, I never thought of it quite like that, Linda, but thanks for pointing that out and giving me something else to fret about, LOL.

I really appreciate your kind comments and sincere review.

reply by Linda Engel on 15-Jul-2014

:)

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Angela gave Ben what he deserved, a little slice at a time, and then watched as he drank the congealed blood off his soggy eyeball. Now, who's ever heard of drinking a "Bloody Ben." Great job :-)

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 15-Jul-2014

Ben has, that's who, Ric (hee hee).

Thanks for dropping by and reviewing this one for me, Ric. I really appreciate it!

Comment from DSchlosser

Exceptional

Asspertame in the middle of the story was awesome! That had me rolling for a minute. I still remember some cheesy horror movies in the middle of the night with Billy Dee Williams from 'Star Wars' selling a psychic service network. The story was great, and of course everybody hates clowns. So, this was a good creepy character to start off the narrator part. Great story!

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 15-Jul-2014

Thanks a million, 'D', I'm really glad you liked it. A lot of people don't like the commercial, saying they felt it to be more of a distraction than anything else. But, the story is so grotesquely gruesome, I felt some comic relief was truly need to allow readers to catch their breath, so to speak. In addition, I wanted it to feel to readers as if they were watching one of those cheesy, "B" type movies so many of the horror hosts had on their programs. So, a commercial seemed like the best solution. I'm really glad you liked that silly portion as well.

Thanks again for your great feed back and exceptional rating, my friend. I appreciate it, very much.

Comment from padumachitta

Exceptional

Hi. Seriously creepy. Well written, just crudeenough and weird enough to carry forward.
And of cousre you got the flying crpt thing down perect
Cioa

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 15-Jul-2014

Thank you, Padu, and I knew I took a big risk writing this story in first person singular all the way through. I've only read two other stories written in this manner, and one of them was another entry in this contest I'm really glad to know that writing it in the way achieved the desired effect I was looking for.

Thanks again for the wonderful review and most generous rating, my friend!

reply by padumachitta on 15-Jul-2014

Yeah...i hear yeah....i wrote in 1st person...but since i never win, it doesn't matter:-)...it is all practice...good luck.eh,pc

reply by the author on 15-Jul-2014

:} ------ There are still four days left to vote, and anything can happen. Believe me!

Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas

Excellent

A well effort put work. The artwork, the pics images and captions were quite powerful and scary as well. The theme is really impressive.
We've both have got a lot of work to do, Ben...you and I. There are still many places on what's left of your body where I can inflict pain before I deliver the coup de grace. After all, Ben, I have plenty of time.

In fact, I have all the time in the world.[ My pick]

K

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 15-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Kashif, and that is my favorite line in the entire story as well, my friend. Some didn't like it, stating that it didn't give poor Rose closure. But you and I, we both know that ole Ben is in for a hell's worth of hurt, don't we?

Thanks so much for the great feedback, and for your very encouraging review and rating as well, my friend.

Comment from HeavenlyDreads

Excellent

I really liked the approach you took with this story. The point of view helped me really connect with the main character, who surprisingly was the heroine of the tale. I didn't read the rules of the contest, but I enjoyed the "Tales from the Crypt" /"Elvira" vibe. It was really like watching a show. There was a moral to your story and it was quite enjoyable getting to the closing and seeing Ben get what he deserved (he was a sick puppy).

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014

Yes, ole ben was a real loser, HeavenlyDreads. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review this story, and share your thoughts with me about it. The contest states that your story has to have an intro from a campy horror host like the Crypt Keeper from Tales of the Crypt, so I'm glad this made you think of that series.

Thanks again, I truly appreciate it~

Comment from DionysusDeVille

Excellent

Definitely creepy tale and Rose has some true issues to be at the age of 17. Kind of reminds me of a new age tales from the crypt. Great job

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, DionysusDeVille. That's precisely the feel I was trying to create. The contest rules state that the story must be presented by a horror host of our own creation, and the Circus Freak was what I managed to come up with. If you click on the contest link at the bottom left of the story, it will explain all the rules, and why it is written the way it is.

I am really glad that you liked it. I hope you had a bit of fun while reading it too.

Thanks so much again, I appreciate it!

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

I am going to be honest, it is really hard to hide who you are with your awesome reputation for horror, gore, etc. I fond this fascinating, very well written and I must add I do understand the difficulty of writing in first person...that's the only way I write. Your descriptions, details, and vivid imagery is astonishing and I love how you give the girl/woman/old hag a very good reason for doing what she does. Clever twist to this one and a great entry for this contest too. I wish you all the best my dear Mystery Man.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Smurphgirlsasha, I really appreciate that.

I've really taken some hear for this one, and it's gotten everything from two-star ratings to sixes. Go figure.

The girl in the story is young, just 17 when Ben killed her. I make mention of that in the very beginning of the story. She's just very well-spoken and refined for her age.

Thanks so much again, for everything!

Comment from JBCaine

Good

Author X-
It's not a bad story, insofar as the story itself goes.
Perhaps I'm just jaded from reading the various works of truly scary writers, but the promised horror just never materialized for me. Graphic, yes. Plenty graphic. Dark, yes. Very dark indeed. Scary? Not so much. Even though I didn't know the story, and you did a good job of delivering it layer by layer, as far as your actual written words, I found it fairly predictable.
However, my biggest issue with the piece is simply the disjointed and rambling style. Quite possibly, the ragged style here is what kept the piece from ever achieving any scare factor or truly engaging horror for this reader.
This is just my opinion, and I hope you take no offense at it, but this one fell far short of what the initial hype promised.
Again, a pretty good story, just some major issues in the presentation that were distracting to the point of becoming annoying. This one just did not work for me.
Best to you in your continued efforts.
JBCaine-

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014

Hey, no worries, JB, and no offense taken. Not everyone liked director Dan O'Bannon's Return of the Living Dead, but there were far more who did than did not. I think this story is a lot like that. I guess we'll see come contest time how effective it's intended campy style is to the majority.

And you should never feel that you need to apologize for voicing your opinion. It's your right to have one, and you should always call it as you see it.


Thanks for your time spent reading and writing this review.

Respectfully...

reply by JBCaine on 10-Jul-2014

Well, I never liked much about Elvira, either, other than peeping at Elvira, so probably it's just my poor taste.
I did think the story was worthy of 5 stars,for what that is worth.
Best to you in the contest, and hopefully I'm the oddball on this one.
JBC-