Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Tommy who wouldn't brush his teeth"A collection of my children's poems
26 total reviews
Comment from SaluteDobby
Hi Steve!
Congrats on winning the contest. I can see why it won. This was such a fun read! so descriptive and imagination running wild (though you might want to give your grandparents the credit for that!!)
One thing that they used to tell me was that trees would grow from my tummy, should I happen to swallow a seed- usually apple or orange. :) And then I would worry for hours.. oh! the innocence of childhood! :)
I look forward to reading your poems!
Regards,
Namratha
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
  |
Hi Steve!
Congrats on winning the contest. I can see why it won. This was such a fun read! so descriptive and imagination running wild (though you might want to give your grandparents the credit for that!!)
One thing that they used to tell me was that trees would grow from my tummy, should I happen to swallow a seed- usually apple or orange. :) And then I would worry for hours.. oh! the innocence of childhood! :)
I look forward to reading your poems!
Regards,
Namratha
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
-
Namratha, welcome back from exile, sabbatical or whatever it was!
Thanks for the kind words on my piece of nonsense - yes, the tale of seeds growing inside you seems to have been a common one. I don't even know why parents wanted to discourage us from swallowing seeds - perhaps they believed the stories themselves!
Steve
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Steve,
This is so darn cute! No wonder you won - Congrats! And you're right - the boogieman would get us if we didn't walk the straight and narrow.
Cheers &
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
|
Hi Steve,
This is so darn cute! No wonder you won - Congrats! And you're right - the boogieman would get us if we didn't walk the straight and narrow.
Cheers &
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
-
Thanks, Jax!
Steve
Comment from emrpoems
Congrats on your win. Very imaginative
Created vivid imagery
Excellent rhyming couplets in your quatrains
a story in this poem that will scare any child into cleaning his teeth
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
|
Congrats on your win. Very imaginative
Created vivid imagery
Excellent rhyming couplets in your quatrains
a story in this poem that will scare any child into cleaning his teeth
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
-
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ha! It's no wonder this won the contest, Steve, it was very clever, and funny, too!
Poor Tommy Tiddly-Pom. I'm sure there must've been a Mr. & Mrs. Tiddly-Pom. Otherwise, Tommy would had to have been hatched...or worse!
I can only imagine what their teeth might have looked like. Given their lackadaisical attitude toward their son's dental health, the whole family could have probably grown enough produce to last them for a long time.
Good work, a poem that any kid would love, I think.
~DK~
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
|
Ha! It's no wonder this won the contest, Steve, it was very clever, and funny, too!
Poor Tommy Tiddly-Pom. I'm sure there must've been a Mr. & Mrs. Tiddly-Pom. Otherwise, Tommy would had to have been hatched...or worse!
I can only imagine what their teeth might have looked like. Given their lackadaisical attitude toward their son's dental health, the whole family could have probably grown enough produce to last them for a long time.
Good work, a poem that any kid would love, I think.
~DK~
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
Thanks, Dean - I think I did have a verse half done about the parents, but ended up chopping it. Glad yoy enjoyed this piece of silliness as any big kid would.
Steve
Comment from DR DIP
wow that is brilliant what a great concept poem to scare the shit out of kids not cleaning their tetth regularly!! lol
Some of your descriptive lines were so well written and funny I am sitting here imagining the dentist with a chainsaw and an axe right now and I will be making an appointment at the dentist or the nursery for that matter in the morning!!
dip
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
 |
wow that is brilliant what a great concept poem to scare the shit out of kids not cleaning their tetth regularly!! lol
Some of your descriptive lines were so well written and funny I am sitting here imagining the dentist with a chainsaw and an axe right now and I will be making an appointment at the dentist or the nursery for that matter in the morning!!
dip
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
As you should - I sincerely hope he doesn't find any trees!
Thanks for the review and six stars.
Steve
Comment from Delahay
This is a fun and funny way to get a message across to children about the importance of taking care of their teeth. Well written with style and humor and a great deal of imagination.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
|
This is a fun and funny way to get a message across to children about the importance of taking care of their teeth. Well written with style and humor and a great deal of imagination.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
well chosen words and images to portray the dilemma of poor Tommy's teeth
good AA/BB rhyme theme through out verses
good alliteration in verses
good rhythm
cheers..Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
|
good luck in the contest
well chosen words and images to portray the dilemma of poor Tommy's teeth
good AA/BB rhyme theme through out verses
good alliteration in verses
good rhythm
cheers..Smoothiecool
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
-
welcome..SC
Comment from w.j.debi
Scare them silly. That seems to work in a lot of cases and many children love to be scared. Now with a whole forest in your mouth if you don't brush and then the drastic action to correct it. Love the ending.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
|
Scare them silly. That seems to work in a lot of cases and many children love to be scared. Now with a whole forest in your mouth if you don't brush and then the drastic action to correct it. Love the ending.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
love Tommy's alliterative and assonant name
excellent use of rhyming couplets
good alliteration and strong verbs in pushed and poked
good alliterative grouping in the B foods
love the alliteration and assonance and descriptive detail in gunky gums
I just LOVE the final stanzas and poor Tommy's terrible fate LOL Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
|
love Tommy's alliterative and assonant name
excellent use of rhyming couplets
good alliteration and strong verbs in pushed and poked
good alliterative grouping in the B foods
love the alliteration and assonance and descriptive detail in gunky gums
I just LOVE the final stanzas and poor Tommy's terrible fate LOL Brooke
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
Thanks, Brooke - I knew you would appreciate the gruesome details of this one, although Tommy does live to floss another day.
Steve
Comment from Eric1
A brilliantly humourous funny and very clever poem, i loved the name you chose for the little boy, not one hundred per cent sure that it's suitable for children mind you, they would never go near a dentist again!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
|
A brilliantly humourous funny and very clever poem, i loved the name you chose for the little boy, not one hundred per cent sure that it's suitable for children mind you, they would never go near a dentist again!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
Thanks again, Eric.
Steve