Love at First Kiss
Can it be?26 total reviews
Comment from Sean A. Chai
Excellent job on this flash fiction. You definitely made it complete even with the 100 word limit. It was very reflective of the POV character. The murder caught be by surprise.
I hope you did well on the contest.
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Excellent job on this flash fiction. You definitely made it complete even with the 100 word limit. It was very reflective of the POV character. The murder caught be by surprise.
I hope you did well on the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
Comment from Muffins
This raced through my spine. Two damaged people meet up and tragically one is more damaged than the other. This pinpoint of evil in 100 builds suspense and holds the reader to the bitter, gross end. As always, you've hit the nerve.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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This raced through my spine. Two damaged people meet up and tragically one is more damaged than the other. This pinpoint of evil in 100 builds suspense and holds the reader to the bitter, gross end. As always, you've hit the nerve.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much. You really understood what I was trying to convey.
Comment from Nosha17
Guess, I am rather naïve and backward about such things. Your piece of flash fiction is certainly startling, with such an explosive ending. Good use of language in the narrative and it read well. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Guess, I am rather naïve and backward about such things. Your piece of flash fiction is certainly startling, with such an explosive ending. Good use of language in the narrative and it read well. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much, Faye.
Comment from Domino 2
Very honest, self-deprecating and entertaining read.
Blimey, no wonder I can't get a kiss, as I can only afford ten cents. :-)
Terrific last line morbid 'gotcha'. I hope you recovered the cash.
Best wishes, Ray
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Very honest, self-deprecating and entertaining read.
Blimey, no wonder I can't get a kiss, as I can only afford ten cents. :-)
Terrific last line morbid 'gotcha'. I hope you recovered the cash.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
Comment from victor 66
I loved the macabre and shock value at the end of your story. It's strange, I can watch horror movies half the night, and I sleep like a baby. I'll read your 100 word story before bed tonight, to make sure I get a good night's sleep. Best wishes, Lancellot.
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I loved the macabre and shock value at the end of your story. It's strange, I can watch horror movies half the night, and I sleep like a baby. I'll read your 100 word story before bed tonight, to make sure I get a good night's sleep. Best wishes, Lancellot.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
Comment from amada
Like a chamber of horrors in a flash fiction work, and all in one hundred words! Surprising ending, I didn't expect this action, it didn't match with the writing voice... I guess, that was the intention.
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Like a chamber of horrors in a flash fiction work, and all in one hundred words! Surprising ending, I didn't expect this action, it didn't match with the writing voice... I guess, that was the intention.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
Comment from mfowler
You build up the sentimentality and sense of self-critical patho sreally well by the writing th e'john's' reflections on the worth of both in the encounter. Just as easily you move the reader to horror with a casual killing. 100 words well spent.
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You build up the sentimentality and sense of self-critical patho sreally well by the writing th e'john's' reflections on the worth of both in the encounter. Just as easily you move the reader to horror with a casual killing. 100 words well spent.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
Comment from Bill Schott
I think this story is a great trick on the readers that works very well. The deep rationalizing about the love at first kiss completely sucked me in. The boffo ending was choice, making we re-read. This is what shorter formats are supposed to do. Loved this one.
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I think this story is a great trick on the readers that works very well. The deep rationalizing about the love at first kiss completely sucked me in. The boffo ending was choice, making we re-read. This is what shorter formats are supposed to do. Loved this one.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
Comment from royowen
A most bizarre entry in this 100 word dash contest! A little horrors, thrown in with this well written, graphically stark and emphatic narrative! This is a different entry! Some May like it! Good luck! Blessings, Roy.
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A most bizarre entry in this 100 word dash contest! A little horrors, thrown in with this well written, graphically stark and emphatic narrative! This is a different entry! Some May like it! Good luck! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
Comment from forestport12
Impressive writing. It uses the prompt to the letter so far as stranger is concerned. Definitely makes you wonder if a kiss has a tangible meaning with it being sex for money, etc... Well done...
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Impressive writing. It uses the prompt to the letter so far as stranger is concerned. Definitely makes you wonder if a kiss has a tangible meaning with it being sex for money, etc... Well done...
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much.