Hide Or Bluff
An Option For Handling Bullies22 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh one of my soap box subjects.
you did it so well and i loved the interraction between the hero and the bullies
very well written and even puts the reader right in the middle
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Oh one of my soap box subjects.
you did it so well and i loved the interraction between the hero and the bullies
very well written and even puts the reader right in the middle
Comment Written 03-Jun-2014
Comment from Patti R.
I enjoyed this, Michael. Nice bluff! Which we all know doesn't always work - bluffing, but an intelligent kid will seek out a way to diffuse a situation using words. 'Kay, that doesn't always work either ... I agree with you, bullies are cowards, especially the ones that need a posse at their back.
Well written, dude.
Good ending.
Patti
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I enjoyed this, Michael. Nice bluff! Which we all know doesn't always work - bluffing, but an intelligent kid will seek out a way to diffuse a situation using words. 'Kay, that doesn't always work either ... I agree with you, bullies are cowards, especially the ones that need a posse at their back.
Well written, dude.
Good ending.
Patti
Comment Written 02-Jun-2014
Comment from country ranch writer
BULLIES ARE ALWAYS BRAVE WHEN IN PACKS BUT LET THEM HAVE TO SATANK ALONE AND THEY JUST ABOUT WET THEIR PANTS, THEY CAN'T DO THINGS BY THEMSELVES FOR THE YELLOW STREAT DOWN THEIR BACK
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BULLIES ARE ALWAYS BRAVE WHEN IN PACKS BUT LET THEM HAVE TO SATANK ALONE AND THEY JUST ABOUT WET THEIR PANTS, THEY CAN'T DO THINGS BY THEMSELVES FOR THE YELLOW STREAT DOWN THEIR BACK
Comment Written 02-Jun-2014
Comment from Spitfire
Beautifully written, mikey. How your skill have improved. Sorry to see this was fiction. Wanted to see if it would work in the real world. Smart hero to blow the bullies minds with jargon about businesses etc. Nice to have back up too. A fun read.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Beautifully written, mikey. How your skill have improved. Sorry to see this was fiction. Wanted to see if it would work in the real world. Smart hero to blow the bullies minds with jargon about businesses etc. Nice to have back up too. A fun read.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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It is true! Except, I never had enough sense to be afraid. I thought it sounded too braggy, so I put it as fiction. It works every time. So pleased you see improvement, I am working on it! Thank you so much. mikey
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Bullies are wretched people living wretched lives. My nephew was a victim of bullying. It was horrible and the extra-sad thing was that the bullies were the "throw-away" kids. Kids that were neglected, had no decent home life or parenting. I like how the character in your story stands up to the bullies. Sometimes you just have to dive in. I know it's easy for me to say that sitting here, having never been bullied. Good write, Mikey.
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Bullies are wretched people living wretched lives. My nephew was a victim of bullying. It was horrible and the extra-sad thing was that the bullies were the "throw-away" kids. Kids that were neglected, had no decent home life or parenting. I like how the character in your story stands up to the bullies. Sometimes you just have to dive in. I know it's easy for me to say that sitting here, having never been bullied. Good write, Mikey.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Very well written but not as flawless as usual. Could use a once through. That aside, love the theme and pace. The scene is well captured and familiar. The solution works if only more kids realized that. Well done.
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Very well written but not as flawless as usual. Could use a once through. That aside, love the theme and pace. The scene is well captured and familiar. The solution works if only more kids realized that. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Foremost, I'm amazed by the quantity of material you spit out. Blown from a whale's spot, a fountain of words. Everyone could use some self improvement. I second that--mate. The zephyr blows me aback me rudder. Me mizzen and lugsail torn to smitherines. The special container box is adequate. Looks nice. They are cowards. If you severe the leader's head, the rest will run. I don't like bullies. Amusing tale. Has truth, and a message. Good job, Mikey, Lion King. do loco
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Foremost, I'm amazed by the quantity of material you spit out. Blown from a whale's spot, a fountain of words. Everyone could use some self improvement. I second that--mate. The zephyr blows me aback me rudder. Me mizzen and lugsail torn to smitherines. The special container box is adequate. Looks nice. They are cowards. If you severe the leader's head, the rest will run. I don't like bullies. Amusing tale. Has truth, and a message. Good job, Mikey, Lion King. do loco
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
Comment from lancellot
An interesting fictional tale. This is what I saw, I may be wrong, but in encourage you to look closely at it.
notes:
And now, here I was behind these stinking dumpsters huddled down hearing footsteps running by.
- this line mixes present and past tense.
High school was just a living hell.
- the paragraph begins in the past.
My heart is beating so damn loud. How can they not hear it?
- Here is where you switch to present tense, in the same paragraph.
What to do? I decided that I would
-present and past mixed again.
What's the worst that could happen? Shut up! I can't have that running through my head now. It's showtime!
-You should distinguish internal thoughts, like dialogue.
To this day, I wonder if I would've stood my ground.
- this line makes it sound like the character ran, but he didn't.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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An interesting fictional tale. This is what I saw, I may be wrong, but in encourage you to look closely at it.
notes:
And now, here I was behind these stinking dumpsters huddled down hearing footsteps running by.
- this line mixes present and past tense.
High school was just a living hell.
- the paragraph begins in the past.
My heart is beating so damn loud. How can they not hear it?
- Here is where you switch to present tense, in the same paragraph.
What to do? I decided that I would
-present and past mixed again.
What's the worst that could happen? Shut up! I can't have that running through my head now. It's showtime!
-You should distinguish internal thoughts, like dialogue.
To this day, I wonder if I would've stood my ground.
- this line makes it sound like the character ran, but he didn't.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014
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Hey. Thank you. I often get into a time warp like this between tenses. It feels off but I can't put my finger on it. Appreciate the specifics. That is major help for me. I agree on the last line, good point. I'll take a look. Thanks again. mikey
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I think I have it all in present tense now. What a difference when it is correct. Thank you.
Comment from nor84
would test my theory of cowards-running-in-packs out>>> doesn't need hyphens.
A few of the more brave (braver) souls each encouraged by the others(') presence>>>more than one 'other' so the apostrophe goes after the s.
Good story. Reminds me of me, except I never had the good sense to back down. When I was in fifth grade, a boy named Mac Poe gave my overcoat a jerk and popped a button. I faced him, ready to fight. He said, "I can't hit you. You're a girl."
I said, "Shoulda thought about that before you grabbed my coat."
How did it end? Well, a teacher broke us up. Would I have smacked him? I don't know. Shortly after that I started carrying rocks in my purse, and if I'd had them, I would have smacked him.
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would test my theory of cowards-running-in-packs out>>> doesn't need hyphens.
A few of the more brave (braver) souls each encouraged by the others(') presence>>>more than one 'other' so the apostrophe goes after the s.
Good story. Reminds me of me, except I never had the good sense to back down. When I was in fifth grade, a boy named Mac Poe gave my overcoat a jerk and popped a button. I faced him, ready to fight. He said, "I can't hit you. You're a girl."
I said, "Shoulda thought about that before you grabbed my coat."
How did it end? Well, a teacher broke us up. Would I have smacked him? I don't know. Shortly after that I started carrying rocks in my purse, and if I'd had them, I would have smacked him.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, if you have the courage to confront them...you have the courage to stand your ground...a very well written story...I hate bullies...I always have...I have stood up for people I didn't even know to help them...but like you said...most are cowards...I'm glad they retreated...well done you...Luff Linda xoox
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HI Michael, if you have the courage to confront them...you have the courage to stand your ground...a very well written story...I hate bullies...I always have...I have stood up for people I didn't even know to help them...but like you said...most are cowards...I'm glad they retreated...well done you...Luff Linda xoox
Comment Written 01-Jun-2014